Kelstenkovsky Co Bounty Board

[Sandros Shvilkovsky]

A pair of posters pinned to walls throughout the streets of Stormwind:

In an act malfeasance, Commander Iriel Silversong has ordered the posters torn down and replaced with slandarous allegations of unfounded nature and an illegitimate condemnation of Kelstenkovsky Co. as "Enemy of the Alliance".

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[Demurral]

Running IC rewards based on people who upset you OOCly? Good luck with that.

[Ixirar]

This is the funniest shit I've seen in ages lmfao

[Sandros Shvilkovsky]

Running IC rewards based on people who upset you OOCly? Good luck with that.

False. You accepted a payment IC and failed to deliver a service within the deadline. Surrender yourself and you may receive the two gold bars for your funeral arrangements luxurious stay at our Underground Relaxation Centre.

Regards,
K-Co "Hospitality Experts" Team

[Demurral]

Running IC rewards based on people who upset you OOCly? Good luck with that.

False. You accepted a payment IC and failed to deliver a service within the deadline. Surrender yourself and you may receive the two gold bars for your funeral arrange-... err, your luxurious stay at our Underground Relaxation Centre.

Regards,
K-Co "Hospitality Experts" Team

False again. Someone clearly missed the emote that night where he left it back on the bar.

[Sandros Shvilkovsky]

Running IC rewards based on people who upset you OOCly? Good luck with that.

False. You accepted a payment IC and failed to deliver a service within the deadline. Surrender yourself and you may receive the two gold bars for your funeral arrange-... err, your luxurious stay at our Underground Relaxation Centre.

Regards,
K-Co "Hospitality Experts" Team

False again. Someone clearly missed the emote that night where he left it back on the bar.

We see you have truly earned your title, Prince.

[Demurral]

Most likely. You spelt Deceit wrong, by way.

[kelstena]

Hi Kelten, I will be writing to Blizz Edward himself to retrieve a log of that night's communication so we can ascertain whether or not you are lying. (We don't have to do this because we are certain you are, but because we are a fair and scrupulous organisation we will follow the law to the letter)

Upon receipt of the transactional conversational log we will execute the warrant for your arrest we have already drafted.

Sincerely,
Kelstenkovsky Co Department of Judicial Relations, Punitive Activities and Dweeb Detection.

[Sandros Shvilkovsky]

Most likely. You spelt Deceit wrong, by way.

Kindest critic,

We regret to inform you that you have failed to grasp the vernacularic nuance of the indeed correctly spelled word "deciet". But do not panic, Kelstenkovsky Co Education and Training Department has already dispatched our Corporate Elementary School leaflets to your personal postbox. In light of your evidently dire need for our top-grade mentoring services, we are happy to also include a 50% discount coupon for the Mandatory Bodily Orifice Examination that you must take before enrolling.

Best Wishes,
K-Co

[Demurral]

Most likely. You spelt Deceit wrong, by way.

Kindest critic,

We regret to inform you that you have failed to grasp the vernacularic nuance of the indeed correctly spelled word "deciet". But do not panic, Kelstenkovsky Co Education and Training Department has already dispatched our Corporate Elementary School leaflets to your personal postbox. In light of your evidently dire need for our top-grade mentoring services, we are happy to also include a 50% discount coupon for the Mandatory Bodily Orifice Examination that you must take before enrolling.

Best Wishes,
K-Co

*Checks a dictionary.*
*looks back at the poster, with "deciet".*
*checks dictionary yet again.*


No... I'm pretty sure its Deceit. I can offer you a good dictionary. It might help you guys.

[Iriel Silversong]

I'm not sure how should I consider these bounties would they be ic? Well there goes a cop
rp or aron on the boards of guards ....

[kelstena]

No offencir Iriel Silversong but would you also like a voucher for our elementary dialectic introduction class?

In answer to the parts of your post that I could understand, yes you should consider them as IC posters due to their existence in the "In Character" section of the website.

Kelten, again you have failed to grasp the fact that Kelstenkovsky Co has evolved into such a powerful and LORDULAR operation that its employees have begun to create their own patois of sorts. Shvilkovsky, my business associate had just explained to you that in Kelstenkovic Patois, Deciet is a valid and perfectly accepted way of spelling the word.

Sincere Regards,
Kelstenkovsky Co Obvious Information Explanation Panel

[Demurral]

So, from I gather...
Anyone who disagrees with you or your guild, whether IC or not, are therefore enemies of the entire group on both fronts. Opinions are therefore considered invalid if the are against your group.

[Adry]

Opinions are therefore considered invalid if the are against your group.

Hit the nail on the head.

LONG LIVE KELSTENKOVSKY CO

[Ixirar]

In order to be considered invalid, they'd also necessarily be considered of insufficient value to warrant a response. These guys have been pretty thorough with responding to everything that has been said to them.

[Sandros Shvilkovsky]

I'm not sure how should I consider these bounties would they be ic? Well there goes a cop
rp or aron on the boards of guards ....

