8. Adenah Thorgint: Twisted shadows and spirits

“Yil Iladora Minder”

It was -his- voice that spoke these words to her, -his- hand that kept a hold of her throat while she dangled of the edge. Adenah tried her best to keep her mind clear to not forget this place was filled with illusions with the sole purpose to torment her. But it didn't soothe the ache in her chest, she saw her father's face underneath the helmet and it felt like an icecold grip around her heart when his fingers slipped and she fell.
She braced herself for the landing, the pain that would inevitably come to wreck her body from such a long drop down. All the while trying to erase the image out of her head of her father tossing her down the large towering spire. But it did not come, not like she expected.

With a sudden terror gripping her heart she took in the changed scene before her, a scene that ripped through her heart and shredded it to pieces. Before her own eyes, inside her own bedroom was Jarren ontop of Ari. One sentence pounded inside her head, she clinged onto it as if it was her last resort of sanity. “This is not real, this is not real”
Like some form of constant drumming she kept repeating it to herself while the emotions surged through her, devastated her from the hurtful and crushing scene of her love being tangled into the embrace of another. His words cutting right through her soul and making the young magan crumble bit by bit.
Under no circumstances she would stay, her fists rammed the door in utter desparation, her mind slipping like sand thought her fingers with the pain weakening her to hold on. To keep remembering that none of this was real. How could something not be real when it hurt so much?

Adenah fell, again, facefirst past the door that had her locked in the room to witness one of her greatest fears, one of her greatest weaknesses. After everything that had happened before, in this cold and dark place she couldn't hold on any longer. She had stood her ground after she held the corpse of her bleeding, dead mother to keep going. She had yelled at the voice that kept echoing around her. Even burned Timna, the illusion that had tried to sway her mind to betray her faith and abandon her belief in Suxen and the Ancestors. Burned the woman she had seen as a sister. Even if not real, the actions were done and the ashes had fallen right before her own eyes.
She fought past the crowds of Voidsworn, by the side of her father but she was weak. In this world she did not rely on her usual powers. There always had been something to hold on to. Or perhaps this time it was too much for her heart to bear. Detached from her body, she felt like she was no longer herself and she was trapped in a world created by the darkest creature ever known. Spawned from hatred, betrayal, the shadows. Phelgas.

There was nowhere she could go from here, he orchestrated every step she was allowed to take and she didn't know how to return to her body. Nor would she go without him, without Faralan. She came for him and she'd leave -with- him. How much longer would she have to endure this? Being trapped infront of a door with no way out? Jarren's sobs wrecked through her and she wanted to rush back inside to comfort him but she couldn't. He wasn't the real Jarren, he was with another.

Curled up in a ball Adenah tried to lock out the sounds coming from inside the room, both her arms wrapped around her head with her knees tugged to her chest. She lost grip of time and space, her mind slipping further away in the warping illusions created to break her.

And they did, no matter how hard she tried to not let go of the one bit of hope remaining to remember that none of this was real, she couldn't cope with the sounds from inside the room. The sobbing had subsided and for only a brief moment Adenah had hoped that her torment was over. Only to be thrown back into the icecold grip of devastation making itself master of her heart.
It was his voice, his words. The sounds of their pairing, it all sounded too real. Her suffer was real.
There was only so much she could take and she could hear him cry out to Ari.
"Ari... all that time an' I never bothered t'do this... I never stopped wantin' ye, though. Back 'ome, down 'ere. Even with -'er-, I thought o'ye. I love ye. I always did."

Adenah choked on her own breath, weeping on the floor before looking back up, staring at the door in disbelief with the tears staining her face. A fear that had been lingering deep inside of her ever since the girl from the mountains had come down to Stromgarde. She had never wanted to let it come to mind, never wanted to allow herself to even think of these things.But she couldn't help herself, she had been betrayed once. Left to fall apart from the pain it had caused her. And now she sat here, forced to listen to her love declare his feelings to -her-.
With a howling cry the woman rammed herself into the door, hammering her fists into the wooden frame to yell, beg and plea. Each word leaving her throat in a strangled sobbing.
“Jarren MIDOR! .. Please! I never betrayed you! .. I love ... I love you!... Don't!!!”
Of course he did not hear her, but such thoughts were far from Adenah's grasp by now, all she wanted was him to stop. All she wanted was to get away from them, get him away from her.

