'The sum of his monsters' Part I/II (Ledgic)

‘The sum of his monsters’

Part I

For all its swirling energies and twisted land, Nagrand never seemed to change much to Ledgic. Every view may have been different if seen from another angle, but for a man that had spent many a month staring at the land, everything was the same. He stood at the edge of a stretch of stone above the inn, staring at the wilds outside Telaar.

As the wind picked up and blew his hair across his face, Ledgic dropped the end of his cigarette to the stone below, very slowly crushing it beneath the sole of his boot. Both Eothan Dawn and Omanos Galenos had arrived in Telaar four days ago, not at Ledgic’s request. Eothan had begun to teach him as carefully as he could, but it had resulted in some pain for all involved.

--

The sky had begun to darken, throwing a shadow over the whole of Nagrand. In a stretch of farmland stood three figures, with one burning torch stabbed into the ground nearby. Ledgic stood, bandages wrapped around his arms and hands, an exhausted and bruised figure. Eothan stood a few paces for him, a similar expression on his face, but far less damaged.

Omanos stood near the torch and patiently watched the two of them with his arms folded. He had been brought to Nagrand by Eothan to provide both of them with medical care, he was unsure of what else he could provide. His eyebrows quirked as Ledgic suddenly grinned from ear to ear and launched himself at Eothan, the black shadow flowed from his hands.

‘There! This is where you need to fight Ledgic! Take control of it, do not let it control you!’ shouted Eothan as he quickly dodged to the right. He watched Ledgic’s movements with careful eyes, his eyebrows narrowed. The words had fallen on deaf ears, as Ledgic landed and twisted round, swinging his right leg towards Eothan. The connection was made and a crack rippled through the air around them as Eothan crashed to the floor.

Eothan growled as he wrapped an arm around his cracked ribs and looked up as Ledgic simply stood beside him, staring down at him. It was the body of the man he had known for many years, but definitely not the soul. He seemed to be enjoying the fact he had brought pain down upon Eothan.

‘Ledgic, listen to me… you need to think, search for everything about yourself and the shadow that is yours to wield and merge with. You’ll become everything you hate if you keep losing control like this’ said Eothan quickly. His eyes widened as Ledgic swiftly lifted a leg and slammed his foot down against Eothan’s arms. As Eothan let out another growl in pain, Omanos began walking towards Ledgic.

‘Stop it!’ he yelled as he took a firm grip of Ledgic’s shoulder. Ledgic turned his head slowly to look at Omanos, the smile fading from his face. ‘This is not the man I’ve looked up to for this long. Now do as he says and stop this, or I will put you down myself’ said Omanos sternly, his grip tightening.
‘Ye? Put me down? Yer ‘avin’ a laugh’ said Ledgic as his eyes narrowed. Before he could make any moves, Omanos had planted his fist into Ledgic’s face, knocking him off balance and onto the floor.

--

Ledgic closed his eyes and clenched his hands into fists. The wind continued to sweep across him, sending his hair blowing in several directions. He trembled slightly as he thought back to what had happened that day, the feeling of being there but watching his actions as though he had no control of them.

He opened his eyes and slowly sat down, hanging his legs over the edge of the stone platform. He watched the Kurenai going about their daily lives with sad eyes, he had come here to try once again to better himself, but the elders of the village had been unable to help him. They had even backed away when presented with the problem; their view of him had changed. He was no longer their warden, at least not until he dealt with the issue facing him.

He lifted a hand and rubbed his eyes slowly, dealing with an issue that sucked the life out of you wasn’t easy. It had been said by many people that Ledgic was unlike himself recently, that his drive and his ambition simply didn’t seem as apparent as it used to. Every word of that was right, he could hardly even feel it anymore, and it was as if he was finally letting go of the idea that he’d be okay. That after everything he had done and all that he had gone through in the past, was finally worth letting go of.

‘Too much thinking, I presume?’ said Eothan as he settled himself down beside Ledgic. Ledgic closed his eyes briefly before turning his head to look at Eothan. He was beaten and bruised, just as Ledgic was… not every training session of theirs had gone badly, but he had received a beating for his efforts.

‘Yeh, I guess’ muttered Ledgic as he turned his head to look down at Telaar again. ‘We knew that helping you control this was never going to be easy, Led. All that’s happened is being proven correct. This is a complicated matter, and you need all the help you can get’ said Eothan as he wrapped an arm around his chest, his cracked ribs still giving him some issues.

