17. Retracing Steps

Fenuviel stood leaning over the railing that protected citizens from the Great Forge in the center of the Dwarven capital. The heat did little to soothe his nerves, but was a welcome change from the chilled air that had carried him there. After some time, the sound of metal clapping against the stones met his ears. Of course, there were many footsteps and murmurs in the great city, but these he knew. Thayill Daggerwind. Obedient to his call. He turned to face her, bearing a small, bittersweet smile.

"Thayill..." he murmured as he heard his own name called. Thayill returned the smile, but her eyes were always sad. He knew why. They both knew. It was something neither of them could solve. "I need you to do a favour for me..." he murmured softly.
"What is it...?" she questioned, perhaps a bit confused as to why Fenuviel had called her there. It wasn't his usual haunt, that was certain.
"I need you to take a gryphon to Menethil harbour, and wait for me there,"
"Menethil...?" she frowned slightly.
"We are going to retrace our steps, you and I... we're going back," Fenuviel answered with a strange smile. "But I need you to promise me one thing,"
"A-Alright..."
"Whatever you hear, do not listen. Do not worry, just wait for me there. Just know that I will be with you soon,"
"Is everything alright...?"
"Just don't worry," Fenuviel urged her, taking her hands briefly. Thayill gave a slight nod, weary and trying to shake off the sluggishness of alcohol, but acknowledging.
"Menethil, eh...?" she replied as she turned towards the Gryphon master, a sturdy, alert dwarf. Fenuviel kept his eyes upon her as she walked, seeing as she turned back towards him, her lips parted. She drew in a breath as though to speak, but stopped and turned away again towards the dwarf. Their words he could not hear, but waited until she had left to approach the master as well. As he waited for a gryphon to be brought to him, he cast a glance around the city quickly before climbing into the saddle. It was the kind of look one gives when they know they will not return to the location in quite some time. This wasn't unusual necessarily, given that the observer was Fenuviel and the location was Ironforge. The Elf did not often visit the city anymore. It was the dwarves that could have saved him so long ago and on so many occasions, but had never taken the opportunity. It was simply a place of unreachable possibilities and painful memories now.

* * *

Fenuviel instead found himself at the Stonewrought Dam in Loch Modan. A place of memories far worse than those tied to Ironforge. A place of death, sorrow, confusion. A strong breeze wound about him, whipping his hair out behind him and into his face from time to time. Perhaps it seemed the wind simply rocked him slightly, but upon looking closely, the Elf was trembling just a bit. He had sent a letter to Shagrath demanding his presence. He needed to speak with him urgently. This much was true, though even the thought of Shagrath's presence made him shudder. The exact reason behind it was perhaps uncertain. It was not long before he heard footsteps approaching once again. These were not the same harsh clap of metal upon stone though, but Fenuviel tensed.

"Fenuviel, we have found a way for you to leave..." a voice spoke. Fenuviel grinned slightly, giving a bitter, wicked little laugh.
"Leave...? Yes, I'm going to leave, master..." he murmured. The man was quiet for a moment, as though thinking Fenuviel perhaps knew already what he was going to say. Fenuviel raised a hand, beckoning him closer as he turned to face him. His eyes fell upon Shagrath.

"I called you here on an urgent matter, Shagrath," he murmured. A quiet word was spoken, trying to interrupt him. A protest perhaps? "For as long as I can remember, I have cared about you, even though I shouldn't. I wanted to save you. It is hollow obsession now, but it is unbearable... I hate you for what you have done, no one can deny I have every right to kill you, master," Fenuviel hissed slightly. There was a moment of silence from the one he looked upon. He could feel surprise when there should be none. Shagrath knew this all already. Perhaps Fenuviel had never said before that he wished to kill him, he wasn't even certain that he did, but surely Shagrath had guessed he might. That he had a right to try or want it.

"You have given me the final insult... the final test. There can be no more. It is unbearable. Some day you will wish to know what it is to care for someone and be loved in return, but never again will you have such an opportunity. Monster... For the safety of everyone, I must do this," Fenuviel continued. Though his eyes rested upon the figure, they were unfocused. His words slightly muddled as though in a dream. However, his next gesture was perfectly practiced. He reached down, sliding a dagger out of his boot and holding it up. The figure retreated slightly, and it was then that Fenuviel realized there were two. A hooded figure stood just beyond, and seeing the dagger, whispered a soft blessing, a translucent shield of protection appearing before Fenuviel's apparent victim.

