The last character you played is now your roommate - How fucked are you?

So right. Im bored, and I got nothing better to do atm. I'm shamelessly stealing this off my wargaming/roleplaying clubs forums.

As the name says, the last character you played is now your roommate. How crazy does shit get?
This includes any character you roleplay, be it WoW, tabletop rp or that goddamn vault dweller in FO3. And as such, include where the character is from.

Make new versions of this everytime you play a different character. On the forums I stole this from, shit went crazy after two posts because of the variety of characters played.

Normal mode: See above

Hard Mode: The character is high and/or drunk.

Super hard mode: One of your evil characters is now your roommate

War Mode: Two characters from opposing factions you recently played are now your roommates.

Nightmare mode: More than one of your characters is now your roommate. Most recent-> Second most recent.-> Third most recent etc.

Super ultra horror nightmare mode from hell: All your recent characters are now your roommates. ALL OF THEM.

Wat Mode: Any character you just played. Example: I just played Halo, so Masterchief would now be my roommate.

I'll start as an example.

Normal Mode:
My roommate is a Russian Elf that calls himself Moscow Slim. A former KGB agent and former Pornstar turned Shadowrunner with PTSD. As long as he pays his share of the rent, and makes sure my apartment doesn't smell like sex&vodka all the goddamn time. There'll be no problems.
(Shadowrun Face/Covert Ops character. Considered a really sneaky fucking russian.)

Hard Mode:
- Jesus christ, stop trying to fuck the goddamn sofa.
- But it iz zo fuzzy ant zoft!
- I don't give a damn Mo-... Ohforcryingoutloud. Get your dick back in your pants and stop vomiting.
(Same as above)

Super Hard Mode:
Greedy goddamn Goblin sold all my stuff, burned down my apartment, claimed the insurance money and is now demanding rent for 3 months. FFFFFFFFFFF-
(Goblin Rogue, WoW)

War Mode:
I try to calm things down between my Worgen and Goblin Rogue. I fail horribly. I try to explain to the police why I have two corpses in my apartment. I fail horribly.

Nightmare Mode:
Female Paragon Shepard and Moscow Slim. Well shit. I'll never have a good nights sleep ever again. That and the occasional driveby, random Geth attack, evil megacorperation sending a killsquad, cops getting mad... Aw fuck this I'll just go live somewhere else.

Super ultra horror nightmare mode from hell:
My apartment turns into a warzone as all the Dark heresy characters I've recently played decides everything is HERESY and tries to kill everybody else. Then everything gets blown to hell because of an orbital bombardment. Que my social based Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor throwing a massive trollface in his personal starship.
Just to count the characters involved.
From Dark Heresy: Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor, Interrogator, Vindicare Assassin, Rank 1 Arbitrator, , Rank 7 Guardsman
Everything else: Paragon Femshep, Moscow Slim, Goblin and Worgen Rogue, lvl 25 Courier(F:NV)

Wat mode:
Russian Assault from BC2. As trigger happy as I am, I think I'd get shot.

Wat mode since I cba to think up the rest.

Arctic terrorist from CS:S.

I'm okay with this.

Going with normal mode here since I am tired.

Normal Mode: How the fuck did Captain Price get in here with a ghillie suit?!

Giving it a try!
Normal mode:
A insane gnome has moved into my house. After a couple of days he decided i wasnt anything to be worried about and stopped threatening me, this has instead made him start offering me drugs and sharing grand designs of what i think is a giant bomb.
Im a little worried about him constantly standing outside our house insulting, mugging, or trying to peddle his drugs to all who passes by.

Hard Mode:
The Gnome has been sitting in a corner all day with a retarded smirk on his face, i think it might be dead.

Super hard mode:
The gnome has decided to make me his student/bitch, im very very afraid.

War Mode:
The living room is now filled with mechanical creations which look like they will either blow up or turn me into a chicken, the Gnome and the Goblin seem to be having a all out technological showdown.

Nightmare mode:
A guy looking like he came straight out of the apocalypse itself has settled down in my living room with lots of irradiated food and water, he carries a scary amount of guns and ammo. He seems to only be doing nice stuff and has so far helped out most of the neighbourhood, only problem is he keeps stealing everything he sees.

