Poetrycollection - Not so very cheerful

Past, present, future

Long lost times,cheerfull and young
Days of laughter and joy
Like a beautifull song

The innocence of a childs mind
Simplyfied and pure
With a heart, truly kind

Gloomy and dark, gone is the light
The present, as adult
Is not nearly as bright.

No longer the child of the past
Eyes are opened
While the years have passed

Waiting for the future to come
the darkness to fade
To stop feeling numb

The shadow road that lies ahead,
It scares me,
Because the child in me is dead

You're gone...

I whisper
Your name
I whisper
My pain

I cry
my tears
I cry
For lost years

My sorrow
So deep
My sorrow
I weep

My heart
It aches
My heart
It breaks

You're gone
No light
You're gone
lost the fight

Listen to my tale.

Listen to my tale, listen to me
Explore my mind filled with insanity

The words maybe drenched in madness
But this is my story nonetheless

Listen to my tale, listen to me
And learn how crazy life can be

Hear how I manage to smile and not to frown
in a world turned upside down

Listen to my tale, listen to me
Come closer my friends, I'll make you see

Follow this path of rainbows and butterflies
Here with me you find truth, not lies

Listen to my tale, listen to me
Hear my joy because I don't care, you see

My life is fucked yet I try
to laugh and not to cry

This is my tale, this is me
Struggling day and night to be free

Shadow's embrace
(WoW = Shadowpriest)

Shadows are crawling underneath my skin
licking on the edges of my soul
While fighting the light left within

I cannot hold, I am too weak
The darkness is so overwhelming
It's filling me with the powers I seek

Black is the colour I paint my days
I don't look back no more
and wrap myself in shadows' cold embrace

Time flies

Runing, yelling, having fun
Laughing and playing
enjoying the sun.

Screaming, crying, being young
Foolish and silly
Sticking out my tongue

Carefree, innocent, feeling free
Floating and soaring
Climbing in a tree

Losing, forgetting, time will pass
Growing and aging
It belongs to the past

The Monster

Once upon a time a monster came,
felt no pity, remorse or shame.

A shadow, always there, never gone.
It became a part of you for years to come.

Time went on while you slipped away.
Monster took control, you allowed it to stay.

We stood and watched, wanted you to see
Begged and cried to the man you used to be.

Undefeated, triumphant .. the monster has won.
Costed your life, and now you are gone.

Too late, our prayers never heard,
We sit united, with the same pain and hurt.

My Prayer


In my darkest hour I cry out.

Start to scream and shout.

Please listen, hear my call

Bring him back to us all.



Want to be held, want to feel.

That nothing of this is real.

Dry the tears on my face.

Grant me my fathers embrace.



Let me wake up tomorrow

To a day without sorrow.

See him smile, hear him talk

Go out together for a walk.



On my knees I beg you

There is nothing I wouldn't do

Listen to my desperate plea.

Give my father back to me.

This year...

Close is my birthday Dad

But I can only feel sad



Realisation has finally hit.

And now with my pain I sit.



The nightmare is real.

My wounds they did not heal.



A day of celebration ahead

for once a day I dred.



Now that I come to understand

That you won't hold my hand



Tell me how to handle this

All I can do is reminisce.



I wish to hear your voice.

For us to rejoice.



Just a hug, another dance

Perhaps another chance.



But in the darkness I see

This year, you won't be with me.

When I'm dead

My wish is simple, not to die alone
don't want to be buried under a stone.
Let me burn, throw my ashes into the sea
so that in the water, I can be free.

But don't let go of my memory
of the person I was, think of me.
Keep the love I gave alive in your heart
Remember good times when life becomes to hard.

When I'm dead, my image faded or gone
I'll be there, don't forget, to keep you strong.

The Darkness

The weight I carry makes me feel old
when I'm sat alone, in the dark, in the cold.

My arms wrapped around my frame
Seeking that bright little flame.

Within myself and in my mind.
The fire, the hope I cannot find.

Lost in the maze inside my head.
Long gone, dimished with the tears I've shed.

Burdens pile up, too heavy for me alone
Resting on my shoulders like a rock or stone.

Shadows catching up, surrounding me in the night
Allowing the pain, the numbness to creep up inside.

Time will pass, the moment will fade
Paste a smile upon my frown, such a charade.

While I pray and fight, day by day
To make the darkness forever go away.

Closing Chapters

The story only lasted for several years
For you, once my man, I shed plenty of tears

Perhaps it's time to end the chapter of you and me
Forget all the dreams of what we will never be.

When I look back and see what I have lost.
By wanting your love, no matter the cost.

Losing myself to the warmth of your embrace
Addicted to you and the smile on your face.

No longer myself as I changed over time.
Because all I wanted was for you to be mine.

Even now, while time passed and we grew apart
You still own me, remain the ruler of my heart.

Choices that are hard to make, to let go
In order to move on, allowing myself to grow.

I'll end it here with no happy ending to this tale
Because I have tried, I bled for you, to no avail.

My life goes on, it's my happiness I now pursue
And this path I will walk alone, without you.

4 seasons

A Summer passed in a daze
turned to autumn in a haze.
Many winternights spend in gloom
watched Spring and flowers in bloom.

4 seasons gone in a flash
365 days as time took a dash.
Had 52 weeks to handle the pain.
12 months and praying in vain.

There is no waking, it's been a year.
Over is the wait, you won't be here.
The clock does not go backwards
Time only forces me forward.

Ticking fast I can't keep up
can't make my loving to stop.
With life taking it's natural course.
I'll always remain a daughter of yours.

Loving you where ever you are.
Forever and always my shining Star.

Fathersday of regret

My hero of a never forgotten past.
Let me tell you how much I regret.
That last years fathersday was our last.
And how many things were left unsaid.