"No! Fenuviel! It isn't Shagrath, it is me, Melnerag!" Shagrath cried. But the words meant nothing to Fenuviel. Before him Shagrath remained. No words or spells could break the illusions of insanity. Fenuviel simply grinned faintly.

"Someday... you'll wonder..." he whispered. In a quick motion, the blade flashed in the light, hitting its mark. The shield was futile, for it found itself wedged through Fenuviel's own armor, driven into his stomach. The Elf hunched slightly, his face beginning to twist in pain as he looked up from the blade to Shagrath's face, meeting the gaze in a brief moment before he slipped from the dam, his body plummeting.

Melnerag, not Shagrath, and Syskae called out as the Myrmidon's body disappeared into the mist below. Hidden in Melnerag's pouch was the letter that had been sent to Shagrath; it had never reached him.

* * *

Fenuviel tumbled through the air. Was it strange that he had unconsciously chosen a spot where he might fall the same way Thayill had? She had survived after all, but few knew of her jumping at all.

You have driven me to this, master... You said that your usual method of teaching would not have worked, but I would have preferred it... Running me through with your own blade would have had the same effect... don't you see?

Someday you'll wonder... Some day you will regret this. I am capable of anything, and so surely you too must be capable of love... No matter how improbable.... Unobtainable. I have survived all your lessons, I only do this now for your safety... For everyone's safety...
I am stronger than you; if only you were not afraid to gamble your heart, you would realize the reward.[/i]

A crash of water exploded about him as his body hit the water. It thundered about him, pulling his body down and away from the dam, following the current, but his form was limp. A flicker of life remained, but he was forced into unconsciousness from the impact with lake. He drifted for a time, unconsciously gripping the dagger that had torn his flesh as though it held his own life force with him. It would be his life and death, this was for certain, though he would not reveal how it would continue to let him live. Not yet.

* * *

Thayill tore across the marsh upon her frostsaber, Fang. The voices of the Sphere shattered the calm of the world. Shouting, yet no one else could hear them. The sentries stared in wonder as she rode past them in a panic, speaking to no one.

Fenuviel fell. Jumped. No one could survive that fall.

Dead. He is dead.

Fenuviel is dead.

Such words were enough to drive Thayill to her own death, surely. That was why he had to find her, before the lie seemed truth.

Thayill paused, as along the path many smaller tributaries wove their way from the river leading out to sea. The foliage was parted near one of the smaller pools, bending as a figure crawled along the ground, clawing at the earth in a feeble attempt to escape the water. Thayill dismounted promptly and began to approach him.

"That was one step you probably shouldn't have retraced," she chided. Fenuviel almost chuckled, but it came out as a hacking cough. The pale Elf grunted, using the last of his energy to push himself onto his back with a hiss of pain. The wound revealed. Thayill's eyes flashed slightly and she drew closer, removing her gloves quickly and tossing them aside. She lifted them, holding them out over Fenu's body, palms down, and began to speak urgently in Darnassian, a touch of green light gathering at her fingertips. To her surprise, Fenuviel seemed upset by this. He gritted his teeth, once again gathering what little strength he had to lash out, grabbing one of her wrists roughly to interrupt the spell.
"No! Don't! You must let this take its course..." Fenuviel pleaded. Thayill frowned, slowly sinking down to kneel at her friend's side. Her brows were furrowed in a mixture of concern and confusion, her eyes flickering swiftly towards the bleeding gash before returning to Fenu's face. "They will know, Thayill... they can still hear my thoughts, my mind... they must hear it go quiet to believe for sure..." he whispered. Thayill peered at him for a moment in silence, as though trying to make sense of this while hoping it did not mean what it seemed to. "Can you bring me back, Thayill...?"
"Y-You want me to let you die?" Thayill asked, blinking as she drew back a bit in surprise. "Fenu, I.."
"By doing so you will free me, Thayill. If they believe me dead, then I will be free. Can you bring me back, Thayill?" Fenu pressed again, his voice weak. He could never have simply abandoned his master. Shagrath knew all those that Fenuviel cared for, and would surely cut them down to punish him if he were so bold to try to leave the Sphere.
"I can't let you die, Fenuviel...!" Thayill whimpered, unable to prevent tears from running down her cheeks. Fenuviel gritted his teeth slightly, reaching up to grip her hand, giving it a squeeze.
"Can you do it?" he nearly shouted, or snapped as loudly as he could in current state.
"Can I... yes, I can.." she answered, realizing it wasn't a time to joke. She had the capability, but did she have the mental strength? To allow Fenuviel to die and be forced to watch it, and still be expected to perform any action but weep? Fenuviel nodded slightly. "But I'm not sure if I can now, Fenu..."
"You can do it, Thayill... You must.. I know you can," he whispered, swallowing hard. His mouth seemed too dark, too rich in colour with blood, his skin paled in comparison. He had always been of a pallid complexion, but now it seemed far too sickly. A tear fell upon his cheek, though it was not his own. Fenuviel reached up a hand, trembling slightly, stroking her cheek with his fingertips, though it left a slight smear of blood upon her own skin. She bit back a soft cry as she watched Fenuviel close his eyes with a small smile. Slowly, his grip on her hand relaxed, and his own fell to the ground once more. Amongst the voices of the Sphere, his own went utterly silent. She struggled to her feet, once again calling whatever power she could find to her.