Super ultra horror nightmare mode from hell: A race of parasites, humans and some half-robot blue guys are having a intergalatic war in and out of my house, the mystic stranger seems to be taking missions from all of them while taking everything everybody owns and selling it to god knows who, and the Goblin and Gnome have suddenly decided to work together on building what i can only assume will be the end of all life once its done

Normal mode: She just brought me a cup of tea. It smells funny...wait is this supposed to be this green? *deathgurgle*
(belf priest, wow)

Hard Mode: She's actually funny. She tells me about all the tea parties she has had. None of them included any tea. She also shows me an ancient, worn notebook with the names of atleast 500 guys she has banged. And for some reason, there are snakes in my apartment. Dozen of them.
(belf priest, wow)

Super hard mode: My room looks super clean, wtf? And why are the laces of all my shoes neatly tied up? also... why is there a drunk furry sleeping under my bed?
(Night elf druid, wow)

War Mode: I'm going to grab a bag of popcorn... human is running away from belf, screaming like a little girl while belf is slowly trying to smite her to death. Both pop into the kitchen occasionally, to drink some water. I'm going to get evicted if that chick doesn't stop screaming...
(belf priest, wow + human priest, wow)

Nightmare mode: belf gave up trying to kill everyone and is now instead filing her fingernails, completely ignoring others. Human is sitting in the corner, shivering from fear and mumbling nonsense. And I can't get any sleep because a goblin is explaining to me in detail how to make explosives from toothpaste and butter.
(belf priest, human priest, goblin shaman)

Super ultra horror nightmare mode from hell: Food and drinks made by the belf priest are banned. Luckily we have a peace loving tauren bear in the house so nobody wants to start a fight. We tied up a few blood elves and worgens, just to keep the atmosphere safe. Nelf druid seems suspicious, but we let her be, because she keeps frantically cleaning the house. I am running out of air - there are way too many of them in the apartment!


Wat Mode: wat?

Normal mode: She askes me loads of questions , i mean loads , about everything, at least she cooks well
(dreanie mage veshneta)

Hard Mode: Hyjacks my computer and refuses to get off it, if i were to try and get it back she would sink her teath ino my hand.

Super hard mode: the room suddenly smells as some half rotting thing lingers around trying to melt everyones mind and throws the occational bomb out of the window,Im to scared to try and restrain him incase his arm comes off
(undead mec priest)

War Mode: the whole house is filled with smoke, a palidin trying to bless the entier house and the priest trying to stab the paladin with his dagger constantly but fails to cut her armour, the two end up fighting, each paladins hammer swing disloging bricks from the walls
(human paladin shia)

Nightmare mode: The big dreanie paladin and a deathknight gang up and pin down the priest tying him up and putting stuff in its mouth to stop it casting any more spells, the paladin and dreanie get allong very well beffor the dk sees something outside and unleashes an army of undead inside the house taring the place to bits

Super ultra horror nightmare mode from hell:a chaos dreadnaought walks past the house having seeen the add,.. it takes one look at the house in turmoul and fires a single lasscannon shot into the house, nothing is left

Wat Mode: my human paladin, on her own is very timid and shy when not ynder threat,.. she keeps herself to herself mostly,.. some polite convo happens

Normal mode: My room smells of rotten eggs, and to be frank that decayed girl scares the crap out of me. She hisses each time she speaks and I barely understand what she tries to say, not only because she's plain daft but also because of the holes in her face. Also ... if she tries to touch my hair or hug me one more time, I'm going to vomit. Maybe that might happen due to the fact that she carries around rotten EARS aswel ... please let me wake up soon, this MUST be a nightmare. (UD, priest, Wow)

Hard Mode: She suddenly started screaming something about the voices in her head being angry at her, I'm not sure but that purple shadow coming from her hands kinda freaks me out. (UD, priest, Wow)

Super hard mode: So those voices ... seem like they were not a good thing, the stupid stinking girl now glows purple and dark, I've decided to hide in my closet because she said something about burning my face off ... rather not.(UD, priest, Wow)

War Mode: I am -so- glad this young human girl came to join us, seemed a bit fed up with the presence of the .. well .. zombiechick but reluctantly allows her presence. Now that she has calmed down she has decided that she prefers the hair of the new girl, I'm of the hook!
(UD priest, Human argent crusader)

Nightmare mode: This is starting to look like a freaking sleepoverparty, girls everywhere. The latest addition was sceptic about the place, not big or fancy enough. Stupid arrogant bitch, damn I hate those. But hey she seemed usefull atleast! She somehow managed to do something flashy with her hands which took away the screaming fits from the rotten girl. Pretty girl went off once she got shown the rotten ears however, which made the young one laugh in amusement.
I really have no idea what to do with this ... such a madhouse.