‘I don’ think I do, y’know. All th’elp I’ve ‘ad sa’ far migh’ o’ worked out fer th’better in some areas, but it’s done th’opposite in others. Ye n’ Om’ are all beaten n’ bruised, Vale fecked off n’ abandoned me. I’m surprised Annie’s still ‘ere, don’ see why she’d wanna stick aroun’ now’.

Eothan looked at Ledgic and sighed. It was strange having respect and distaste for a man at the same time. Eothan couldn’t best Ledgic physically, no matter how many times he tried; it was simply in his blood to win. And yet he had no mental strength at all, he seemed so certain that he would end up alone and that was the worst fate for a man like him.

‘I might not be a man that understands what it is to hold a relationship together, nor one that can really appreciate feelings… but Annie is here because she wants to be, Led. You’ve found yourself a woman that is sticking by you, and she’s stuck by you through plenty before now. You think she’d just get up and leave you when you’re in the most troubling situation she’s seen you in?’ Eothan simply shook his head and looked out toward the rolling fields of Nagrand.

‘She should, tha’s why I don’ get why she ain’. We’ve been tryin’ t’sort this fer days now, Eothan. An’ th’most we’ve managed is me bein’ able t’control me’ own shadow. Four days o’ kickin’ th’shit outta each other an’ all I’ve got t’show fer it is not burnin’ me’self’ said Ledgic angrily.

‘This wasn’t going to be a quick fix, and you’ve constantly turned down my idea of mind magic. You need to look inside yourself in a deeper way than you’re capable of physically. And if you want to improve and have control of your shadow, so that you can keep all that you care about… you need to confront that which is the opposite of you’ said Eothan sternly as he turned to look back at Ledgic.

‘I wan’ ye n’ Om’ t’feck off an’ leave me ‘ere. If yer na’ gone in th’next couple o’ hours I’m gonna boot ye out m’self’ said Ledgic, though his eyes remained on the ground below. ‘I tried it yer way, an’ ye ain’ goin’ inside me’ feckin’ ‘ead’ he finished with a grunt.

‘Ledgic… we haven’t tried everything yet. We came here to help you win this thing’ said Eothan as he raised his eyebrows. ‘Tough, piss off an’ leave me alone’ said Ledgic bluntly.

Eothan slowly climbed to his feet and looked down at Ledgic. He really was becoming a shell of his former self, perhaps if he was going to convince Ledgic to confront himself he would have to do it through Annie. He turned and walked away from Ledgic, leaving the man sat on the edge of the stone platform.

If he could convince Annie that it was the best thing for Ledgic to do, then perhaps she could convince him. As he walked to the front of the inn, he saw Aniane sat on a curved tree nearby, in baggy clothing. It seemed she too was enjoying the simple staring that people did in Nagrand.

‘You and I need to discuss something’ he said loudly as he walked towards her.

If he couldn’t make her convince Ledgic, then he wasn’t sure how else he could help.

Looking forward to more of this!

‘The sum of his monsters’

Part II

‘Whatever you find in there, just remember that it’s simply a part of your own mind. You’ll find the source of the problem, and that’s where you need to do what you do best. Seeing you in this state isn’t easy for anyone that knows you, I think you underestimate just how many people look up to you. In a way, I’m one of them; there are many things about you that I can respect. Find the source of your pain and defeat it any way you can. Take control of yourself again, then you can move on with your life. Fight as you always have’.

Ledgic could hear Eothan’s words echoing through his mind as laid flat on a bed in Telaar’s inn. His eyes were closed tightly, though the grip of his hand around Aniane’s may well have been tighter. He had not wanted his problems with the shadow to result in these methods, and as he had told Aniane the night before, he truly feared what he would have to face. Fear was not uncommon, but it was certainly an emotion he hid as best as he could in every situation, and it was a skill he hoped he would regain after this process was complete.

Aniane looked up to peer at Eothan as he rested one hand on Ledgic’s forehead, a gentle flame of shadow licking at his skin. Eothan let out a quiet breath as he closed his eyes and a look of concentration overwhelmed his face. It was strange for all involved to look back a year and think just how differently they thought of each other, they could never have predicted this.

