[A] Kelstenkovsky Co Career Opportunities

Vaell wrote:A clever and well worded troll, but I'm concerned with how much thought has gone into this. If it were one or two posts, I'd have donned a hat and tipped it to you. It just feels like... you're trying a bit too hard to be funny. You should start out with puns next time. Everyone likes puns.

Greetings Vaell,

Upon reviewing your attempt at being witty, Kelstenkovsky Co. is regretfully forced to decline your application for Corporate Comedy Adviser. We hope you understand that this decision is not on personal grounds but simply a rational evaluation of your current competence as such. However, Kelstenkovsky Co. Critical Assets department would like us to extend you a formal encouragement to try again next year when you've had a chance to work on your funniness.

Once again, thank you very much for your interest in Kelstenkovsky Co. Employment and we hope to see you amongst us once you've improved.

Enthusiastically yours,
Kelstenkovsky Co. Ensaddening News Delivery Service

? Umm don't Mod's usually delete rant's about a guild from guild Adverts in registery section?

Hmm..still unsure what this is all about ranting at ?

The roleplay demonstrated by the Kelstenkovsky Co at the council yesterday reminded me of :

hi hello excuse me i really like your guild idea i think it is very interesting and entertaining but i do not appreciate the expression "roleplaying jihad" excuse me but this is obviously racist and cultural appropriation at its greatest i am sorry but please change that and as a lovely brown caramel skinned person of moslemic origins i find that term very offensive that is all for now good bye

haha not really i think this is very cool good luck also the drama is a bit boring tbh as a potential client/customer i would be more interested in joining your cooperation if it had less drama and instead more western capitalist scum themes thank you

I agree with Shaelyssa. The terminology concocted by your literary department is in direct contravention of Kelstenkovsky Co's recently integrated Equal Opportunity Harassment Policy (EOHP) and the Creatively Inspired Bullying Initiative (CIBI).

Greetings Consumers,

I'm not quite sure how that managed to get past our Press Release and Regulation adherence and continuity department however I have taken the individual responsible's details and they are being sent an invite to a stay at our VIP underground relaxation facility, where they will receive a friendly "training programme" to ensure a transgression like this does not occur again.

I have taken the liberty to remove the offending word from the post, thus bringing the corporation back in line with its policies.

I would also like to take this time to address Modd™tooth the friendly neighbourhood moderator and point out to him that we have been nothing but friendly and polite.

In retort to "Jeanpierre" we attended the council meeting yesterday however we did not take part in any of the discussion as we were simply observing the procedures so we can integrate ourselves more effectively the next time a meeting happens. If you are referring to the OOC character named "Mekk" from RR Inc. then I would like to point out that he is in fact a member of RR Inc. and not its competitor in business, Kelstenkovsky Co.

Please consider that for the most part, any LOLLERS and TROLLERS are not connected with Kelstenkovsky Co. in any form.

Thanks for reading,
Thanks,
Kelstenkovsky Co. Thanking Department

It was merely a reference to repeated observations about someone's hair. "Nice hair".

Spoiler:

It was, however, neither a negative nor positive comment but merely a demonstration of my awesome ability to relate it to a video that could be labeled as amusing. (It's all about me! Me!)

A noble endevour indeed, Jean.

And seeing how you are a fellow audiovisual enthusiast, we would like to share the inspiration behind "Nice hair" which we admittedly failed to live up to:

Shaelyssa wrote:less drama and instead more western capitalist scum

Dearest Shaelyssa,

Many thanks for your constructive and good-spirited feedback refreshingly devoid of snide witticisms. Rest assured that Kelstenkovsky Co. is dedicating the entire movement range of its impressively flexible limber region (as demonstrated by our Chairman's immediate compliance with yours and Adry's entirely valid petition) to ensure a decrease in Drama Levels. We guarantee a drop of at least 50% as soon as our Negotiation and Financial Stimuli Teams secure the full cooperation of some of our more humour-depraved business associates and when our Internal Affairs Office purges the final remnants of 1st Corporate Amendment opposition from our own ranks.

Flirtatiously yours,
Kelstenkovsky Co. Drama Management Department

Yeah... I can see why people see this as a good idea, but they fail to see that this is -indeed- a cleverly disguised attempt at trolling. Or, at least, they believe that it's clever. No thank you. What little of them I have seen in-game I don't want to see again. Obvious trolls are obvious.