Super ultra horror nightmare mode from hell: I'll just .. go sleep at my parents. Those human girls are great and are keeping the undead one under controll but ... once one of them saw the latter, she went .. SHE CHANGED INTO A FRIKKING WEREWOLF, I'm OUT of here!! Not to mention ... that big tusk lady, a Troll? She looked at me funny with a hungry gaze. Let them eat eachother, I don't care but I'm making sure I aint on the menu! I considered staying when some pretty American-English lady in full black leathers was trying to talk to them all, and for some reason all went silent and the situation became a lot calmer but it didnt last long so, I'll go pack some stuff in a hurry if you don't mind. Maybe that black haired elf will have blown things up before one can be eaten, I saw her working on some suspicious looking device in the corner of the room, looked alot like a sheep if I may add.
(Three human, an undead, a troll, two belfs, one worgen, one Cat-shaman from Shadowrun


Wat Mode: Well ... only WoW toons so ... meeeeeeeeeeh

Normal mode: My room now smells of rotten flesh, and weed. It's not mine, or his, the flesh at least. I think he killed a unicorn or something. God damn troll.

Hard Mode: Nothing much new. Couple more dead unicorns.

Super hard mode: She hasn't come out of that room for days now. DAYS. The noises! If it's not moaning, it's screaming! WHATEVER THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THERE, I WANT IN.

War Mode: Day number four. There's nothing left to hide behind. They only take breaks when they run out of ammunition. The sound of M16's and sniper fire has just sunk into the background. (MEC Sniper and USMC assault from BF2 >.>)

Nightmare mode: The troll and the elf have decided to gang up against the human. The screaming stopped a couple of minutes ago, and the elf has gone back into her corner to grumble some more. I've not seen the troll... What's that smell? Chicken? oh. Shit.


Super ultra horror nightmare mode from hell:
A drugged up troll, several terrorists, counter terrorists, russians, US marines, royal marines, taliban, and vietnamese soldiers, a crazy sniper gnome and a scary fucking shadow elf woman. This could get awesome very quickly.

Normal Mode
This strange, tall, big and sharpteethed, GREEN woman showed up at my door some days ago. Since then I haven't been able to sleep since from the moment she set eyes on me she's been trying to kill me. I'm happy the only thing she has is a kitchen knife not ballanced for throwing, and that I'm fairly good at dodging and running the crap away. (Not counting knowing more hiding places).
Only time I saw it sleep I tried to bash the head in with a frying pan. Skull must be made out of steel, or something! Slammed it down hard, but instead of bashing the skull in it made a loud sound, and then the monster was snarling and comming after me. Would have gotten me if she could have jumped straight.

Shit, she's comming, I need a window too jump out off!
(My orc huntress, she... doesn't like humans)

Hard Mode
It's been two days now I've been in this cage. That green monster sitting outside of it, poking me with a stick and giggling. At times bringing me water that I don't think I would drink if I wasn't so darn thirsty.
Worst part is, the key is in the lock! But I can't get out since I bet the moment I do she'll go for one of those combat knives at her feet!
(same as above)

Super Hard Mode
The fellow presented himself really nice. Charming, seemed handsome to some. A real nice guy. Only, the sounds I've heard... the things I think I've seen. The things I'm afraid might happen to me if I don't lock my door at night and then block it with a closet...
(My Hunter: TV character that was. Not that much of a nice fellow. Member of a nice organisation I'll nickname AA, and nothing about annonomus or alcoholics in it).

War Mode
So, one day ago this place just was fantastic looking. Then the first flatmate shows up. Really nice guy, maybe a bit seemingly like he'd never touch an ounce of housework.
Then, the green monster comes.
Who attacks us, starting chasing me! Until the other guy suddenly emerges from his room, with a big bloody hunting rifle in his hands and starts shooting! I think I saw him hit her hand, not sure if it was luck or aimed! The monter turns, and charges him instead! I jumped out of a second floor window, the last sight I saw was he turing the rifle to use it as a bat.
I'm glad I'm out of there... I need something far stronger than what exists to drink.

