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So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb

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So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Empty So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb

Post by Aadaria-Ioanna Mon Jul 30, 2012 5:08 am

So you want to Roleplay a Goblin?

http://wow-tng.org
By Zeeky H. Bomb,



Note from the Author (Out-of-Character):

Playing a Goblin is more than just playing as a little greedy green-skinned sneak with a Brooklyn (Kezan!) accent. This Primer is mostly designed to help even the most fresh-to-roleplay player with the need to know facts, as well as the more detailed answers to commonly asked questions about this race. More diehard roleplayers may appreciate the history and other such information I've assembled here from a variety of sources. Also, while most of this guide is founded on cannon, I’ve taken liberty to include here a bunch of my own theories and extrapolations based on established game lore.

Also, my goal is not to be biased here or to suggest that Goblins as a race are 'better' at everything than any other. I've tried to be as accurate as I can about the strengths and weaknesses of the Goblin people, so please do not interpret anything read here as mindless fanboying. A Goblin wasn't my first character, btw. Some of you may have known me as Beetlegeuse, the Bug Eating Bastard of Brill - a demented Forsaken Warlock. Others may even know me as Nos'feratthas, a Blood Elven Death Knight and repentant traitor of the San'layn. Only the rarest few know me by my first character - a soul scarred, binge drinking Paladin from Darrowshire named 'Rhadamanthus'. A Human, if you can imagine that! Those are just some of my credentials to portraying the lush variety of Azerothian races fairly, without allowing any bias towards Horde or Alliance.

If you're new to role play and just looking to get started, I recommend reading this Chapters 1, 2, and 7 (Basics, Naming, and Sample Characters) as most of the rest you can really pick up along the way. The other information in here is mostly things you can pick up playing, and also there for people who love Warcraft Lore and Flavor.

Also, just because the starting area for a Goblin is ‘locked in’ to a few interesting character-centric events directly hinging on you (and likewise, exactly the same for another million players out there just like you) don’t think that prevents you from coming up with your own unique backstory and have to share that same quest-driven backstory with all those other players. In fact, you can work WITH the events – ret-con them just like the folks at Blizzard have from Warcraft’s earliest days. Maybe you were only there at KTC headquarters as a stand-in for some other guy or gal?

Finally, I’d just like to mention this is actually the first of a series of RP Primers I’m making for the other races of the Horde (Forsaken and Blood Elves are almost finished, with Orcs, Trolls, and Tauren being next up if people show interest.) If you liked this guide, be sure and voice your support and maybe I’ll get those other races done. If you bribe me enough, I might even be able to be convinced to do RP Primers for Alliance races too. I’ll also be updating this primer as more information comes up from Archaeology and In-Game events.

Enjoy!


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Updates!!! (08/06/2011)
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- *(NEW)* = Holy crap it's news! After taking a long break from WoW and returning, I'm going to honor my promise to finish this Primer, and maybe even the others. There's a lot to do, and some I may have to even revise given a lot of new information as Cataclysm has progressed these many months.

- Blizzard, in what has poked a big needle in my balloon, stated in their Lore Panel that the Pen and Paper RPG Information is NON-CANON. So this means I'll have to go through a lot of important information in this Primer and cross check it for references outside of the PnP game. I'm betting references such as Phlogiston will be out. Mephits are in WoW to a limited extent, but they are hardly defined. Going to be some reworking of theories - but hey, we have some new pieces in that puzzle as well.

- Still no word on Gallywix. Seriously, for nearly seven months now we've had no idea what the Bilgewater Cartel's leader is up to. Very odd indeed.

- No idea who Trade Prince Donais is, but he is mentioned in Gallywix's Official Short Story. So he's been around at least as long as Gallywix has. What Cartel does HE lead? Many mysteries remain.

- Gil-Goblins are no longer a mystery nor link the Goblin evolution puzzle. Thank Hobart Grapplehammer for them./showthread.php?20555-RP-Race-Primer-GOBLIN




So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Icon_o11



TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter 1: Basics of Goblinhood.
Chapter 2: The Corporate Ladder – Goblin Naming and Titles.
Chapter 3: Business is Business – Factions of Goblin Society.
Chapter 4: Beliefs & Cultural Opinions of the Goblins.
Chapter 5: Ledgers of History – A Brief History of the Goblins.
Chapter 6: Dirty Stinkin’ Rich – Top Goblins
Chapter 7: Goblin Gallery – Sample Characters.
Chapter 8: Sources & More Information.
Chapter 9: Bonus Appendix




CHAPTER 1: Basics of Goblinhood.

BASIC INFORMATION:

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Primary Information for Roleplay
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Race Name: Goblin; Plural: Goblins
Slang Nicknames: ‘Gob’s’, (common), ‘shorts', 'greedos' (Negative Epithet)
Species Classificaiton: Mammalian Hominids
Current Racial Homeland: The Island Nation of Kezan, South Seas. Planet of Azeroth.
Prehistoric ‘Origin’: Multiple Theories. Main Theory is the 'Mephit Genesis' - mentioned in the History Chapter.
Nearest Evolutionary Relatives: Gil-Goblins, Hobgoblins (both creations of Alchemical Experimentation)



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What the Average Goblin will always have in mind:
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1.) “Where can I make some ‘bling? Where’s my moolah at?” [Above all, Goblins think of their money and where to make it]
2.) “I’m starvin’. Where can I get a bite to eat?” [Goblins are ALWAYS Hungry and Thirsty]
3.) “How YOU dooin?” [You can guess what #3 is on a Goblin’s Mind]
3.) “We don’ know what’s left of Kezan; we just know we can’t go back.”
4.) “Garrosh (and by extension, the Horde) treats us like wimpy Slaves.”
5.) “Gallywix is a rat!" [Gallywix, current Trade Prince of the Bilgewater Cartel, hides nothing of his value of greed over his people's lives.]
6.) “TIME IS MONEY.” [If you don’t get that, why are you playing a Goblin?]



