Letter for 'Dawn'

OOC: Nothing important for nor directly involving anyone is written here. It's more just an interesting read (roast) for when you're bored, in an attempt to add more depth to' the faceless Horde' that we're dealing with now. The letter has been addressed to one of my Horde characters in response to recent events (I'm looking at you, Ironforge >_>).

IC:
*****
In her makeshift office in Hammerfall, a blood elf sits passed out at her desk amidst a clutter of files and reports. Her staff rests next to a small wooden crate, upon which the crimson wool of her Silvermoon tabard lays neatly folded. At the corner of the desk is a drained bottle of Eversong wine, while a red-tinted page lays on the other side above the mess of papers: a letter. Small indentations line the page from where the reader held too tightly.

*****

Miss Dawnsong,

It has come to our attention that you are not adequately performing your duties. Your actions and reports are, unsatisfactory, to say the least.
Your task was not complex: "in exchange for the dwarf, the Reliquary would gain an artifact from the vault of Ironforge." Simple.
However, you instead reported that you were deceived: you gave them the prisoner, and received a useless toy in return. You gave them all our leverage, and received nothing back. I would love to have seen their reaction when they returned home; there is no doubt that both of us were laughing at you in equal measure.

However, it doesn't end there. Word has reached me that, in response, you decided to authorise a little 'surprise', for our dwarven friends. In the heart of their kingdom, no less. While I do always appreciate the demonstration of our righteous fury to those who dare challenge us, tell me: did you ever weigh the risk? I heard you sent the escort you were granted, that elite Forsaken Shadowstalker, to do your dirty work. Has he reported in yet? Has he returned from the bowls of Ironforge? No? How tragically unexpectedly.

As effective as your little stint might have been, the loss of such a highly prized ally will have severe repercussions. Repercussions fully directed at you, Miss Dawnsong. Don't bother officially reporting this incident, as I have already done so, and will personally inform Forsaken command who is responsible for the tragic end of their soldier. No need to thank me, priestess, I am merely performing my duties.

On a completely unrelated note, I heard Stromgarde has fallen to the Alliance again. If I recall correctly, you were a part of that regiment? The one assigned to patrol and safeguard Arathi from enemy advances? Oh my, what a tragic coincidence to see you as derelict in your duties to Horde as in your duties to Quel'thalas.

Now if I may get back on topic. If it was your intention to humiliate the Sin'dorei, then I must congratulate you for surpassing even your own expectations. I looked over your past records. They were impressive, if I do say so myself. Which in turn, only adds to the incredible splendor of your failures. It just acts as proof really, that even if someone looks good on paper, chances are they fail to live up to their expectations in the real world.

I am obliged to comment that your only redeeming factor was your ability to convince us that you could perform your duties faithfully. It was so genuine, so confident. But sending a naive and ignorant priestess to negotiate with our enemies? I should have known they would have taken advantage of you. My head must have been clouded at the time, perhaps my tea was spiked with some thistle at the time of our first meeting? I can think of no other reason to have chosen you otherwise.
Regardless, I would like to thank you for pointing out this flaw in our judgement; we will ensure that we are more careful with who we choose to represent our goals.

Thus it is with some regret that I say that you will be staying out on the field for a while longer; a suitable replacement is still being found. The screening process is taking longer than I had hoped, as emphasis has been placed on ensuring our new operative does not suffer from hidden ineptitude.

Until then I implore you to not smear your (and by extension, ours) reputation any further. Or I assure you, the next time you report in to me, you will have more than a mere blade thrown at you.

Signed by
Councillor Swiftblade,
Prominent in the Council of External Affairs

Well, this gave me a chuckle. Made me feel a little bad, but then I laughed some more and I got over it.