(The characters above together. One orc who hates humans, the other a psycotic hunter of supernatrual creatures. Match made in heaven)

Super Ultra Horror Nightmare Mode From Hell
I... didn't think this many people would fit in here. But look, it did!
True, I think some of these might be corpses by now. Maybe I should unluck the bathroomdoor and check.
Last I knew that, really hot, yet stern chick with a shaved head was sitting in a corner chatting with that dude with chissled good looks, babbling in some gibberish tongue. Him at times looking at people across the room and taking notes in a note book, both of them with long ears. The otherside of the room a blackcloaked figure kept looking at them, I think red eyes from a pale face having a strange look in them.
A really sweet young girl was being led into a room by a goodlooking fellow that really, gave me the chills the way he looked at things and worried me. That made the long eared fellow with the notes looks up and take more notes.
There was... a tall gangly thing with long tusks... I think it might have been some form of troll. Whatever! He was sitting in the kitchen, and had already emptied the kitchen of everything and i think he was contemplating either eating a chair, or killing me with the huge freaking sword on his back. Another being, that looked alot like it but female I had earlier seen sneeking into a closet. I think she went there to hide. That had ofcourse been seen by that long ear, who I think smiled and took a note of it!
In the corner a greenskinned thing kneeled. Eying the room with suspicion. Across her knees where a bow that seemed to have razors along the edges and knives sticking out. No one went near her. But I think I saw something pale, kinda transparent next to her. And I know I saw her mouth moving from time to time.
I really wish I could stay in here, but I've been inside this small bathroom for three days now and I really need to eat...

(In order of mentioning: (Belf, Helanie. Belf, Retired spellbreaker seeking to become a novelist, Albino Drow warlock, My human lock, the psycotic hunter from SH-Mode, My troll warrior (ganye) and my troll priest (Otwa). Muzjhath, the ghost being Marogg.)

Wat Mode
Yesterday, this really strange blocky guy moved in. Now I'm afraid to move from my bed. Bookshelves have multiplied, I've heard strange explosions outside during the night, and I think that from the corner of my room and the hole he dug I see, and smell, a torch. He's been digging down with a pickaxe, been comming up, opened a window and then thrown out what must have been TONS of rock through it. Without having anywhere to carry it!
He's set up a work table, a furnance, and several chest that he fills with things. I think that my room might be bigger it was a few minutes ago aswell, if more blocky . . .
(Minecraft character)

Normal mode:
So...I quite like this old man. He doesn't seem -too- crazy. Although he accent is bloody annoying! Sounds like a Scot...God, I hate Scots...
So he's started asking me for my blood, I'm kinda scared now, so I decided to make a border! One half of the room is mine and the other half his...He can do whatever the hell he likes, but I'm not getting involved in this satanic shit.

Hard Mode:
HOLY CRAP!
THIS GUY IS AN AWESOME DRUNK!
Totally need to get smashed with him more often...You wouldn't think he was in his sixties the way he puts those pints away! Dayam, I wish I can do that when I'm his age.

Super hard mode:
GET ME OUTTA HERE! I'm tied to a bed. Covered in my own blood...God, I've lost a finger! WHY!
No, no, no! Don't come over here with those knives!
<Insert extremely graphical violence with religious ritual, ending in my long drawn out death>

War Mode:
How the hell does that guy keep his head upstraight with those...tusks, I think, growing out of him...God, what the actual hell? He's blue! And the old guy keeps looking at him oddly...I think the Troll interests him more than he interests me...Something to do with his blood? Heck do I know, but the they like sharing that chemistry set. Clearly they're not that hostile towards eachother, merely, fascinated.

Nightmare mode:
Finally! Someone decent has arrived! The nephew of the old man, it seems...And damn am I happy to see someone that doesn't seem to want to eat me, or cut me open...
But still, this guy is a religious nutjob! Keeps praying to someone called Suxen, whilst the old guy glares at him...
The Troll's now dead though, poor guy, the younger dude charged him down and smashed him to bits. Pity really, but atleast he seems calm now. The real nightmare is that this guy just stole my girlfriend, got her pregnant, then dumped her for someone else! Damn prick.

Super Ultra Horror Nightmare Mode From Hell:
I AM NOT PAYING THE RENT THIS MONTH!
The Troll got into a fight with the younger scot, an' te new guy.
AND THE NEW GUY TURNED INTO A WOLF!
Totally -destroyed- the carpet and curtains...Fuck, I'll lose my deposit...
Meanwhile, the old guy's stuck in his room with some chick my age, I hear screams, but I'm not getting involved.
His nephew seems ok about it, like he knew this would happen...But oh well, not like I'm breaking the law or anything...
New guy seems ok, apart from when he loses his temper, he's an ok cook and has a nice accent, pretty local I think, although his customs are foreign.
I wish some chicks would move in tho', this is turning into a sausage fest.
Whata'nightmare. *sighs*
---

I'mma leave it there.


