Recipies!

Brockies/bracken/Its brownies with bacon
-Ingredients-
-one bag off powdered brownie stuff
-bacon

Instructions:
1.Mix the brownie powder into a nice goo in the manner most likely explained on the pack.
2. while doing this you put the bacon down letting it sizzle, either cook it as long stips or make several smaller chopped up pieces.
3. Once the bacon is finnished you pour off the fat from the cooking process and use this to oil the form you are going to be cooking the brownies in.
4. Start pouring the brownie goo into the form, layering it with bacon.
5. leave in the oven for (most likely explained to you on the pack)
6. If you happen to forget how long you have left it in, just check that the top is nice and crisp while the under layer is soft. Stick a fork in it to check.


.......Don't judge me....

Cheyene wrote:He's never tried it, trust me

More than once, if I may add.

More than once, if I may add.

yes alright then.

Helrog wrote:

Cheyene wrote:He's never tried it, trust me

More than once, if I may add.

you've never tried it more than once? eh oh el

Corleth wrote:

Helrog wrote:

Cheyene wrote:He's never tried it, trust me

More than once, if I may add.

you've never tried it more than once? eh oh el

Touché. 1-0 to you, my good sir.

I find it hard to eat creatures I own myself.

Oh you have horses too? Lovely aren't they?
Don't start me off on horses..I'll never shut up.

Dominoes Pizza Recipe

What you need:
- Phone or access to internet.
- Money

Recipe:
- Pick a pizza.
- Pick toppings
- Choose side
- Call / go on website
- Order
- Wait 30 mins
- Pay money

A pretty simplistic dish for those more adept at the art of cuisine.

Bacon Sarny.

Bread
Bacon

Fry 3 bacon rashers for every 2 slices of bread.
Place on buttered bread with braan sauce.

eat your heart out Gordon Ramsay...

Chewing Gum

What you need:
- Branded gum

How to prepare:
- Open gum packet.
- Place gum directly into mouth.
- Chew

One of my dad's recipes this one, passed through the generations.

I know you lot want a laugh of this, but can we stick with some real recipes that people want to share? I'm actually curious about some of these things.

Cid wrote:I know you lot want a laugh of this, but can we stick with some real recipes that people want to share? I'm actually curious about some of these things.

I totally agree with you Cid..

Lox Benedict.
makes a nice late breakfast.

4 poached eggs
2 muffins, split in half
butter
4 oz. Nova lox
1/2 cup hollandaise sauce

Poach 4 eggs to desired doneness.
Toast muffins and butter the four toasted halves
Place 1 oz. of smoked salmon lox onto each muffin.
Place a poached egg on top of each slice of salmon.
Make your hollandaise sauce just before serving
(3 egg yolks
1/4 tsp salt
Pinch of pepper
unsalted butter)
Basically gloop it up in blender having melted the butter first.
Pour 2 tbsp of hollandaise onto each egg.
garnish with dill or parsley.

Nova lox being (kosher) smoked salmon?

The one with a milder cure?

yes thats the one. You can of course use bacon or ham instead of lox and bagels instead of muffins. I often use bagel but theyre too chewy for breakfast.

Nithel wrote:

Ostrich and kangaroo meat.

I read that this morning and thought to myself where the fel am I suppossed to find kangaroo meat in Romania? Without having mentioned it to him, dad just came home from the supermarket with frozen kangaroo steak. I'm a little freaked out ...

Ok, a proper recipe then.

Joe's Perfect Peppercorn Steak

To prepare:
You need;
- Pasta (Tagliatelle works best!)
- Double cream
- Steak (Choose whatever size you like)
- Brandy
- Green peppercorns
- Black pepper
- Salt
- Olive oil


How do I make this beautiful piece of meat?