Eothan was not a man that would have been helpful towards anyone; he had only been a burden to Ledgic. Perhaps that was why he felt such a need to help him now, as Ledgic had finally found himself in a hole that Eothan could help him crawl out of. However, the strain would still be on the one climbing, all Eothan could do was throw down the tools to aid him.

Eothan’s brow twitched as the shadow surrounding his hand increased in size. Aniane watched as it began flowing down the sides of Ledgic’s face. Eothan’s little finger lifted slightly as he let out another deep breath. ‘There… he is on his own now. All we can do now is have faith in him’ muttered Eothan quietly. Aniane looked from Ledgic’s face, to Eothan, before looking back again. Faith, what a strange concept.

‘I’ve found where the shadow is strongest inside your mind. You’ll be flashing through a few places while I lead you to it, you will see your location while I will not. It takes extra energy from myself to do that, but I agreed to respect your wishes. You might not take my well wishes seriously, but Aniane is here. Somehow I think you can believe she wants you to come out of this’.

--

Ledgic opened his eyes as he felt his feet touch the ground. As he peered down at his legs, he noticed decaying wooden floorboards beneath his boots. He cleared his throat and looked up to see a room covered in blood and the corpses of four men. As he took a step forward, he felt his foot bump into something. He peered down and immediately fell to his knees at the sight of the corpse of Dathia, the daughter that had been killed in his care. He closed his eyes as he resisted all urges he had to lift the child from the ground. He shuddered violently before hearing a roll of thunder and the clashing of blades.

He opened his eyes once again at the feel of the wind against his face. Standing up sharply he found himself on one of the many battlefields he had fought upon in Nagrand. The ground was littered with the dying members of the horde and alliance, it was if he could feel their suffering. As he peered around the burning field, noticing every fallen comrade and enemy, every weapon piercing the ground, he found himself feeling some remorse for the actions he had taken in this battle.

His eyes fixed on a young man with long brown hair. ‘Torlian’ muttered Ledgic as he watched the young man fighting with an Orc at least twice his size. He clenched his fists as the Orc fell from a sword in his back. Torlian yelled angrily at the man that had stolen his honour by killing the enemy. As the man tried to walk past Torlian, he had felt the chill of a blade across his chest. The man turned and slammed his arm against Torlian’s face, sending him crashing to the ground. Shortly after he had lifted Torlian’s blade and pierced both his palm and the ground with it.

‘Sorry kid’ muttered Ledgic as he closed his eyes once again, the same roll of thunder crashed all around him. Ledgic shuddered as he felt as though he was falling through the air. Connecting with a damp and muddy ground, a ground he knew before he had even opened his eyes, rudely stopped the feeling. He opened his eyes with a grunt and slowly pulled himself to his feet and began to wipe some of the damp mud from his chest armour.

‘I were wonderin’ ‘ow long it’d take fer ye t’get ‘ere. Finally tired o’ losin’ eh?’

Ledgic turned on his heels and peered into the darkness he found. He blinked heavily as the lights in the wooden buildings surrounding him began to flick on, one by one. Lights like he had never seen before, illuminating him, the ground and the sky all at once. He lifted an arm to guard his eyes and simply stared ahead of him as a figure began to walk toward him.

‘Y’gotta admit though, y’sorta liked the feelin’ o’ losin’ control like tha’, didn’ ye?’

Ledgic lowered his arms as the lights began to dim and watched as the figure stopped a few paces from him. He looked him up and down, taking note of his armour and weapons, ultimately knowing what he’d see when he looked into his face.

‘Ah c’mon, get over it. Sure yer fightin’ yerself but wha’s th’big deal? Ain’ like yer gonna get a better figh’ n’ this’

Ledgic stood and listened to the words pouring out of his double’s mouth. It was hard to separate him from the fact he was simply a representation of his shadow, he couldn’t see him as anything other than himself. He gritted his teeth and watched as the double lit a cigarette with a flare of shadow from his palm.

‘Ain’ it sorta weird t’be in yer own ‘ead an’ thinkin’ too much at the same time?’ said the double with a chuckle afterwards, as smoke flowed from his mouth.

‘I won’ be thinkin’ fer long’ stated Ledgic, a certain defiance in his tone of voice that he missed in recent months. Staring at the horrible potential future of his own life was giving him a little of the fire that he had relied on for his entire life. It was hard to admit to himself that Eothan may have been right about this course of action.