Wat Mode: Any character you just played. Example: I just played Halo, so Masterchief would now be my roommate.

Maybe later I'll do the whole thing, I know one thing though: Whether it is Cerr (she maybe the least), Kedran (I'd be violently murdered), or Antistia (Manipulated to do as she wants), I'm fucked.

Normal mode: *My RL Name*, the 18 year old first line sniper of the Vancouver Canucks in year 2009 is my roomie. He brings in loads of money, is a generally cool bro and when I have sex with him it's masturbation, not gay.

Normal mode: This cold chick moved in. She's just glaring at me. Sometimes she smirks and mumbles something while looking at me. Our apartment smells like armour polish and there's like... a little collection of fangs in a shelf that kinda scares me. She's polite enough and not really at home much. She gets up really early in the mornings and go for runs and stuff and that always wake me up, though.
(Meralynn, human)

Hard Mode: Omg. She is soooo wasted. She just started to talk in a south-american accent and tried to drill me!
(Meralynn, Human)

Super hard mode: I am scared. A woman covered in scars and tattos is sitting here and smirking at me, calling me a little fish and looking right through me. She fondles some daggers and forces me to give her things! help me!!!
(Ayine, human)

War Mode: This fat, bald dude moved in. I can't really make out what he's saying, but he seems excited over the cat and smells icky. And then this... long-eared dude moved in a couple of days after and he keeps hitting at me. AND the bald guy. He scares me and smells even ickier. Vomit, sweat and filth. And he drinks all the time. Things are getting a bit tense around here.
(Billiam, human and Caspher, blood elf)

Nightmare mode: The army girl is in full war with that cute little peasant girl with the headband. They are throwing insults around, gets into fights and I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT! And then there's this confused, rather fat elder woman who has way too much lipstick who keeps walking into my room and going through my wardrobe. She was mopping the roof the other day. I am going mad.
(Meralynn, human, Ashla, human and Menyet, human)

Super ultra horror nightmare mode from hell: HELP ME! I have a very unhealthy looking woman walking around here dropping body parts and trying to predict my future and yelling at her pet frog! And then some blue skinned woman with tusks that scares the hell out of me, looking at me as if she's thinking up recipes. A couple of beggars has occupied my hallway, that drunk guy with the long ears is flirting shamelessly with everyone and everything, the scary chick robbed and molested a black-haired man who slept with at least four women in here. A purple lady with long ears and a blonde braid that looks scruffy is hiding under the couch and another sits in a corner, snarling at people and eating beef in fine robes. There's blood everywhere, people are screaming, someone moved the freezer to the bathroom and my bed smells like vanilla cream!

(around half of all the characters i have ever RPed in wow)

Normal mode: My apartment have been turned in to some sort of communist-tactical Head Quarter. Actually they've siezed the entire house. One fella seems to be in charge of them all, classic split personality case. Scottish and Russian, yhea.. There is menacing banners hanging out from all the windows, some of them with his ugly face on them. Short and fat he prounced around here in some military suit like he was goin for a parade or something, betcha' he isn't even a real soldier. My alcohol supply is long gone, he took all that, with some stupid excuse about it being for the greater good of the people.
Some of his goons, local jocks he must have managed to convince to join his cause down at the pubs, where in here the other day and stole all my stuff too, in the name of, guess what, the people. Left me only with a scrawny, sorry excuse for a bed and the absolute essentials.
I hear them talking through the nights, about some great revolution or something, and he the fat one, Gogol they call him do love the sound of his own voice.

It's not that everything is bad about him, there's been some messed up parties, and the girls, well there seem to be no limit of them. One out, two in. But Gogol? He just keeps talking on and on about his political belifs, how he want's to change every god dam thing. How the royals must be overthrown, by blood.
I mean I belive I'm fairly in tune with our political scene and all, but sometimes you just gota be allowed to sit back and watch a movie. I wonder if he has ever done that? If he ever actually -dont- work.

They have taken my bed now, did'n even bother to tell me why.


Hard Mode: Senator? That's what they call him? He's been blurring his words a bit today, nothing really odd about that. Other than that, all is normal. But I have my eyes on him. He has found my book about the young Joseph Stalin, seems to intrest him a lot.

