Bob's Tale one!

This place feels so empty, and looking through the folders of my laptop as i was cleaning it up, I found this piece I wrote in 2008, after a night of heavy drinking, just as I came home, as drunk as a duck.

Bob is and always was a strange fellow. But ever since his drastic change, he became the ultimate laughing stock of the community. What used to be strange looks, and misunderstood rhetoric changed into gruesome incomprehensible hostility. His fellow members were gnawing, snarling and sometimes even howling at him. It was a weird sensation, if you could call it that. Turning from the strange kid on the block into the ultimate outcast. Which was strange since normally in the lands of the dull and mindless, the oldest hold power and respect and Bob certainly was older then the rest, after having grown up in a quiet suburban town with his own herbal garden, his own apple and pear trees, growing his own vegetables to his hearths content. He always kept a low profile, rather unhappy over his working status, his father and two siblings consisting of a butcher, a hunter and a farmer... Well the apple fell rather far from the tree. If this was the result of a harsh wind, or because Newton’s observation didn’t apply to every single piece of fruit is still under debate.

Bob’s own unfortunate occupation was working in the veterinarians office, and his usual work consisted of putting to sleep animals. Even though he tried to argue the owners out of the sheer thought and onto watching the poor beast die in agony, it was in vain. He was a strange, in jute dressed, man, born in the wrong family and most probably in the wrong time with the accident and everything. Yet still, in all his misfortune and bad luck he was content, cause in essence he could be who he wanted to be. But then inevitably it happened. On December 21th 2012, the dreadful plague broke out. It swept across the land, and only the paranoia had predicted it. Sixty years of movie making and book writing couldn’t have prevented this. It wasn’t dawn, not noon, neither dusk nor night. No it was exactly three seventeen pm and forty-two seconds, give or take a few milliseconds, microseconds, nanoseconds, picoseconds and femtoseconds. Some claimed that it were 7 attoseconds. But lets not dwindle in trivialities, this tale is about Bob after all!

Anyway at the exact time of the happening, metaphorical hell broke lose for every atheist on the planet, and the actual hell for the rest. It was the night were a select group of paranoid dull twenty and thirty year olds hid all over the planet, in the Winchester pub, in the mall, an old barricaded house and even skyscrapers. They were safe, and prepared with their emergency rations, their ammunitions, and their vast scale of different guns depending on how resourceful or paranoid people were. From flamethrowers to home-made gattling guns, firing high pressured silver and wooden projectiles. The ones that were unprepared sheltered with the others in the hope of survival. But as I was saying, Bob our valiant distraught protagonist was an elder. That means he was part of the first slaughter. But why you ask? That’s rather a simple assessment to make given prior information.

But you’d think! Its over now, Bob the strange veterinarian with his garden full of food and grand arsenal of lethal injections turned into a vicious flesh devouring brain dead part of the living dead, commonly revered as the ordinary Zombie. But with Bob something went awry. You see, he kept one single part of his former individuality besides his bland and dull now rotting appearance. He kept his prior view to life. The same problem that left him out of the preparations, the same problem that made him the strange man he became. The same problem that let a middle aged man with a decent income wearing nothing but jute and eating his food half rotten after the season had passed.

You see instead of turning into the monstrous raging always hungry beast, he turned into a pacified, weak, blood-depleted, ill conserved, filthy scavenger. Bob turned into a Veganist Zombie.

I loled. Poor bob.