First off, you get your measuring scales and jugs and you throw them out the closest window. You cook this mother nature by instinct. You can't measure personal preference, some people would prefer it more creamy, others hotter, others more salty. Whatever is the case, this is the way I make the beautiful beast.
|
Cutting the fat off: Essential numero uno step. You can leave the fat on if you wish, but the dish is fatty enough so I personally don't. Simply slice all of the fat off around the steak and leave it to one side to prepare.
|
Chop those peppers: I use red, green and yellow. Fried peppers are the don and they go so well with this dish. If you don't know how to chop peppers properly, google it. You want thin slices (about a third of an inch thick).
|
Cook the pasta: Do this step first because pasta is easy to heat up if you're taking your time on the other parts. Boil some water, put it into a saucepan and when it boils, put your pasta into it. Tagliatelle usually takes me about 7 - 8 minutes. Use a fork to taste it as undercooked pasta ruins food and overcooked turns into baby food. (If you do not like pasta, I've made this with chips for a friend before and that works pretty well too).
|
Pepper the steak: Now, get your ground black pepper and pretty much smother the steak. This will get it a bit hotter and add so much more flavour. Just spread it over it, you can do both sides, I tend not to as you'll be cooking it in the same juices.
|
Olive oil: Spread this onto the pan you have out to cook the steak. Not too much or else your P.Sauce may turn out too oily. Just enough that it covers the pan. Turn up the heal and get it nice and hot!
|
Cooking the steak: Do you like it blue, rare, medium rare, well done? I'll tell you how to do medium rare and you can work out the others from there. I cook medium rare steak for 3 minutes on both sides. Don't overdo it or else you'll end up with well done... obviously!
|
Brandy time: Turn off the cooker first. After you have done so, you'll want to pour a bit of brandy across the steak and then ignite it. Let it burn off, so you're getting rid of the alcohol but keeping the flavour. If you're an alcoholic, this is the point where you may swig from the brandy.
|
Peppercorn Sauce: Remove the steak from the pan and place it onto a serving dish. Keep the pan where it is, turn down the heat a bit as you'll want to let it simmer and pour the double cream into the steak's juices that are left over in the pan. Add your salt now, put in as much as you need, I give it a few pinches. Put green peppercorns - as much as you desire, this adds a high majority of the flavour - into the cream and begin to stir it.
|
Whilst it simmers: Your steak might have leaked some more, so you can pour any of that into the sauce. Meanwhile, put some more olive oil into a different frying pan and place your peppers in. These don't take long to cook, you'll notice they're getting a fair bit darker, so taste one and see if they're at your standard! Check your sauce every ten seconds or so, remembering to stir it and make sure it doesn't curdle.
|
Serving it up: Your pasta has probably been sat waiting for a few minutes. So, if need be, pour some boiling water over it to heat it up (though it should be out of the old boiling water as soon as its cooked). Place your pasta, steak and peppers onto the plate and then pours your sauce over all three. Put any remaining sauce in a jug in the middle in case anyone wants anymore and wala! You've got yourself my personal favorite meal.
|
Results of the dish: If you've made it correctly, you should have a full stomach, a satisfied appetite and a wife/husband offering oral sex for being so good to them. Enjoy!
=========================================================================================================================
I will post up some more italian dishes over the course of time! My dad's side of the family is heavily Italian so I tend to eat a lot of southern Italian food (Tomato based dishes) but I do enjoy northern too!

Teriyaki Chicken on'a Stick

Chicken breast
Teriaky sauce
Rice
Sesame seeds
BBQ sticks

1. Cut the chicken breast into good sized cubes and put them on the bbq stick.

2. Put the oven on 200 degrees.

3. Take oven paper and cover the oven plate with. Pour out the Teriyaki sauce in a bowl of somekind, dip your Chicken sticks in it, make sure they're fully drenched in sauce.

4. Place your sticks on the ovn plate, spread sesame seeds over the chicken. Put into the oven for 20-25min, check so that the chicken is done.

5. Boil your rice meanwhile as it takes different amount of time!

( You can use some tsatsiki to it, makes it jum jum!)

Vaell wrote:Ok, a proper recipe then.

Joe's Perfect Peppercorn Steak

To prepare:
You need;
- Pasta (Tagliatelle works best!)
- Double cream
- Steak (Choose whatever size you like)
- Brandy
- Green peppercorns
- Black pepper
- Salt
- Olive oil


How do I make this beautiful piece of meat?