Super hard mode: Senator Marshal Gogol Irondawn. Fancy title.. I'v managed to get my hands on a letter adressed for him. The things in here, it's like..

Well he once killed a man with a guitar string
He's been seen at the table with kings
Well he once saved a baby from drowning
There are those who say beneath his coat there are wings
Some say they fear him
Others admire him
Because he steals his promise
One look in his eye
Everyone denies
Ever having met him
Ever having met him

Who the fuck put that Waits tune on? Someone is here with me, but it can't be them, sure they passed out a hour ago in the other room after finnishing what was left of my vodka.

--
I'll get to the next part later.

Normal mode: My roommate seems to be a really bad ass chick, she never speaks about herself or her past. She is rarely around but when she is she works out really hard or clean her guns. She sleeps with her 9mm gun and keeps 50 cal silenced sniperrifle under her bed. She rigged our door with a tripwire to a smoke granade. By some some strange reason she seem to have thousands and thousands of capsules.
(Sonya, my Fallout 3 character.)

Hard Mode: She brews her own stuff, and seems to be addicted to it. claiming someone called "Whisky rose" thought her how to drink. She rarely loose control, but if she does she shoots at people with her sniper screaming to herself "die uggly ghoul"

Super hard mode: He is a good friend of mine, when he is arround he gives me alot of attention and seem to be very interested in my life. We even went to church together once. But then one day he brought one of his female friends home and she tortured me and killed me afterwards.
(Archidor,WoW)

Normal mode: My warlock, Diaspora. She's on a normal server but I always see her as being utterly insane at the best of times. Almost certainly she would have tried to burn the curtains "because it might look pretty"

Hard Mode: She failed to burn the curtains due to her short attention span. Her reflection in the mirror startled her and now she is having a drinking game against the doppleganger, who appears to be winning. Her succubus, Sarna, is watching intently but with slight exasperation at the abject stupidity of her beloved master. But Diaspora is drunk...its probably a good idea to just let her be!

Super hard mode: I guess here it would have to be Olearia, as while Diaspora is a nut-case, she's "mostly harmless" and is generally a nice person. Olearia is of questionable ethics. If I'm not already dead or severely beaten, I'm cowering in the corner of a freezing room that she blasted to below zero.

War Mode: Diaspora and Olearia are going at each other. I'm in another country. It's safer that way...I might keep most of my limbs too!

Nightmare mode: Olearia and Diaspora will probably be at each others throats, probably because Olearia tried to kill Sarna (she has a dislike for demons, humans, most living and undead people and largely anyone not Sin'Dorei) and Diaspora took offense to that. I imagine the war from before might just have continued. My room would be incinerated if by some miracle the building was still standing. My druid, Shizukana, and priest, Elision, would likely be playing a nice game of chess in the background while generally tut-tutting the other two under all-out-war. I'm now on the other side of the world.

Super ultra horror nightmare mode from hell: If Diaspora and Olearia have finished having their little hissy fits they might actually be good friends (though that would rely on Olearia fully understanding the concept of 'friend') then I might just have made it through alive. If so there might be some daisy chains being made, with only a handful of lambs being sacrificed (as gnomes are hard to find in the real world). If not, well, I'd probably be little more than a splodge on the floor. A splodge that both Shizukana and Elision tried desperately hard to save/resurrect, but there just wouldn't have been enough of me left after that last 'Hand of Guldan' meteor landed on me (just after the Infernal).

Wat Mode: I'd run off with my female paragon Shepard (Mass Effect). Then I get to play in space, and as we all know, space is cool.

Normal Mode: FFffffffffuuuuuuuuuuu. My new room-mate is a fanatical pretentious piece of crap who tries to enforce his religion onto me. It gets more horrible by the minute. Comitting suicide in 3...2...1..

Normal Mode: My new room-mate is suffering from a failing liver and on some heavy medication for Skitzophrenia. He hears strange sounds claims to be chased by the undead and seems to exist soley on a diet of fruit. Worse part is after taking his pills he turns fucking hyper and runs around the house like he's chasing something until the meds wear off..

Normal mode:
Oshit. Oshit. Oshit. Some kind of dead looking guy with a meanstreak ten miles wide just moved in. He's asking me questions about some woman named Fatima, the Masquerade, Elder monsters and whatever the fuck not. I think he's crazy. He looks dead, has freaky damn eyes and claims he's the sheriff of the town I live in. I better call the police..
(Tor Eriksson, Gangrel Sheriff I larp)

Hard Mode:
Jesus holy mother of mercy. He's drunk off his ass, and is murdering the fuck out of my apartment. I hope he doesn't find me in the cupboard.

