‘He’s a snake, he’s a wolf and he’s a coward’ (Ledgic)

FYI: I haven't written much lately due to writer's block, so I apologise if this isn't of very good quality!

‘He’s a snake, he’s a wolf and he’s a coward’


‘You can keep running’

‘No, really, you can keep running if that’s really how you want to waste your time’

‘The shadows that chase you are in your blood, wrapped around your heart and swirling in your mind. You cannot escape what you are, no matter how far you run.’


The bay had been strangely quiet; the night had almost taken over, as if it was strangling the life out of the land below. Ledgic stirred in his bed before slowly opening his eyes. What he saw was darkness, with the smallest crack of moonlight dripping in from a crack in the roof of his home.

He spent many a night in the past weeks like this, waking up after a short period of sleep, being haunted by what most would call nightmares, and yet he knew better than they. He had taken the memories of his father and uncle into his mind to spare a man he had grown to dislike, to spare anyone else the suffering that came with the acts of his clan’s leaders.

He had suffered in their stead, even if the reality of the matter was that he had merely caused himself discomfort without a cause. Earlier that night he had sat with his wife and removed the memories from his mind with a shadow technique that Eothan had devised, the man he had taken the memories from in the first place. The removal of those memories had left him with a strange sense of emptiness, as though he had grown used to the dark deeds of his father, replaying themselves over and over inside his mind.

He sat up and peered toward the dimly lit doorway to the balcony, it would seem that the night had even suffocated the moon. A night so thick that no light could pierce it easily, a night that reminded him of the village. With that thought he raised an eyebrow and turned to look down at the bed, he let out a sigh at the sight of the bed being empty.

Surely Annie wouldn’t have left in the middle of the night, not what after happened mere hours before it?

‘She’s gone fella’

Ledgic’s head shot up sharply and he peered at the dimly lit doorway once again, a shrouded figure could be seen there now. A man in a battle torn mesh of leather and cloth, a cigarette hanging from the left side of his mouth. Ledgic cleared his throat and watched as the smoke streamed from the cigarette, vanishing almost instantly as it left the comfort of the moonlight.

‘cha’ mean she’s gone? Where?’ said Ledgic as he narrowed his eyes. He knew he was at a distinct disadvantage in this situation. He wasn’t aware of the man’s intentions and beneath the cloth he slept under; there was a simple pair of cloth trousers. He wasn’t even armed, not a situation Ledgic often found himself in.

‘Don’ ye worry, I couldn’ ‘urt ye even if I wan’ed ta’. Though, I s’pose I do wanna kill ye pretty bad, but it wouldn’ do me na’ good-‘ said the figure, before being interrupted.

‘Th’feck is Annie, wha’ve ye done?’

The figure chuckled quietly as some smoke escaped his mouth in short bursts. ‘I didn’ do shit mate, she left ye. They all did y’know?’ he said.

Ledgic peered down at his hands for a moment, before ripping the blanket away from him and getting out of the bed. The chill of the cold floor was biting against the soles of his feet, the chill of the night far more piercing than it had ever been before. He tensed his jaw with each step until he was stood before the figure. He narrowed his eyes as the figure smirked widely, before removing the cigarette from his mouth and flicking out over the balcony.

‘Yer lyin’ Ledgic muttered quietly. He gotten out of the bed with the sole intention of punching this man in the mouth, but it was quickly becoming apparent whom he was talking to.

‘Out o’ th’two o’ us mate, yer th’only one lyin’ t’yerself. I’m pretty honest, reckon we always should ‘ave, eh?’ said the figure as he pulled his hood down, revealing a face that Ledgic knew incredibly well.

‘They all left ye ‘cause y’finally stop bull shittin’ yerself an’ stepped up t’th’plate. Ye n’ me? We finally became one, jes like we were always s’posed ta’.

Ledgic stood and stared at the man’s face, it’s lines, scars and history. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists, even with the removal of his memories the nightmares hadn’t stopped. This was different, though, this was far worse than he’d ever had it. This nightmare wasn’t simply the shadows that hounded him; this was the shadow that echoed from him with every step.

‘Figured it ou’, eh? Y’see… ye got tired o’ everythin’, tired o’ bein’ weak, tired o’ playin’ ‘ouse wit’ Annie n’ those kids. ‘eck, y’even got tired o’ Vale, y’broke all of ‘em y’know?’

Ledgic opened his eyes and stared at himself, the man he was apparently to become. There wasn’t much difference between them; he could see that much from his face alone. But the ragged armour and weapons… he was truly to become the Caan he was always meant to be.

‘I’d never do tha’, na’ in a million years would I do tha’. I’m na’ like any o’ those Caans, y’ear me? I ain’ scared o’ me’ ‘eart’ said Ledgic, almost bitingly, each word being thrown from his mouth in a snarling fashion.

The man let out another quiet chuckle, lifting a hand to cover his mouth as the laughter grew. Ledgic narrowed his eyes and threw back his arm, before launching a clenched fist toward the man’s face. He winced as his fist hit the thick wooden wall, a thick black smoke all that remained, twirling around his arm.