Dearest Entity Silversong,

To elucidate beyond the already majestic response of our Chairman - these advertisements are indeed IC. However, they should be of no official concern to the authorities unless the Stormwind Guard Contingent has been re-purposed to enforce meetings for "friendly chats" over cups of tea and/or the timely arrival of guests at "relaxation centers".

We apologize for the lack of clarity and hope this suffices to dispel any further confussion.

Entirely Yours,
Kelstenkovsky Co Education and Training Department

[Iriel Silversong]

I'm sorry if you didn't understand my post. But let me, I don't need any of your pompous offer dialectic class, please do attend to them yourself.

Therefor alow me to be rude, anyway I dont care. I shall consider your guild going agaisnt the existence of the kingdom and by that logic going against the interests of the Alliance . Considered that, I shall instruct the guard to remove any goods or posters of said corporation from the Kingdom of Stormwind .
Kindly all posters has been removed from the walls of Stormwind. A notice is placed : Warning Kelstenkovsky Co. It has come to the attention of the Guard of Stormwind that you threaten the life's of its citizens .The this is our first and final warning : Attempt said repeated actions and we shall dismantle your corporation .

[Iriel Silversong]

(My phone does a lot of autocorrect . I'm happy it made you work a little.)

[Sandros Shvilkovsky]

Most likely. You spelt Deceit wrong, by way.

Kindest critic,

We regret to inform you that you have failed to grasp the vernacularic nuance of the indeed correctly spelled word "deciet". But do not panic, Kelstenkovsky Co Education and Training Department has already dispatched our Corporate Elementary School leaflets to your personal postbox. In light of your evidently dire need for our top-grade mentoring services, we are happy to also include a 50% discount coupon for the Mandatory Bodily Orifice Examination that you must take before enrolling.

Best Wishes,
K-Co

*Checks a dictionary.*
*looks back at the poster, with "deciet".*
*checks dictionary yet again.*


No... I'm pretty sure its Deceit. I can offer you a good dictionary. It might help you guys.

Most Remorselessly Kind Critic,

It is with great sorrow that we must once again be the bearers of ensaddening news. Upon consulting with the Kelstenkovsky Co. Linquistic Department, we have arrived at the heartbreaking conclusion that you have yet again failed to correctly assimilate within your cerebral cortex the quintessential signifus behind the concept of a "vernacularic nuance". To spare you any further dreadful embarrassment, we beseech you to allow some time for the arrival of our Corporate Elementary School Leaflets and complete at least the preliminary course of the Basic Toddler Program before making any further statements.

Respectfully Yours,
Kelstenkovsky Co Education and Training Department

[Ixirar]

The commander of a single regiment doesn't have the authority to single handedly declare somebody an "enemy to the interests of the alliance", though.

[Sandros Shvilkovsky]

I'm sorry if you didn't understand my post. But let me, I don't need any of your pompous offer dialectic class, please do attend to them yourself.

Therefor alow me to be rude, anyway I dont care. I shall consider your guild going agaisnt the existence of the kingdom and by that logic going against the interests of the Alliance . Considered that, I shall instruct the guard to remove any goods or posters of said corporation from the Kingdom of Stormwind .
Kindly all posters has been removed from the walls of Stormwind. A notice is placed : Warning Kelstenkovsky Co. It has come to the attention of the Guard of Stormwind that you threaten the life's of its citizens .The this is our first and final warning : Attempt said repeated actions and we shall dismantle your corporation .

Dearest Silversong,

Kelstenkovsky Co. PR Department would like to extend you the flower of gratitude for commanding your guards to enhance our publicity. We are happy to announce that you have been granted an honourary seat on our Public Relations Comission effective immediately.

Looking forward to seeing you on our meetings.

Everlastingly devoted,
Kelstenkovsky Co Public Relations Department

[Sandros Shvilkovsky]

The commander of a single regiment doesn't have the authority to single handedly declare somebody an "enemy to the interests of the alliance", though.

The Commander is perfectly entitled to do so if she wishes for Kelstenkovsky Co. funding to be withdrawn from the "Chainmail Bikini" armourer's project she had requested sponsorship for.

[Demurral]

The commander of a single regiment doesn't have the authority to single handedly declare somebody an "enemy to the interests of the alliance", though.

She can, however, choose to ignore the guild and members within due to their general obnoxious and arrogant statements. For those not in the know -these people are just here to troll. They've been moving between several servers and other MMO's, with the only goal being to troll people, disguised as "Modd". They try to use corporate language to belittle and confuse anyone who tries to disagree with them.

[Sandros Shvilkovsky]

The Prince of Deciet strikes once more.

In light of this new information, Kelstenkovsky Co. is willing to overlook the Commander's heinous attempt at malfeasance, as it was clearly made under the indoctrinating influence of Demurral, Monarch of Chicanery.

[Iriel Silversong]

The commander of a single regiment doesn't have the authority to single handedly declare somebody an "enemy to the interests of the alliance", though.

I did not declare them officialy . i do have the right to see them as enemy to the Alliance as they threaten the life's of citizens I am entitled to indeed push actions agaisnt such attempt of harm towards citizens .

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