Wikketpedia - Ookin' Dookers Guide to Hozen, Wikket and Banana

*crudely scrawled and scribbled upon a large stone in Grookin Hill - the paint used is already dripping and smudging, but the inane script is still mostly legible*

WIKKETPEDIA MAKE BY BIB-BIB

WHY BIB-BIB MAKE

Bib-Bib wiseman in Grookin Hill. Bib-Bib all the ookin’ time ask by horkin’ hozen who jooglin’ wikket is, by wikket what hozen word mean - some the time ask by hozen what hozen word mean! Bib-Bib nab ink from skreekin’ Ork and make word write for hozen and wikket to learn and no forget.

WORD LIST

Banana - Banana good! Old hozen saying: peel first, eat second. Good saying for eat peel grooks in the kroog.

Beast-Haver - Beast-haver have beast. Beast-haver shoot pew pew with boomstick or thwack-splat with string-ouch! Dikkety dookers when face strong hozen in fair fight.

Chief - Him in charge! You do what him say or grooked in the nook with ouch-maker or boomstick! Whakkin’ brokker when mean but good when give munch or shiny for make gift. Kah Kah Chief of Grookin Hill.

Dook - Big warrior and master of ouch! Have many hozen do war and ravage for them to gork ‘em grookers clean. Want friend-having Dook else him make horker hole in you nibs!

Deadman - Not life-having wikket! Friend-haver with Ork, but some the times florkin’ wikket with Blight. Also, whakkin’ reek like dook! Ookin’ mankers.

Dook-Manker - Him take dook not in dookin’ grounds and put in dook-pile. Good manker use stick for manking. Bad manker use hand and make stinky yuck all over fur.

Dorf - Other wicked wikket, but florkin’ teeny. Friend-haver with Hooman. All beard-haver with tik nibs and grookin’ gorkers.

Hooman - Wicked wikket. Jeekin’ dookers friend-havers with skreekin’ slickie-men Jinyu. Blikkin’ brokkers!

Hork - Not the jeekin’ hork! No want get grooked or blikkered there. Make for big ouch when sit or take a dook.

Hozen - Bib-Bib hozen! ‘Em no wikket - ‘em make smart and strong with ouch-maker and poo-throw. All wikket make scared of hozen ravage incase ‘em dead-make!

Jibnibber - A grookin’ dooker, or brokkin’ blikk jeeker. Skreekin’ jibnibber that horked clean with point-ouch.

Jinyu - Like slickie and hooman flork an ook and make baby. Not friend-having with Hozen but make friend-have with Hooman. Wicked ickin’ blikkers!

Joogler - Boss ookin’ hozen around! Can be Chief or mean grooker with boomstick or else.

Munch - Munch nice for make tummy-ouch stop. Need eat munch two time in day. Two time make number two out dook-hole. Make ravage when no munch.

Nab - Make shiny of grookin’ skreeker you own shiny. Where ravage be florkin’ strong, nab be tik sneak-making.

Ork - Good wikket! Make friend-having with Hozen. Fight wicked wikkets like hooman and dorf. Green like tree but some color of dook, like Chief of ork! Yucky but him not ick.

Panman - Fuzzy but not let hozen pet fuzz. Hozen ookin’ nook-nibbing near panman - most in own clan, but some Ork friend-haver and some Hooman friend-haver! Silly wikket.

Poo - Munch goes in, poo goes out! Best make in dookin’ grounds or on face of florkin’ wicked wikket. Hozen no eat poo. Have tried and not ookin’ good.

Ravage - When no munch, when no slickie or snapper and only dook to eat, Chief-Chief call ravage on wicked wikkets! Hozen strong to nab munch from wikkets for cold days, or if hozen not get munch, many die so no need as much munch. Smart-smart!

Shiny - ooh, shiny! Wikket often have shiny and hozen want for keep and grookin’ look. Some round shiny, some ouch-maker shiny! Can give shiny and get munch back.

Slickie - Good for taste-making and munch, or for bait to make bigger munch like snapper! Wet-livers and slippy for hozen paw. Be tik grookin’ careful when nab slickie.

Snapper - Beast with ookin’ shell. Hide in when hozen want poke with ouch-stick. Make for good munch, but no eat shell!

Stinky - Smell yuck or ick. Dook-manker, munch-rotter, deadman and wicked wikket all stinky. Hozen with poo-fur stinky also.

Torn - Friend of Ork! Like Hozen cept not skreekin’ joogler like clever hozen. No pull torn tail, unless hozen want whacked in the gorker.

Wargen - Sound like hozen but with war! Look like hozen too - big and strong and ookin’ grookers with their horkin’ ouch-makers! Friend-haver with Hooman though. Make hozen sad. Could be having good friends.

END-MAKE

IF LIKE GIVE BIB-BIB SHINY OR MUNCH. THANK HAVING YOU

((The hozen are one of the most endearing Pandaria races, with their oafish charm and (of course) their impenetrable brand of gobbledygook. Partially inspired by the Wandering Isle quest 'Rewritten Wisdoms', I thought attempting to derive a hozen lexicon/encyclopedia would be an interesting exercise.))

((... this is fucking amazing.

Gahaha! Awesome! very good work sadok!

...Wow. I can only imagine the quest texts on the Horde side. lovely, although difficult read, great job!

This Torn give Sadook shiny.

Really funny. Most excellent. Unfortunately we on the Alliance side got stuck with the dull fish people...

This deserves more attention! This stuff is pure gold if you've seen but a small taste of how awesome those hozen can be in-game!

This deserves more attention!

Post it on the official Roleplaying forums perhaps? I would, but all credits to the writer, so i won't.

Brilliant.

Sadok, I actually love you.
I adore the hozen and keep writing stuff involving them. This has made me smile.

Maybe you should share your monkey stories with Sadok? And the community?

He already does

....Oh

The Horde get awesome monkey men and the Alliance get semen.