To have you back no matter the cost.
There is no limit to the ends I would go.
So I can get back what has been lost.
To repeat this day from a year ago,

Instead of passing wishes in a text.
Neglecting the meaning of the day.
Not knowing there would be no next.
There was so much more I wanted to say.

But the day passed and then came the pain.
While crying I asked you not to leave.
Remember how I begged to you in vain?
And as you passed there was only grief.

Gone was my chance to let you know.
That I could not have wished a better dad.
For you held me and watched me grow.
So much more I know I could add.

My words mean nothing anymore.
The chance has passed and is now gone.
I should have said them long before.
Too late I realize what I should have done.

One year ago I could hear your voice.
A time where all was better then today.
When I possessed the choise.
And where I still could say:

Happy fathersday to you old man.
I am glad to have a dad such as you.
You're there for me whenever you can.
Caring and loving in everything you do.

As your daughter I am glad.
For everything you have given me.
That I have such a wonderfull dad.
Truer a hero then anyone could be.

Let me hold you on a day like this.
Just to make sure that you know.
I'll hug you and give you a kiss.
Listen to me, I love you so.

Words of a Mother

Somewhere far away there is a beautifull girl
To me she is the rarest and most precious pearl.

When the sound of her laughter reaches my ears.
It is utterly divine and makes me forget all the tears.

Her arms around me when I hold her close
Firmly yet so cautious for my sweet little rose.

The smile on her face so cheeky and bright.
Eyes that are more clear then starts in the night.

Lips that never cease moving, talking out loud.
Energy without a limit to run, laugh and shout.

Time is known to fly and hours have gone by
Our day is over and it's time for our goodbye.

My child, my darling sweet child,
Daughter of mine, cheerfull and wild.

Goodbye is the thorn that pierces my heart.
Leaving you at the door, it is so hard.

But I know when I return I shall see you smile.
Knowing my sacrifice makes it all worthwhile.

Unwritten rules that I have been breaking.
Sitting without you and heart that is aching.

Life as I know has taken twists and turns
Always full of strive and constant concerns.

Yet even when I am wishing I could hold you near.
Be the one that comforts you at every single tear.

Things have gone differently and here I stand.
Far away from you and an empty hand.

You can't hear me now and are asleep.
Drifting away in dreams and a slumber so deep.

Put to bed by another that loves you but is no me.
So I am writing this poem for you one day to see.

Let you know that even if I am not there.
And at this age you are fully unaware.

The pain I as mother feel and go through
Because I am not there, such a taboo.

Yet all I need is one word, your call
And on hands and knees to you I shall crawl.

For my child hear me out, this much is true.
Nothing in life I love more then you.

I set me free

The wind carried my words.
Picked them up above
into the sky, to the birds.
Who whispered my love

With my pain I filled
streams of sorrow.
A sadness never stilled.
Not today, nor tomorrow.

Swallowed the tears I cry.
Rocked my body to sleep
and questioned, why
my heart would only weep.

Finally I'll set me free.
After following the ebb and flow
endless, like the sea.
Release the pain, let go.

Today, next in forever.
Just another start.
But not forgetting you ever.
For I hold you in my heart.

Birthdaywishes to heaven

My message failed to send, a call wont go through.
No matter how hard I try, I can't reach you.
Today we are not together for this celebration.
Today a day that deserves no decoration.
My arms will not reach out, no kisses.
My voice wont be heard, no best wishes.
So all I can hope for, even if surreal.
Is that you can hear me, that you can feel.
My thoughts and heart are reaching out.
Mere whispers, silent words, not too loud.
No matter where you are or might be.
Happy birthday dad,
sincerely
me

Second skin

Let me shed that second skin
the hide that won't let anyone in.
Layer after layer that has grown on me
yet remaining hidden so nobody can see.
That when my smile vanishes at night
the moment I turn off that last light.
My wall crumbles and I ache,
sighing in the dark I lie awake.
Allowing the strenght to fade
In the dark nobody sees, no facade.
Hidden and sheltered in my bed
Waiting for sleep and the dreams I dread.
In the morning the sun will rise
A new day, the same disguise.

Forever the same


Another year that you won't gain.
Birthdaywishes void, all in vain.

Aging, that doesn't apply.
Just another day passes by.

Your face the same forever more.
Unchanged, exactly like before.

You'll be forever the same.
In the memories that remain.

That I hold on to, and cling.
Every tear and every sting.

Reminding me of what is gone.
Lost in a night that knows no dawn.

Each year again, on the same date.
I'll have to keep myself straight.

But what I really want and crave.
Is for you to return from your early grave.

A wish unheard, never granted.
Leaving me sat here stranded.

I am left with having to cope.
Perhaps with the smallest of hope.

That somehow you know and hear.
"Happy Birthday, Daddy dear"

Father's flame

Tomorrow my envy will rise
I shall explain to you, why.
Please, listen, heed my advise
Born from the tears I cry.

Fathersday, need I say more?
Opportunity lost and gone.
Oh the things I'd ask for.
And dreams I dwell on.

"Is your dad the best of all?"
An email suddenly there.
Making me sit, stare and bawl.
The pain I'll have to bear.

Remember this, my sorrow
The chances out of reach.
Today, always and tomorrow.
While unknown Gods I beseech.

Learn from the words I wrote.
My poems, hardship and pain.
Feelings I so often denote.
A small comfort, efforts in vain.

Tomorrow just another day.
To remember and regret.
All the words I wish to say.
There is no hope, and yet...

I know I will be sat here.
Whispering nonetheless.
Who knows, he may hear.
The love I wish to express.

No matter where he may be.
Or how long it has been.
My dad, he is a part of me.
A flame, forever within.