‘Ledgic versus th’Caan eh? Sure y’don’ need t’be doin’ any thinkin’ abou’ tha’? Ye’ve been afraid o’ this lil’ meetin’ fer yer ‘ole life’ said the Caan, with another chuckle to follow.

‘Yeh, I ‘ave been. An’ righ’ up until getting ‘ere… I’ve been scared o’ this figh’. But now I’m stood in fron’ o’ ye, I’m startin’ t’wonder why. If I beat ye down, I can learn t’control all th’shit me’ clan did t’me. I can finally move on, be wit’ me’ wife, raise me’ kids an’ get shi’ done. I don’ ‘ave t’constantly be worryin’ abou’ yer sorry arse’ said Ledgic defiantly as he cracked his neck.

‘Oh? So ye’ve come ‘ere thinkin’ ye can win eh? Well… ain’ tha’ a ‘ole lot differen’ from th’bloke tha’ was yellin’ fer me t’stop kickin’ th’crap outta yer shadow friend?’ said the Caan with a grin from ear to ear.

‘I’m all tha’ ye’ve got t’look forward ta’, Ledgic. Don’ go kiddin’ yerself inta’ thinkin’ ye can win, s’only gonna break yer ‘eart in th’end’

‘S’where yer wron’, mate. ‘avin’ me’ ‘eart broken was wha’ got me ‘ere, s’wha’ let ye out in th’first place. Once I do this, I’m gonna be fine, an’ trust me… I’ve got t’many reasons not t’lose’ said Ledgic as he lifted his arms and clenched his hands into fists.

This fight was never going to be easy, but at least he finally felt like he could win again. The fire that had always been in his gut and behind his eyes was coming back, he could feel it. He’d used that same fire to take down everyone that ever stood before him, whether it be fighting for the right reason or not. This time… he was fighting for the right reason, he was fighting to keep himself and all that person had found in his life that he cared about.

--

Aniane looked up at Eothan as he began to grimace, the shadow flame surrounding his hand and Ledgic’s forehead began to flicker. She didn’t say anything; she didn’t understand anything about all this magic crap. Eothan had mentioned that he would be risking him own health more than Ledgic’s with this process, so even if he was a dickhead she still had some concern. Still, she chose to simply watch, just in case anything she did screwed it all up.

Eothan let out a quiet breath and drew in a long one through his nose. The flame began to normalise again and resume it’s gentle licking of Ledgic’s skin. He had been right, the process this spell involved had not been kind to his energy supply, he could feel his shadow decreasing, and was only able to keep it at the level required by pushing at his hardest. The issue lied in the fact he had no idea how long he could keep it up, and that Ledgic would either have to win his fight quickly, or the two of them would risk being unable to continue. Of course, Eothan hadn’t mentioned that if he were to disconnect the spell without any warning or the proper rituals, then Ledgic would be stuck in a comatose state until he was strong enough to re-introduce the spell. There would be no telling how long it would take to regain that strength.

Taking her gaze from Eothan after watching his face relax, Aniane looked to Ledgic again. She widened her eyes slightly at the smirk appearing on Ledgic’s face. She hadn’t seen him smirk like that in a long time.

--

Lightning crashed across the darkened sky as two pairs of feet slid and splashed with the waterlogged ground beneath them. With every movement, mud seemed to sling into the air, or against the leather armour of the leggings they wore. Ledgic jolted backwards as the Caan slammed a fist into his throat, he quickly responded by landing on his hand and sweeping the Caan’s legs from beneath him, sending him down to the ground.

Ledgic pushed himself to his feet and jumped backwards, sliding across the damp ground before readying himself again.

‘Tha’ all ye got? I figured fightin’ someone wit’ th’same style’d be ‘arder!’ said Ledgic confidently. He watched with that same smirk as the Caan lifted himself from the ground and reached up to unhook his now mud covered cloak. He darted forward as at the sound of the cloth slapping against the ground and leapt into the air, diving toward Ledgic with force.

The two men connected with forceful blows, a fist to Ledgic’s jaw and a knee into the Caan’s stomach. The force of the impact threw up more mud around them, as time seemed to slow down. The two of them stared at each other intently, both with looks of anger in their eyes. Ledgic may have got his own fire back, but the Caan had that same fire.

