"The art of forgiving" (Ledgic)

“The art of forgiving”

The past week had been a very testing time for Ledgic Caan. He had to deal with the issue of Valerias and his people seemingly having nothing better to do beyond fighting amongst themselves.

He sighed and rested a bare arm on the rail of his balcony, staring out at the quiet night. He could always find comfort in these nights; the moon was shining down on the calm sea, giving it a gentle glow. He lifted the arm and scratched his bare chest, before letting out a quiet sigh and closing his eyes. It had been a long time since anything was giving him problems sleeping and he couldn’t help but avoid waking Annie, she had listened to all of his ramblings and done her best to help him but he didn’t want to bother her with it anymore.

He looked down at himself, staring at the branded scorpion tail on his chest, frowning quite heavily. Everything would have been so much easier if he and Vale didn’t have things like that. Their freedom was just an illusion and Ledgic knew that for a fact, after escaping the village he had faced as many struggles, both from the Caans that chased him and the people he would meet. Life would never be simple and clean for a Caan, even with the number of them having dwindled.

He looked up and took another glance at the sea, he wished that for just one day he could be as calm as the sea looked. Just for one day he didn’t have anything to think about. He longed for some time where he didn’t need to think about multiple outcomes for the same problems.

He stood up straight, the moonlight seeming to stroke his skin. He looked over his shoulder at the sound of Annie stirring; he smirked slightly and shook his head. She wouldn’t be getting up anytime soon, she seemed far more gifted for getting a decent night’s sleep than he.

“Why do I care?” he muttered to himself as he folded his arms. A few days ago he had told Valerias that he was done with her, done trying to help her and tired of trying his hardest to look out for her. It was the end of the line for that sort of arrangement and Ledgic knew that it was all in vain in the first place, nothing he had ever done for Valerias had ended well. She had never offered him thanks for his acts; she’d done the complete opposite. He understood why, because he was the same, he hated being protected or watched over but he would never treat a person worse for it.

There was a solid difference between the two of them, a difference that would always be there. Yet despite that difference, despite Ledgic telling her he was done with her, he could not bring himself to let her go completely. He wanted her to remain where he could keep an eye on her in some way.

This was his last resort, keeping her close enough to watch out for her in secret. He had taken one last shot at making her realise how wrong she was and that was through burning the remains of the Caan village to the ground. A part of him had hated doing it, due to having a connection to the place as well. He promised himself he would never set foot on that soil again and he planned to stick to that, but it was in vain. Valerias had showed no change at all, though from the way she spoke that night, at least Ledgic knew there was some humanity there.

He clenched his fists and let out a low growl. He couldn’t understand any of it, he didn’t know why he cared so much about her well being, he didn’t know why he’d prefer her to be around than to disappear and never bother him again. He turned round and walked back inside, deciding it was better to try and sleep. He sat down on the bed carefully and slid himself beneath the blanket, he turned his head on the pillow to look at Annie, she was sleeping soundly. He smiled and edged towards her, moving an arm around her, pressing a very light kiss on her forehead.

He closed his eyes and eventually fell to sleep, drifting into a world he did not expect.

--

Ledgic sat up straight and looked around himself, he was in the middle of a dark wood. As he slowly stood up he could see smoke flowing above some trees, he began walking through the woods, cursing at the sharp twigs and broken branches as they scratched against them. He stopped in his tracks as he emerged into the Caan village; it was still standing as he remembered it from his childhood. He looked down at himself, raising an eyebrow as he noticed his armour. As he looked back up he could see a rather thin girl rushing away from the house. His eye’s widened as he realised he was seeing Valerias, her hair long and tangled.

He took a step forward before seeing two Caan boys chasing after her and already he knew which night it was. He closed his eyes momentarily as he heard Valerias stop and yell at the boys. As he opened them again, he saw the younger version of himself drop from the trees and land between them.

He took a few steps forward to listen in, watching Valerias intently.

“Outta th’way Ledgic, ‘fer we kick ye in n’ all” shouted the more confident of the two Caan boys. He took a step forward and drew a crude dagger, holding it threateningly in Ledgic’s direction. Ledgic smirked and shirk his head, assuming a fighting pose.

“Yer na’ layin’ a finger on either o’ us, ‘specially na’ ‘er” he said. Ledgic watched as his younger self dived at the two boys, relentlessly beating down on them until they eventually ran away.

He watched as Valerias yelled at him and sighed as his younger self walked away, clearly confused by the situation. He began walking as Valerias turned to head towards the murky lake that sat just beyond the village. They had spoken a few times near that lake; often the conversations were actually the more sensible of them.

He watched as Valerias sat down roughly, digging her bare feet into the damp mud around her. He frowned momentarily before walking forward and standing beside her. She looked up at him and blinked as he looked down at her.

“L-Led?” she muttered, obviously developing something of a headache from seeing a much older version of Ledgic.
Ledgic frowned slightly, not being able to make sense of any of it. He knew he was dreaming and he wanted to wake up.

“Sorry, Vale. I’m sorry fer leavin’ ye be’ind, I’m sorry fer missin’ wha’ ye were sa’ much… an’ I’m sorry tha’ I’ll never be able to ‘elp ye. I’m sa’ sorry” he muttered as his face twisted with sadness.

--

Ledgic shot up in bed and looked down at himself. “Righ’… naked again, good” he thought as he lay back down, letting out a couple of quick breaths. He turned his head as Annie rolled over and rested her head on his chest. With that act and the dream… he felt lighter.

Perhaps it was time to forgive himself.