"Elune.. by your grace, grant me strength..." she pleaded, closing her eyes. A brilliant green glow began to line her hands, pulsing with energy. It seemed even to leech the colour and life from the surrounding plants, and they withered and turned brown as it flowed instead into Fenuviel's body. "Live, Fenuviel!" Thayill cried, the glow at her hands jolting from her fingertips to Fenuviel, seeping into his chest. Thayill collapsed beside him, her companion drawing in a quiet gasp as his eyes opened again. Fenuviel offered a faint smile.
"It worked, I guess..." Thayill breathed.
"It seems so... thank you, Thayill," he whispered.
"Can you stand?"
"I.. don't know,"

They helped each other to stand before Thayill walked Fenuviel towards Fang. He pulled himself up into the saddle as instructed, and Thayill sent the beast off towards the harbour. Melnerag was calling her, no doubt to tell her what had happened.

"I'll return as soon as I can," he heard her say before the feline had carried him out of ear-shot.

*    *     *

Fenuviel drifted in and out of consciousness. He had made it as far as Ashenvale before he and Thayill had collapsed from exhaustion. Just far enough to crawl into Jaqien's house there. The two Elves had done their best to explain what had happened, providing the human man with a somewhat sparse story, though at least the needed details were given. He had been stabbed. By Shagrath.

Fenuviel couldn't help but let his lips turn up into a slight grin as he faded into sleep, hearing Jaqien and Thayill plan how they would kill Shagrath for this. And they believed it so willingly. In time, so did Fenuviel. He forgot that it the wound had been caused by his own hand, lost in a world of dreams and hallucinations induced by the poison from the blade.

Opening his eyes, Fenuviel found himself in a strange world. Jaqien had taken him away from the house, knowing others might come to visit him there. They couldn't risk anyone finding out that Fenuviel still lived, or where. But this was no place he recognized. It was hardly a world at all. Behind him was a doorway made of old stone, fading into dim shadows. Becoming them. The shadows seemed to sway in a breeze... tangible. As though they were made of cloth or cobweb. When he reached out to touch them, they simply flew away from his fingertips and whipped about in the wind, disturbed by the lightest touch.

Fenuviel began to walk forward, out of the shadows, where a dim light shown, revealing that the shadows were in fact white. He reached out to brush them away, trying to see past them to what caused the light. In frustration, he gripped a hanging bit of the cloth and ripped it away. The palm of his hand suddenly stung sharply and he threw the piece to the ground, opening his fingers. Small blossoms of blood sprung up from his skin, dripping crimson drops onto the white satin below.

To his surprise, the drops continued to move, sliding across the ground towards the light in the distance, increasing even as he wrapped his hand to prevent it from bleeding anymore. The red had become a puddle in the distance now, and from it grew a figure. Someone he had never met face to face, nor expected to meet. Nor expected to be worthy enough to. Someone he shouldn’t have any idea as to how they should look, and yet he knew this must be the one. The figure turned to face him, and began speaking.

-To be Continued-