It did not stop, minutes and hours passed. Slipped away as she hung defeated against the door and cried in despair. Not even her worst nightmares had caused her so much pain. How much more would she have to withstand? How much more could this hurt?

"Ari. I kept gettin' scares with tha'Thorgint slut. I don' want t'do it that way with ye. I want t'make ye my wife, soon as I can. An' I want t'put a baby in ye. 'cause I love ye."

It was too much, in horror Adenah clawed her hands into the door and remained frozen. Her nails broken and leaving bloodied trails from her previous attempts to break through. He wanted to be her husband? Have her children? After all this time, their fights ... with her he didn't want.
All common sense of reality had left her, the only thing remaining was the cold and dark sorrow of losing what she loves. She had trusted him, opened up again to allow her feelings to blossom only to be betrayed once more. Had she been blind, allowing herself to be fooled by another that simply threw away her heart? Adenah couldn't stand it, falling down as her strenght faded with her head resting against the door with wrecking sobs shaking her entire body. But she did not pass out, she was not allowed to find a moment of escape or solace.
Forced to witness it all, over and over again. She couldn't keep herself together, broke down to pieces at every word, every sound that reached her ears from his lips. Their passionate cries and declarations of love and committment. Her voice had given up long ago, each word she tried to speak to beg him to stop was nothing but a raspy whimper. Her words choking inside her throat as if something was holding on to it and squeezing the air out of her.

“Midor? What's wrong?”

An icecold shudder ran over Adenah's spine, turning slowly towards the direction of the voice only to howl out in a hoarse cry once more. Infront of her stood Drazial, his brow furrowed a little as if genuinly concerned about her condition. Around his lips that familar twitch of his smirk she had grown to loathe. Did he just call her....?
He approached and shook his head, reaching out to her with a low tone with both his arms trying to scoop her shaking form against himself.
“Why are you crying? I'm right here now midor.”
Adenah's breath popped out of her lungs, the heartwrenching pain stabbing into her chest as she pressed herself backwards into the door to get away from him, after having heard the things behind the door she couldn't cope with this affectionate display of her former lover.

“Go .. away! Leave me alone ... you've left me... you.. you...”
She couldn't form her sentence and the hurt she saw on his face only made things worse, especially because she had lost all sense of reality in this warped nightmare, the dark world she got trapped in. It tore away at the healed parts of her heart to have him there infront of her, showing care and a honest looking expression of concern. It almost made her want to let herself be held into his embrace, if only to try and take away some of the awakened hurt she had been going through. But she didn't, another cry behind her from Jarren made her lurge forward at Drazial, shoving him backwards furiously. Acting with the pain rampaging inside her as she blindly lashed out at him.

“Leave me be! You never loved me! You left for HER! Just like he left me!”

He hung his head in shame and shook it a bit with a sigh leaving his lips before looking back up with a confident smirk, approaching again to lean into her and press her to the door. She couldn't breathe when feeling his hand reach up to curl into her hair. His lips were so close to her ear she felt she would faint, yet of course she did not. Not granted a chance to flee her torment even for a second.

His breath was warm on her skin and drew another quiet, whimpering sob from her throat. Her heart already had been shattered and left open the old wounds from the past. Weakened and unable to ignore the feelings that she once had she couldn't move. It overwhelmed her, all emotions mixing into one coiling turmoil inside of her. Her shame, love and hurt, for both of them. It was too much, she felt she was about to break forever.
“No.. Drazial ... “
It cost her all effort she could muster to shove her hands against his chest, wanting him away from her to stop the constant stabbing in her heart from his presence. And all he did was stand there, infront of her with that same smirk. It had something evil and malicious to it and she could hear his words before he walked away and left her alone.

“Why would anybody love you Adenah? I've left you for somebody else, and now your new boy did the same. Perhaps you're simply not good enough, just a little whore that is enough to briefly spend time with. How long did it take for Calath? How long did he dwell on your betrayal?”

Her cry was left unheard, unanswered ... Adenah fell to the floor again.
“STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP...PLEAAAAAAAAAASE”