Super hard mode:
HOLYFUCK! Some kind of huge Darth Vader/Doctor Doom/Terminator wannabe just crashed through my wall, screamed his name is Purgatus or someshit and is demanding that he lives here. He's now asking questions about "heretics" "blasphemers" "mutants" and if I have sinned recently. He's been casting hateful looks at the sheriff guy and I think he's going to "purge" him.
(Purgatus, villain of my current DH campaign. A huge ass amalgation of Dr. Doom, Darth Vader and The Terminator. In power armor.)

War Mode: J
ust when I thought things couldn't get more crazy, a steely eyed blonde woman moved in under the authority of the immortal god-emperor of mankind. She's wearing somekind of witch hunter outfit, and I think she's trying to set Purgatus on fire.
(Magdalena Cyrine, Ordo Hereticus Interrogator. From the same campaign as Purgatus.)

Nightmare mode:
While the other three are trying to kill eachother in various gruesome ways, an italian Dante/Ezio-lookalike shows up, woo's Magdalena or whatever she's called, sneaks off to my bedroom with her and thats the last I see of him for the rest of the day.
Ohgodwhatthefuckisgoingon.
(Armand Remi Di'Drusillas. A bodyguard for one of the players in my DH campaign.)

Super ultra horror nightmare mode from hell:
My apartment gets stormed by some dudes in black armour claiming they are from the Holy Inquisition or something. I did not expect them. The next thing I know is that someone shoots and rpg through my window, and someone screams something about "Fuck Aubray!". I run like hell when they start shooting eachother and get the hell outta town. The news later reports that my home city is somekind of warzone between "unidentified fighters".
(The Inquisition just started having a massive turf war in my home.)

Wat Mode:
I watch the news later that day, to see that some guy called Duke Nukem kicked everyones collective asses and saved the day. Hail to the king, baby!

I've played way too much Dark Heresy the past days.

Normal Mode:
A freaking small person with a weird jungle hat just moved in. He's constantly sneaking around and speaking with shady people. He has also hidden boxes all over the place, I wonder what's in them.

Hard Mode:
He doesn't seem to be so bad after all, he even gave me some candy! Oh, what's that? A syringe or something? Iiiiih! Get off me!

Super Hard Mode:
I've become a test subject for his crazy inventions and chemicals. Eh.. Who turned off the light? And why has my hair started falling off?

War Mode:
Last night he carved words into my skin with heated up daggers, ouch.. Oh and then he cut up my skin and fed me with it.

Nightmare Mode:
Right.. My eyes have been melted away, I'm bald, I've eaten my own skin, he has written crazy stuff all over my body with a dagger.. Can this get any worse? .. HOLY ****!!! Okay.. All that's left of me now is my head and stomache/chest.. I think he used my arms and legs to make dinner for himself.

Super ultra horror nightmare mode from hell:
I think I'm about to die.. He has taken out my organs and sold some of them to people for a cheap coin, while he used the rest for his own crazy experiments.

Wat Mode:
*Drugged* Oh.. fancy colors.. I.. I think I'm just going to.. Take a little nap over here..

(Antle, a crazy gnomish alchemist, criminal and inventor)

Normal mode: Normally I feel rather tall but next to this scary "woman" I feel like an imp. If I just ignore the tusks, sharp teeth and claws for a moment she still scares the shit out of me. I don't understand a word of the language she speaks, the hissing and snarling isn't really making it easier to understand. She prowls around like a predator, and never takes those creepy yellow eyes of me. Clearly she is only here because she had little to no other choise, I think if it was up to her I'd be burned long ago. She keeps manipulating small balls of fire in her hand, the other one mostly rests on her stomach, eyeing me with a warning glare. I want to get out of here ... I swear she is about to kill me, I can tell by that crazy feral look she has.

Hard Mode: Ok .. I am going to make sure this one never gets sober, she just sits infront of a small altar now (eeew are that SKULLS?) and keeps chanting in that horrible language she speaks, totally out of the world I swear in some sort of trance I think. But I don't think I'm going to get those bloodstains out of my carpet again, she slashed her own palm open with one of those tusks for her creepy little ritual when she started to drift off.

(Naj'wah, troll of the Empire)