First off, you get your measuring scales and jugs and you throw them out the closest window. You cook this mother nature by instinct. You can't measure personal preference, some people would prefer it more creamy, others hotter, others more salty. Whatever is the case, this is the way I make the beautiful beast.
|
Cutting the fat off: Essential numero uno step. You can leave the fat on if you wish, but the dish is fatty enough so I personally don't. Simply slice all of the fat off around the steak and leave it to one side to prepare.
|
Chop those peppers: I use red, green and yellow. Fried peppers are the don and they go so well with this dish. If you don't know how to chop peppers properly, google it. You want thin slices (about a third of an inch thick).
|
Cook the pasta: Do this step first because pasta is easy to heat up if you're taking your time on the other parts. Boil some water, put it into a saucepan and when it boils, put your pasta into it. Tagliatelle usually takes me about 7 - 8 minutes. Use a fork to taste it as undercooked pasta ruins food and overcooked turns into baby food. (If you do not like pasta, I've made this with chips for a friend before and that works pretty well too).
|
Pepper the steak: Now, get your ground black pepper and pretty much smother the steak. This will get it a bit hotter and add so much more flavour. Just spread it over it, you can do both sides, I tend not to as you'll be cooking it in the same juices.
|
Olive oil: Spread this onto the pan you have out to cook the steak. Not too much or else your P.Sauce may turn out too oily. Just enough that it covers the pan. Turn up the heal and get it nice and hot!
|
Cooking the steak: Do you like it blue, rare, medium rare, well done? I'll tell you how to do medium rare and you can work out the others from there. I cook medium rare steak for 3 minutes on both sides. Don't overdo it or else you'll end up with well done... obviously!
|
Brandy time: Turn off the cooker first. After you have done so, you'll want to pour a bit of brandy across the steak and then ignite it. Let it burn off, so you're getting rid of the alcohol but keeping the flavour. If you're an alcoholic, this is the point where you may swig from the brandy.
|
Peppercorn Sauce: Remove the steak from the pan and place it onto a serving dish. Keep the pan where it is, turn down the heat a bit as you'll want to let it simmer and pour the double cream into the steak's juices that are left over in the pan. Add your salt now, put in as much as you need, I give it a few pinches. Put green peppercorns - as much as you desire, this adds a high majority of the flavour - into the cream and begin to stir it.
|
Whilst it simmers: Your steak might have leaked some more, so you can pour any of that into the sauce. Meanwhile, put some more olive oil into a different frying pan and place your peppers in. These don't take long to cook, you'll notice they're getting a fair bit darker, so taste one and see if they're at your standard! Check your sauce every ten seconds or so, remembering to stir it and make sure it doesn't curdle.
|
Serving it up: Your pasta has probably been sat waiting for a few minutes. So, if need be, pour some boiling water over it to heat it up (though it should be out of the old boiling water as soon as its cooked). Place your pasta, steak and peppers onto the plate and then pours your sauce over all three. Put any remaining sauce in a jug in the middle in case anyone wants anymore and wala! You've got yourself my personal favorite meal.
|
Results of the dish: If you've made it correctly, you should have a full stomach, a satisfied appetite and a wife/husband offering oral sex for being so good to them. Enjoy!
=========================================================================================================================
I will post up some more italian dishes over the course of time! My dad's side of the family is heavily Italian so I tend to eat a lot of southern Italian food (Tomato based dishes) but I do enjoy northern too!

Have my fat babies....

surely this can double as a food porn thread? gonna post some proper XXX rated naked tofu for all my veg*n homies out there (shae i see u brother) as im too lazily to type up recipes and shit sorry xx xx

Spoiler:

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S/O TO ALL THE SMALL LITTLE JAPANESE GRANNIES GRINDING AND MAKING SUSHI GO VEGAN

My mouth is watering, Corleth.

i bet that's not the only thing watering huh ;}

corleth would love some of those recipes ... are the recipes all up on veganlisa's tumblr or is it all just pics?

Shaelyssa wrote:i bet that's not the only thing watering huh ;}

Don't be disgusting!

Corleth, those meals need more meat!

Vaell wrote:Corleth, those meals need more meat!

why would perfectly good, healthy, wholesome meals need to be tarnished by the cholesterol-inducing unnecessary cooked flesh of an innocent animal raised only to be brutalized and kept in despicable conditions and then killed by a bolt through the head? to sate your momentary pleasure? bitch please