The two separated once again and rubbed their sore spots. Ledgic peered around the darkened area, a part of the Caan village he hadn’t seen in a long time. They were on the outskirts of the village, where Ledgic had finally made his escape at the age of seventeen. It was strange, thinking this would be the place he’d have to fight to keep a hold of himself, the one place he was glad to escape from.

‘We’re ‘ere ‘cause it’s the first place yer feelin’s got th’better o’ ye. Y’remember th’guilt ye felt as ye legged it from this spot?’ said the Caan as he lifted a hand to wipe some mud from his face.

‘Yeah, s’where I left Vale. Now feckin’ button it’ said Ledgic quickly as he darted forward and slid along the ground. He dropped to the floor and swept the Caan’s legs from beneath him once again. As the Caan fell to the ground, Ledgic rolled to the side. He quickly pushed himself up from the floor to climb on top of the Caan and began to viciously punch him in the face. With every blow, blood escaped the Caan’s nose and mouth at a fast rate.
‘I’m tired o’ bein’ scared o’ becomin’ ye! I’m gonna take control o’ all this shi’ tha’ Kaden ‘ad shoved onta’ me, and then yer gonna be buried for good!’ yelled Ledgic as he slammed a final fist in the Caan’s face before simply staring down at the bloodied mess.

‘Y’think I’m ever goin’ anywhere, eh?’ said the Caan with a smirk as the wounds Ledgic had inflicted healed before his eyes. ‘Did ye ever stop t’think abou’ where we are, Led? We’re inside yer feckin’ ‘ead, ‘ow d’ye expect t’kill me ‘ere? This ain’ th’real word ye tit’ said the Caan as he lifted his head and smashed it into Led’s face sharply, sending him rolling away.

Ledgic rolled onto his feet and stood up slowly, holding a bloody nose. He watched as the Caan got up and shook himself off. It was if he hadn’t taken any damage at all. It wasn’t a stretch to believe that he knew more than Ledgic did about being in this place, Ledgic avoided it all costs.

He looked up, as the sky seemed to darken even more. He noticed the Caan looking up as well, before looking down at Ledgic with a wide grin on his face.

‘Looks like your fella Eothan ain’ quite as stron’ as ‘e thought. Reckon this place is gonna fade soon’ he said with a chuckle.

‘You need to learn to use your own shadow; once you have that you can fight the other one. Maybe you’ll change the other to match your own, maybe you’ll control them separately but ultimately you must fight one with the other. This is the key to keeping control Ledgic, embrace your natural shadow’.

Ledgic closed his eyes as he remembered the first words Eothan said to him when their training had begun. Fight one with the other; use one to control the other.

He smirked widely as he opened his eyes and charged towards the Caan, he watched as the Caan swung an arm, ready to connect with his face. Ledgic swerved in his path and lifted an arm to smack the incoming punch to the side and threw a fist covered in a dark violet flame straight into the Caan’s gut.

Ledgic stood for a moment the first slowly sinking through the Caan’s flesh, the flame growing larger over time. It raged for a moment before that same flame engulfed the Caan, before dispersing him.

Ledgic fell to one knee and let out a deep breath.

--

Eothan opened his eyes and lifted his hand from Ledgic’s forehead as the shadow surrounding his hand became that seem deep violet flame. Aniane watched as Eothan stood up and allowed the shadow to disperse.

He looked exhausted, with a face covered in sweat and his breathing heavy.

‘Stay with him, he’ll wake eventually. See if you can manage a smile when he comes round, I’m pretty certain he managed it’.

Eothan turned and walked out of the room, leaving Aniane to wait for Ledgic to come out of the sleep state.

I loved this.

I really did. The pace at which the action happens, and the scenes that Led walks through... Annie's brief inner monologue ('even if he was a dickhead she still had some concern' lol xD)... and the fight!

If I would change anything, it's that I think it was resolved too quickly. The Caan was bragging about how Led couldn't beat him, but didn't even have a chance to defend himself from Led's shadow. I know he's pulling himself together to master it, but I think it would be improved by adding more to the shadow dimension of the fight! Perhaps some angry last words.

But all in all this is one of the best things you've written in awhile, I think. Very awesome stuff.

M'yeah, I felt the resolution may have been a bit too quick. I might go back and look at that, I think it was just the fact that this piece had been pestering me all day and by the end of it I just wanted it done XD