A Lady and Her Ape

For your delight, a ribald jape
about a Lady and her ape.
Of noble birth was the dame,
her family was of well known name.
And as so many of her class,
oft the days she would pass
with head in books, with needle, thread;
but lonely nights upon her bed.

For her father was a frightful bore,
he feared his kin be named "A whore".
So he bought for her a dog, a cat;
a pony, hawk, this and that.
Things to keep to keep her company,
and to that end; a hairy monkey.

This became her soul's delight.
No longer dreamt she of her Knight;
no longer did she suitors yearn.
In fact, most company did she spurn.
Her family, friends, soon were shun;
a constant pal, this hairy one.
In those times her laughter rang,
her handmaid said "her heart it sang".

But what was it that kept her happy
about this hirsute simian chappy?
Was it just how he ook't and eek't,
or round the castle gaily leaped?

My audience would like to know
that the answer to this was thus far a "no".
For where would be the humour so,
if sweetly innocent was the show
between the lady pure and fair
and the one of tail and hair?

Never fear, for here's the truth:
under nightfall's starry roof
the maiden would shout, exclaim and squeal
as the monkey stood erect, to peel
the fruit he held within his hand;
large, it curved, and was quite grand.
With his gift he would advance
to offer her a treat, a chance.
Her lips she licked, then was ready;
grabbed the sheets, herself to steady.
There it was, not quite a yard
and thus she smiled and bit down hard.

I hope you've found this all a hoot;
the monkey, and his special fruit.

Morgaan wrote:Wow this made me and my boyfriend who is now at my side laugh so hard that we can barely bread ! XD

Mandui wrote:hahahaah awesome xD

Morgaan wrote:Wow this made me and my boyfriend who is now at my side laugh so hard that we can barely bread ! XD

....

aaaahahahahah x'D

Edit: I'm sorry, that's probably a typo for breathe but one could see it as a typo for breed too

lmao