Poems

Here I will post some poems written from the POV of my characters. Perhaps also a few originals that seem to fit them.


For Lyv.

Dust covers these empty hallways
of my being. I linger in doorways
of decisions, for what am I
if not a creature of the evening
and the morrow, the grey tile
of the threshold, laying invisible
but visibly worn under the ever

open or closed. A book without start
or finish, I am the bindings
that will last when all else diminish'd.

This does not displease Lex

Haiku's for Yrn

Pebble scathes my mind
breaking my surface ponder.
Undercurrent kills.


Twigs bristle the air
vying for a last caress
to fall far and fast.

Poetry! You're talented, I must say. I am the bindings/that will last when all else diminish'd is a striking ending to that one.

My thanks for the compliments. They make me awfully shy but it is appreciated!

For Ava.

I do not break on the coastline
my waves will crash down your walls
flood the sight of your eyes
as you cling on breathless and cold;

I give no comfort
but at best I can make a dead man feel alive again.

I sink while I swim.

(Don't judge that which you cannot hold.)

--

T'is the beating against my chest
of my old lover that rakes me
the unforgettable thump that sets through
every new sensation, my laughter and breathing
black and blue by his disbelief

of me. I give the people what they want
to see, give myself what I need. Living
is an empty accusation of going somewhere
yet I can only see where I've been leaving.
No other man's beating can hurt me,

I am cruelly free.

Original - For Lyv.


i love this evening
it is so quiet, so cool
i feel the damp dawn that awaits
in dark, dreaming nightdreams of day

yet my sight is stillness;
leaves shuddering in
a loop like my breath, endlessly trapped
in a wildly freeing moment.


Original - For Yrn.


it never does stop
for others will be the only witness
to your quiet drop
of breath, putting it behind

their lasting ones
archiving it on
a slab of stone, a
token to their own-

but do not mind it. it
is them living it out;
what you have not known
for you it did not start.

I know this isn't exactly a poetry critique type place, so ignore me if y'wish, but I just had a thought.

I love the lines leaves shuddering in/
a loop like my breath, endlessly trapped.

Such lovely imagery!

but finishing it with in a wildly freeing moment somewhat confused me. 'Leaves shuddering in' makes me thing of a soft, slow, deep kind of idea, and then throwing it into the idea of 'wildly freeing'... I'm just not quite sure what's meant to be conveyed in the last line.

Still, well, smashing poetry, best I've seen on a forum in ages.

Valerias wrote:I know this isn't exactly a poetry critique type place, so ignore me if y'wish, but I just had a thought.

I love the lines leaves shuddering in/
a loop like my breath, endlessly trapped.

Such lovely imagery!

but finishing it with in a wildly freeing moment somewhat confused me. 'Leaves shuddering in' makes me thing of a soft, slow, deep kind of idea, and then throwing it into the idea of 'wildly freeing'... I'm just not quite sure what's meant to be conveyed in the last line.

Still, well, smashing poetry, best I've seen on a forum in ages.

Anyone's who's interested enough in my poetry to read and critique it properly is more than welcome!

The thing you're pointing out is actually where I was looking to make a paradox. Endless versus moment, trapped versus freeing. I ment to convey how such a quiet, tranquil repetivity can feel so boundless at the same time, and make one aware in silent realisation of all one's possibilities - freedom. Much like leaves rushing in a tree can seem soft, slow and deep like you said, while at the same time quite wild and untamed.

I don't know if I'm making much sense here. I wrote this at night, trying to put to words what I saw and felt as I looked out the window. The best explanation will always remain in the poem itself, and it might just be different for everyone.

Spoiler:

For Ava.

Yeah I live my life straight-
forward, like a blade striking between yer eyes
while you are distracted looking down -
a last sweet image for your mind,

my crooked smile is my own.

I get around, y'know more
rolling-like, I ain't no feather you can blow about
though I might let ya get a lil' closer
and remind me how soft I can feel like

'caus I'm hardened like a broken mirror.

An' people know me by name, I
never met them before.
They wanna take me places, when alone
call me a whore, and tha's just

the way it goes: there ain't no light
that dun cause a shadow.

Spoiler:

This one definitely gives me an idea of Ava's character. The straight/ forward, like a blade striking

is a smashing beginning, sets out the tone and the type of narrative we're going to get.

Hrm, I'm musing on how I feel about accents written out in poems.

It's not that it's bad (I ah, use them copiously on one character in RP), but I kind of think that the language detracts from the poignancy of the poem.

On the other hand... who is this Ava person, she sounds awesome and I want to meet her :p

Rohwyn wrote:
This one definitely gives me an idea of Ava's character. The straight/ forward, like a blade striking

is a smashing beginning, sets out the tone and the type of narrative we're going to get.

Hrm, I'm musing on how I feel about accents written out in poems.

It's not that it's bad (I ah, use them copiously on one character in RP), but I kind of think that the language detracts from the poignancy of the poem.

On the other hand... who is this Ava person, she sounds awesome and I want to meet her :p

I agree with your critique. While this poem gives the best idea of Ava's character yet, I've started to dislike it more and more over the past few days. Since as a poem, it's really not that good. Must write something better in the coming few days!

She is quite awesome though. Yet another reason to come drop by the Pig 'n Whistle ;)

Write more poems, per favore.

My muse has not been kind to me lately. Posting this for the sake of things.


Altered original for Ava.

What should I take off
first from, over my head?
What else do you want to hear
if I stand here in - nude soul
heart skinhidden over
bloodridden ribs?
What else can I get
from, in my head

I can never be more barren without the wrapping
than I am within;

the world is my bed
you just happen to share.

Spoiler:

For Lyv.

Look, there is frost flowering
from the tree - spring
has never been as far and as
near. There is moss powdering
from my sleeve, dried silverleaf
crumbles beneath my skin-

and I cannot stand this. This -
so much I cannot touch, cannot see
an unearthed treasure under
my feet, surging lonely
a love, a knowledge, a power
I must have it all

knowing that once I do
it will be the end of me.

Spoiler:

I'm glad to have seen Ava IC, gives me more insight into her poems - but even without that 'the world is my bed/you just happen to share' - smashing line.

Still thinking over the latest Lyv poem, will get back to you.

Original for Ava.
to a certain someone

clasp my cloak with your hand, demand me
to show my stubbornness
for your smoldering grasp
does not withhold my wandering

feelings. give me struggle
or i will find vivid images in my head
answering to the voids between your fingers
a danger i cannot withstand