[A-F] Cult of the Jade Sun

Archmage Arenfel, aged and wise, had served his kingdoms faithfully since the day he learned to wield the arcane with a strong enough proficiency, since then he has joined the Kirin-Tor; enlisted as a battle-mage for Stormwind - and has taken many apprentices to foster.
Returning to the heart of the Alliance - the only point of true civilization in the vast sprawling landscape of Azeroth - Stormwind City, inhaling sharply at the sodomy and sin that had corrupted his fair mother-land. A dark realization came upon him as he walked the streets, long hours passing where his mind would piece together fragments of a plan to return the land to its former state of function and stability.

Fel. Fel was the answer, the tainted and forbidden power cast upon the universe by the Dark Titan's shadow. It came with great price,
oh how the Archmage felt a tinge of fear crawl up his spine like a spider made of frost. It felt right, however. So right, rebirth through Fel. Oh! How it all made sense! Through destruction, rebirth. He would break apart Stormwind, only Stormwind; that made it okay right?
Long hours passed again, even longer long hours - really long hours - so long. He decided... he would start his own cult; and transform!

He would call it "Cult of the Jade Sun", (after a long discussion with his advisors over any possible copyright claims that could be made by similar cults; they tried to avoid using "Dark", "Sphere", "Hand", or really any sort of shade; body part or object in their honourific) as Stormwind would burn when his goal was complete; transforming the great ball of fire that the Elves called "Belore" into a verdant super-weapon to crush Stormwind.

He'd fix it when he was done, of course.

Now, he was no longer Archmage Arenfel; but rather... Archmage-Archdemon-ArchArenfel-ArchSerpentine.

1.You must be level 90.
2.You must have a clear grasp of satire, evil and be able to recite four Disney Villain songs at will. Bonus points for lesser known tracks.
3.You must be able to monologue for at least three paragraphs at any given time, as a handicap for our lesser foes; this is not optional.
4.You must have a sass level of at least 350; and a fashion sense that matches our -EVIL- aesthetic.
5.You must be able to say the title of each appropriate cultist leader, without slipping up.


Archmage-Archdemon-ArchArenfel-ArchSerpentine
- Master of the Arch, capable of summoning great burning archways of verdant flame at any given moment.
Thelozius the Felglutton
- A former Anchorite of the Naaruvaadian religion, Thelos grew irate at his inability to eat or taste pending his rise into undeath. In exchange for helping the Arch-Arch-Arch-Arch with his plans, he has been granted a new - functioning - body; to sate his gluttonous desires.
Rumour has it, small Gnomes are his favourite delicacy - cultists are yet to determine why.
Areyah Conover, the Manhunter
- Famed for her naval escapades, and not her military prowess, the esteemed miss Conover has joined the Jade Sun with a host of Succubi and Shivara at her disposal; the ultimate weapon against the perverse male populace of Stormwind City.
Drustai, THE IMPALED
- Impaled by a sword, nailed to a wall in the cultist HQ. Does nothing but remain impaled, sometimes gives lectures. In truth, her initiation ritual went horribly wrong and nobody has been able to figure out how to remove the sword; any cultist with the appropriate knowledge to remove swords from Draenic breast tissue would be greatly appreciated.
Feral, THE FIERCE
- A non-combat member of the Jade Sun, Feral hosts the common room and acts as a soft comforting dog-like creature that takes care of wounded cultists; morale is important - even for the clinically psychotic!

As my name is on the post, that means I support this. I love cults.

First proper cultist guild since the Dark Sphere.

Don't forget! Our first ritual is coming soon, which involves Alorah Starwhisper hosting a great sun-bathing event in order to prepare our bodies for the coming corruption of the sun.

Please don't sue.

I like this initiative. +1

Arenfel/Mikhael wrote:Don't forget! Our first ritual is coming soon, which involves Alorah Starwhisper hosting a great sun-bathing event in order to prepare our bodies for the coming corruption of the sun.

Please don't sue.

The culmination will be a great ritual orgy at Mjorga's Pleasure Palace.

Read your skype, you idiot and add me to the list already >_>

Looking forward to seeing you guys in action.

So many april fools, my poor head.

I was born on April Fools day, this is my domain, weaklings.

Drustai wrote:

Arenfel/Mikhael wrote:Don't forget! Our first ritual is coming soon, which involves Alorah Starwhisper hosting a great sun-bathing event in order to prepare our bodies for the coming corruption of the sun.

Please don't sue.

The culmination will be a great ritual orgy at Mjorga's Pleasure Palace.

I am in.

I always knew there was something to the "Fel" part in Arenfel's name.

i want this to be real SO BAD :( rofl <3 happy bday miku!!!!!!!!!!!

also im slightly offended that mjorga isnt on the list what is this

Drustai, THE IMPALED
- Impaled by a sword, nailed to a wall in the cultist HQ. Does nothing but remain impaled, sometimes gives lectures. In truth, her initiation ritual went horribly wrong and nobody has been able to figure out how to remove the sword; any cultist with the appropriate knowledge to remove swords from Draenic breast tissue would be greatly appreciated.

Would be worth joining for the delightful decorating style at HQ! xD If only!

This amuses me to no end XD