Re: The vent thread

by **Lyniath** Mon Nov 21, 2011 1:13 pm

I'm melting down over the right time to open up to my parents about my trans-ness.
They were so mean last time!

by **Drustai** Mon Nov 21, 2011 2:50 pm

Lyniath wrote:I'm melting down over the right time to open up to my parents about my trans-ness.
They were so mean last time!

Good luck with it, I know how hard it can be.

Hope it goes well, when you do.

by **corleth** Mon Nov 21, 2011 4:31 pm

Lyniath wrote:I'm melting down over the right time to open up to my parents about my trans-ness.
They were so mean last time!

best of luck. I hope they're understanding.

by **Lyniath** Mon Nov 21, 2011 5:05 pm

The problem is, they aren't.
Last year they found out, and shouted a lot, called me names, blamed the Internet as usual. It became so unbearable I eventually had them think it was just a phase.
Which was a bad idea in hindsight.

by **Lyv** Mon Nov 21, 2011 5:16 pm

The more proof if you come up with it again now that it -isn't- a phase. I don't know if you have some kind of counsellor or other third party that could help you out with explaining what it's all about and how it doesn't have anything to do with the internet (god knows I would be going through the same stuff if it did). Confronting them with another authority might just work.

I wish you lots of good luck!

by **Lyniath** Mon Nov 21, 2011 5:23 pm

I used to have a school counsellor, but although he was a nice guy, he wasn't that helpful.
There was also the LGBT group down the other side of town, they were nice, but I was pulled out after one group session and two one-on-one, because my parents didn't want me going. I was also the only trans there, and my mum thought it was only for gays, ignorant as she is.
I'm really scared, but I want to start treatment asap.

by **Morinth** Mon Nov 21, 2011 5:26 pm

REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU LILLEH. Very Happy

Show dem who's da' girl. 'Cause we women know what we want, right?!

by **Drustai** Mon Nov 21, 2011 5:28 pm

Lyniath wrote:I used to have a school counsellor, but although he was a nice guy, he wasn't that helpful.
There was also the LGBT group down the other side of town, they were nice, but I was pulled out after one group session and two one-on-one, because my parents didn't want me going. I was also the only trans there, and my mum thought it was only for gays, ignorant as she is.
I'm really scared, but I want to start treatment asap.

Try calling that group, see if they can point you to a good, LGBT friendly psychiatrist--assuming in your area you need to get the psych therapy before you can start seeing a doctor.

If not, then try looking online for one. "LGBT-friendly psychiatrist in X city" or something.

As far as your parents go, you just need to keep at it until they realize that it's who you are. If you're closer to one than the other, try talking to that person one-on-one, get him/her to understand, and then they can help support you in talking to the other. If they're both utterly unrelenting, you'll need to see about possibly moving somewhere else.

Try looking up resources from sites like TSroadmap. Some of them can provide you with resources you can show your parents to help them understand it better.

by **Lyniath** Mon Nov 21, 2011 5:34 pm

I was intending on waiting until I moved out to Holland, but i don't want to leave it too late.
Not sure what the system is here regarding psychiatry, should be something to look up.

Oh yeah, and I saw that site yesterday ^^

by **Drustai** Mon Nov 21, 2011 5:37 pm

Yes, you should looking into transition where you are, -and- look into it where you go. Because there might be issues trying to transition in a place where you aren't a citizen.

For example, I'm moving to Sweden soon, but they have a very annoying system that, even if you've previously been on hormone treatment, requires you to stop for a whole -year- and go through their psych stuff before you can get prescriptions for it again. Not to mention not allowing you to do SRS or name change without being a citizen. Still trying to figure out a way to get around that that doesn't involve getting illegal pills and so on.

So, make sure you fully understand the process both where you live now and where you want to live.

by **Lyniath** Mon Nov 21, 2011 5:40 pm

Yeah...
I'll look into that after dinner. Hopefully Dutch law is lenient in this regard.

Oh, and you're already taking the drugs? What's it like?

by **Drustai** Mon Nov 21, 2011 5:45 pm

Lyniath wrote:Yeah...
I'll look into that after dinner. Hopefully Dutch law is lenient in this regard.

Oh, and you're already taking the drugs? What's it like?

Been on them for nearly two years now.

They're very slow, and the changes are very subtle. The major things you'll find is your personality will mellow out a lot, sexual drive will probably go down, if you have acne it'll more or less completely cure it, and you'll eventually stop producing semen.

by **Morinth** Mon Nov 21, 2011 5:50 pm

Drustai wrote:
Lyniath wrote:Yeah...
I'll look into that after dinner. Hopefully Dutch law is lenient in this regard.

Oh, and you're already taking the drugs? What's it like?

Been on them for nearly two years now.

