Forgiveness (Eidan)

The pilgrimage to Uther’s Tomb had given him much to think on, and much hope. He’d not expected it to be quite so enlightening, and certainly not expected to be able to participate so openly. The Vindicator called him ‘Diateomos’, or ‘Different One’, because Eidan was the only ‘Death Knight’ he’d ever seen who tried to do well, who followed the tenants of the Light. Eidan used the word now because there was no word for someone like him in the Common tongue, except, he suspected, perhaps ‘crazed’ or ‘foolish’. For years now he had struggled to prove himself, and had neither seen nor expected meet another Diateomos. And now, finally, he learned that he was not the only one, nor perhaps the first.

Though he had been lucky enough so far to meet those who were willing to accept him, and even to guide him, such as his own brother Trianon, the Bishop Fortesque, and now the Vindicator, none could quite give the guidance he needed. None quite understood what it was to be something like him, or how he could best wrestle his troubled thoughts.

He had begun to doubt, though he kept quiet about it. He could not help the dark thoughts that came, and he wondered in secret why the Light had forsaken him, and why it did not seem to hear him. Perhaps the others were right, he was simple a monster, despised by the Light he tried so very hard to live by. Even if this were true, he was determined to live out the rest of his time doing good, for his own personal atonement, whether or not the Light listened. But it did not ease his pain.

But the words of the other Diateomos began to change his mind. This man, Lexgrad, was so utterly different from any other Ebon Knight he had met. He was stricken by the man’s serenity; try as he might, there was always conflict in his own mind, even if only simmering in the depths. Yet Lexgrad seemed to be what Eidan strived to be, yet had not been able to achieve, for he could not see the path. He listened faithfully, hanging on to every word, as each seemed to bring him great insight and hope. He believed that he would be able to find the same peace. Lexgrad was the guide he had needed.

As he stood before Uther’s tomb finally, he thought, inspired, upon the words Lexgrad had left him with. That the Light was forgiving, and all could be forgiven, if only they sought redemption. Even a former Ebon Knight.

If such a despicable creature could be forgiven, surely anyone could, Eidan wagered. He slowly knelt in front of the tomb, pressing his hands together before him. He did not pray for his own forgiveness, but for the Light to forgive the one who had betrayed him, and left him to die. The one who had let him be taken, to become such a hideous thing. One he had respected, trusted, and even loved. For the last few years he could hardly fathom forgiveness for such a trespass, but now he understood that it was not he who had truly lost his way. Quietly, he prayed that the Light would find this lost soul instead, and grant them forgiveness.


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