‘Th’feck d’ye think sits in yer ‘eart, Led? Ye n’ Annie or is it ye n’ Vale? I’ll let ye in on a lil’ somethin’, it ain’ either o’ ‘em’.

Ledgic turned around to stare at his Caan self, he had appeared behind him and the smirk splattered across his face was sickening. Ledgic peered down at his arm for a moment, the thick black smoke still swirling around his arm.

As he peered up at the man again he noticed an immediate change his face. The smirk had disappeared and replaced itself with fury; even his eyes seemed to darken, as if he was made entirely of rage. Ledgic blinked and quickly turned his head to look at the moon, as the pale light that barely illuminated them so far suddenly switched to a dark red. His eyes widened as he stared at the moon, it had taken the same colour.

‘I sit inside yer ‘eart, Ledgic. An’ trust me, I get a lo’ darker n’ this, I’m th’Caan ye know yer meant t’be. Y’see me sometimes, y’know. I’m yer rage, yer strength, yer fear an’ feck it fella, I’m th’one thin’ tha’ lets y’keep goin’ everyday’

Ledgic turned away from the moon and grinded his teeth as the black smoke clamped down and wrapped itself around his arm. He stared at what he was to become, it’s sharp edges, it’s rage and it’s blood soaked path.

‘Y’can’t deny it, can ye? Ye’ve always known abou’ me, ye’ve jes done yer best t’keep it inside. I mean, feck, ye could ‘ardly leave th’village –then- become th’Caan, could ye? Tha’d jes make ye look stupid, ye’ve stuck t’bein’ th’dark anti ‘ero, s’beautiful’ said the figure with a hissing chuckle, the noise ringing loudly through Ledgic’s ears.

Ledgic closed his eyes at the ringing in his ears, wincing very slightly at the now searing pain in his arm. He cleared his throat as the black smoke seeped into his arm, like a cloth soaking up water. He just wanted to wake up, he wanted to go back to where he belonged, and in the face of his blood soaked potential, he knew that he belonged next to Annie.

‘Ye can say anythin’ y’like, mate. It ain’ like yer tellin’ me anythin’ I don’ a’ready know’ said Ledgic as he opened his eyes and stared at that which believed itself to be the future. ‘I’m never leavin’ any of ‘em, an’ definitely na’ t’become ye’ he stated bluntly.

‘I migh’ be weaker than ye, but I’m better n’ ye. I’ve got everythin’ ye could never ‘ave, an’ all ye’ve got t’boast abou’ is bein’ alone, a twisted piece o’ shi’ wit’ nothin’ t’comfort ‘im but th’owlin’ o’ wolves n’ th’rivers o’ blood tha’ ye bathe in. I am an’ will always stand fer everythin’ yer na’, I’ll always be th’boy tha’ run, an’ I’m feckin’ proud o’ it’ said Ledgic as he leaned his head a little to the side, a wide smirk covering his face.

‘I’ll always be ‘ere, Ledgic. Ye can’t run from me, I’ll always be inside yer ‘eart, jes waitin’ fer th’next person t’come alon’ n’ break it. It’ll prob’ly be Annie, eh? Ain’ like Vale can break it anymore than she ‘as, an’ once it breaks inta’ enough pieces… I’ll pour outta ye like nothin’ ye’ve ever felt befer’ barked the Caan.

‘When tha’ time comes, I’ll kneel n’ admit defeat. But don’ go ‘opin’ too ‘ard’ said Ledgic as he swiftly lifted his right arm and slammed an open palm into the figure’s face. He clamped his around the man’s face and squeezed as hard as he could.

‘Go back t’where y’feckin’ belong. Th’village in me’ ‘eart, go lead yer lil’ clan’ he muttered before the light of the moon returned to it’s pale norm.

--

Ledgic opened his eyes and lifted his head from his pillow; he looked around the illuminated room. The moon had beaten the darkness of the night, just as he had managed to at least delay the howling of his shadows. He rested his head against the pillow again and turned his head to look at Annie.

It obviously hadn’t been a violent nightmare, she was still sleeping soundly. He smirked slightly and rolled onto his side and as he very gently rested his forehead against hers, he knew that perhaps some better days were in store for him, even if those shadows would never leave him, even if he would always have to fear himself.

There were many sides of Ledgic Caan; he was simply determined to stamp out the one that would take everything away from him.

Tonight, he just wanted to be a man.

While I understand how it is to be rusty with writing all too well, I really liked this one - partly because I have very much missed your stories, but also the ideas in it are so interesting. (Writing wise there are a few places where it' choppy, yes, but it's pretty good.) Gave me the shivers a bit, if I'm honest.

The flow is of the story is lovely - uncovering bit by bit who Led is speaking to, the light ending up as blood - things that give it a proper dreamlike quality and yet allow for it to all still make sense. As always, I love stories about Led's mind 'n struggles and Caans. Awesomeness.