They're very slow, and the changes are very subtle. The major things you'll find is your personality will mellow out a lot, sexual drive will probably go down, if you have acne it'll more or less completely cure it, and you'll eventually stop producing semen.

YOU DISCOVERED THE CURE FOR ACNE? :O

by **Lyniath** Mon Nov 21, 2011 5:53 pm

Drustai wrote:
Lyniath wrote:Yeah...
I'll look into that after dinner. Hopefully Dutch law is lenient in this regard.

Oh, and you're already taking the drugs? What's it like?

Been on them for nearly two years now.

They're very slow, and the changes are very subtle. The major things you'll find is your personality will mellow out a lot, sexual drive will probably go down, if you have acne it'll more or less completely cure it, and you'll eventually stop producing semen.

I could do with some mellowing out ^^;;;
briefly looked up, seems the only problem so far is that Dutch law doesn't let you legally change your identity until after surgery.

by **Drustai** Mon Nov 21, 2011 5:55 pm

Morinth wrote:
Drustai wrote:
Lyniath wrote:Yeah...
I'll look into that after dinner. Hopefully Dutch law is lenient in this regard.

Oh, and you're already taking the drugs? What's it like?

Been on them for nearly two years now.

They're very slow, and the changes are very subtle. The major things you'll find is your personality will mellow out a lot, sexual drive will probably go down, if you have acne it'll more or less completely cure it, and you'll eventually stop producing semen.

YOU DISCOVERED THE CURE FOR ACNE? :O

Yes. Anti-testosterone pills are sometimes prescribed for severe acne sufferers, even males.

Testosterone is one of the major causes of acne.

by **corleth** Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:03 pm

Loose acne and loose semen, or keep acne and keep semen? It's too difficult a choice! Mad

by **Eowale** Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:17 pm

Drustai wrote:I'm moving to Sweden soon, but they have a very annoying system that, even if you've previously been on hormone treatment, requires you to stop for a whole -year- and go through their psych stuff before you can get prescriptions for it again. Not to mention not allowing you to do SRS or name change without being a citizen. Still trying to figure out a way to get around that that doesn't involve getting illegal pills and so on.

You have no fucking clue. I was literally waiting FOUR FUCKING YEARS to even get to a nurse and get my goddamn ADD medicine.
And you know the reason? I turned 18. Since I turned 18, I was seen as a adult. Meaning, I had to go through ALL OF THOSE TWO YEARS OF TREATMENT AGAIN.
God, you have no idea. I had to go through the same tests for my body, blood tests over and over, weight, height and that sort of thing. Had to sit through those same fucking meetings with my parents, where they went on how bad I did during the 1-9th grade, how I refused to sit still, how I never paid attention. It was the same thing over and over, and it was always as embarassing. Not only that, but during the ENTIRE FUCKING SUMMER of those four years, they didn't take in people for examination. I don't know why. I don't. That's like a fourth of the year gone that could have helped me. Now Im at the last year of High School and I'm on the meds. They work, but I still need to find that exact dosage of the drug, that perfect match with my body, since it's diffrent for every person. My results in school have been utterly shite due to my ADD and all of this retarded system that Drustai spoke of.

by **Lyniath** Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:25 pm

Drusty, can you add me on skype?
Would be nice to have someone to talk to who can help with this stuff and is going through it themselves.

by **Ave/Sariella** Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:46 pm

I've had shit experiences all around with these systems aswell.
Some being with doctors not knowing shit all of what some medicines would do to me and then worst of all, nothing to do with meds but i waited for 3 months to get an xray or something and then never getting an answer about it, yay. Then we went to a private hospital and everything was done within a decent month or so.

by **Shaelyssa** Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:47 pm

*hugs Lily* You're so brave, Lily Smile

, you're incredible!!!! I really hope it goes well for you!!! I'd be too chicken to come out to my dad about something like that :p

by **Lyniath** Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:50 pm

I'm not brave!
I'm absolutely terrified of coming out to my parents, I'm only considering cos I need to stop punishing myself.

by **Rmuffn** Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:50 pm

Drustai wrote:

For example, I'm moving to Sweden soon,

What!? Stay away! No squids allowed! D:

by **Drustai** Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:55 pm

Lyniath wrote:Drusty, can you add me on skype?
Would be nice to have someone to talk to who can help with this stuff and is going through it themselves.

Added.

Though I prefer MSN if you have it. I never use Skype unless people want me to get on.

by **Lyniath** Mon Nov 21, 2011 6:59 pm

I have msn but rarely use it.
Tho actually, I use Ebuddy a lot...

Try add Cuddlywitch@live.com

by **Drustai** Mon Nov 21, 2011 7:08 pm

Lyniath wrote:I have msn but rarely use it.
Tho actually, I use Ebuddy a lot...

Try add Cuddlywitch@live.com

Added.

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