Drowning

Way too late... been wanting to write this for a long time now... Hopefully you all like it, even though it's not much exiting


The soft footsteps behind me assured me that Lynnayla Firedawn was still behind me. Other than that, she did not make a sound. I knew she would rather not be with me at the moment. In fact, I knew she would rather not be with me at any moment. But at the moment, she was the only one who I could trust. And the only one who would not bother me nor worry about me too much.
We were threading the forest path towards the Oracle Glade in Teldrassil. I carried with me two small pouches, filled to the rim with a herb called Stardust. I dressed lightly, barely more than a white cloth, closed with a sash. I knew I would soon be home again. Only a small trip was required today but my body was screaming for it, it had already been too long again. The forests seemed hushed with an eerie silence today, I noticed and it kept me from striking a conversation with Lynnayla, even though a conversation with Lynnayla was always hard to keep going.
As we arrived at the Oracle Glade, the sentinels looked away from us. They knew why I was there. Yet, instead of judging me, or turning me away, they just looked the other way, the way they were trained to do. I was very thankful of that fact. I knew that what I was about to do, wasn’t right, nor considered very healthy. Yet I could not keep myself from coming here, time and time again. The pain would just become unbearable after a time, and that was when I would seek out Lynnayla. This last time, I did not even have to ask. Lynnayla had just sighed, looked at me, slightly annoyed as only she could be with me, and then motioned me to lead the way. The all too familiar way, by now.
We took the small path towards the Moonwell, where we would be properly alone. No-one would be watching us, and the Sentinels would make sure I would have my privacy for the time being. I climbed the steps of the Well alone, leaving Lynnayla standing behind. I did not turn around to look at her, nor tell her anything. She knew the drill quite well by now.
As I removed the pouches however, Lynnayla did make a comment;

‘Wait…’ she said, with sounding slightly hesitant.

I turned around slowly, looking at her, my fingers already halfway submerged in the powdery Stardust. Lynnayla stood there, fidgeting with a loose thread on her sleeve. She frowned, making her usually pretty face slightly more unpleasant.

‘You know you shouldn’t do this, right?’ she asked then, sounding like she already knew the answer.

I just nodded, she usually asked this question. I believed it would make her feel better about herself, she would know then, that she did ask and I did nothing against my will. I saw her sigh at my nod, resignation covering her features. I turned around once more.
I took a good handful of the Stardust, starting to chant a soft Prayer to Elune, then spread the herb out to cover the whole surface of the Well. The moment the Dust touched the blessed waters of the Moonwell, they started to glow, emitting a curious smell of burning wood and bruised leaves, not entirely unpleasant. The aroma’s however, we’re not the reason for my coming here. As I took another step forward towards the edge of well, I untied the sash of my robe and let the cloth run down my shoulders and the rest of my body. It piled up around my ankles at the floor. Naked and still chanting soft Prayers, I took another step forward, this time into the Well itself. The waters were neither hot or cold, the temperature just perfect. I slowly waded towards the middle of the Well and then seized my chanting. The herb was already doing its job, a soft tingling sensation was creeping up my legs. I turned around slowly to see if Lynnayla had done as expected. She had… She was standing on the edge of the Moonwell, watching me with a face void of expression. She was clearly ready.
Bit by bit, I submerged myself under the waters of the Moonwell, the herb taking a more rapid effect. It was dazzling, as always. I lost all sense of direction, the forest disappearing from my vision. My muscles all relaxed, and the blessed waters of the Moonwell gave me a floating sensation. It was amazing what this remedy could do, I still had time to think, before the herb also took its effect on my mind. All sensations seized. There was no more pain, no more worries clouding my mind…

It always seemed to last an eternity, this feeling, and it was so wonderful. Yet I knew it would come to an end, even though the drug would keep its painkilling effect for a couple of weeks more. The floating seized when I felt the soft arms of Lynnayla pulling me towards the edge of the Moonwell, and then pulling me out of it. That was why she was there. If I was to do this alone, the remedy would prevent me from ever leaving the well by myself again, putting me in a permanent dreamlike state. With the right amount of time submerged however, I was still able to function with a resemblance of normality.
Lynnayla did as she always did, softly drying me off and wrapping my robe around me once more. She then held me until I was ready to stand on my own again, still with a small smile of bliss on my lips…

‘When will it be the last time Eavya? You know this cannot go on forever. You’re already going at increasingly shorter intervals…’

I just nodded. Of course I was aware of the dangers, of the numbing of my senses… of the less and less time it took for the pain to return, the pain that should not even be there any more by now…

‘Just take me home, Lynnayla. Thank you once more for your services tonight.’

Lynnayla sighed, frowning. Then nodded, let me lean on her and did as she was told…