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Common Goblin Terms & Phrases:
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BLING = Term directly used usually means Jewelry. But it can also be slang for money, as Bling is used to show off how much money you have.

MOOLAH = Another word for one's total Riches. Money, Deeds, Company Shares, etc. Anything of value; overall assets.

NUB = a Goblin term for a dumb child, or a stupid/immature person with the brain of a dumb child. Usually someone not very bright nor learning at all, but not doing it on purpose.

ISSUES = Children. So named for causing more trouble and costing more money than they bring in at first.

GOBS = A quick, usual term for their fellow Goblins. Singular: A ‘Gob’.

MACAROONS = A Unit of Currency used only on Kezan. Made of Stamped Paper and resembling small baked goods also popular on Kezan.

TROLLING= A (racist) Goblin term used as an insult towards someone beings ignorant, immature, and savage on purpose. Essentially, acting retarded for the sake of acting retarded.

“It’s a Gob’ thing…” = Said often to Non-Goblins, when reacting to something weird Goblins are used to doing and usually don't question or have to explain.

“How’s Business?” = The commonly polite Goblin greeting. Life is basically Business to Goblins, so it's like asking how life's going for them.



So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb 225-wo10



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LIFESPAN AND AGING
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Average Lifespan: Goblins live between 20-75+ Azerothian Years. Some live longer (perhaps indefinitely) through use of Alchemy, Magic, or advanced Technology. Most Goblins don’t live past age 10 to 15 due to ‘accidents’ growing up in a life of crime, wheeling, dealing, as well as insatiable curiosity and greed. It’s survival of the fittest in the strictest sense.

Life Cycle: (In Azerothian Years)
0-2 = ‘Issue; Baby Goblin’ ; taken care of by parents/surrogates/family. Often bought or sold at this age to others to be an employee or slave labor.

3-6= ‘Runt; Very Young Goblin’ ; Not old enough yet to steal much for family – learning basics. Taught by parents, surrogates, or other family. Dumb Goblins that don’t learn very well (or get caught) tend to die, or are taken and sold for simple drudge jobs like factory work, mining, or other dangerous pursuits. Even more stupid (or otherwise unlucky) Goblins many end up undergoing Hobgoblin transfigurations.

7-10= ‘Nub; Child Goblin’ ; Old enough to steal, but refining skills. Some Goblins leave their family to go freelance. Do not have much money or common sense, but they make up for that with enthusiasm. A huge amount of Goblins never survive this age group.

11-15= ‘Sly; Teenage Goblin’ ; At this point, a Goblin leaves home if they haven’t already. Stolen enough to start a minor business or buy into joining one. The smart ones survive and get smarter; more cunning. Hence ‘sly’, but also a bit headstrong and arrogant for surviving so long – that can lead them into mistakes that get them killed. Adults usually call them ‘sly nubs’.

16-25= ‘Adult Goblin’ ; Has survived life to adulthood; has a pretty decent cache of money, maybe some property, starting investments around this time, and is steadily expanding their money and influence. Many Goblins usually don’t make it this far, but those that do have a pretty good head on their shoulders. Some lucky Goblins settle to start families at this point, to help make more money one way or another.

25-40= ‘Middle Aged Goblin’ ; A veteran Goblin. Still earning more money, has some decent property – seeing investments return. Have a bunch of Nubs and Runts working for them and are pretty well off financially, usually having a decent business going. Often the most attractive Goblins come from this age bracket.

41-60= ‘Don/Dona; Older Goblin’ ; A relatively well connected, stable Goblin that has amassed money and property. Usually leads a Goblin family and has owns a sturdy ongoing Business that is very profitable. A Don/Dona usually has a large variety of runts, nubs, even a few Slys and adults working for them.

61-75+= [/b]‘Grump; Very Old Goblin’ ; Has stockpiled lots of money & property by now. Has lots of influence. Dons/Donas work for them, and are the godfathers/godmothers of large goblin families. Many Trade Princes are ‘Grumps’. So named because EVERYONE is trying to get their inheritance, and can’t trust anyone – thus constantly grumpy, miserly, and very unpleasant to be around.

So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Tumblr12


[b]Sexual Maturity:
Goblin puberty is young by comparison to older races, very similar to Humans & Orcs. About 9-12 Azerothian Years. From there, they are capable of breeding like rabbits, but most Goblins learn the hard way that having ‘Issues’ is very bad for business when they’re young. They learn this often by accident, having to sell them – which often helps young Goblins get a head start in getting money, as well as making them a little more emotionally hardened. Some of those Goblins may attempt to purchase back their Issues at a later time, others never see them again. This early maturity is often offset by high mortality rate while young due to ‘accidents’ or stupidity.

Pregnancy Period/Litter Size: Goblin pregnancies are usually less than half Human terms, accounting for the ‘Goblins breed like Rabbits’ opinion. Usually about 3 to 4 Azerothian Months. During this time, Female Goblins are ravenously hungry and it costs a lot to keep them fed. Goblins often have twins or triplets. Third one is almost always sold to pay for the two strongest. It’s tradition. Quadruplets are considered a mark of greatness, usually resulting in great financial gain from selling the other two.


So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb 36648510



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OTHER PHYSICAL NOTES FOR RP
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Average Height:Usually about 3’ Tall. (2'7 - 4'3" (79 to 130 cm) [Males], 2'5" - 3'1" (74 to 94 cm) [Females])

Average Weight: Usually about 40 lbs. Can be about 27-55+ lbs or more, depending on the ‘richness’ of the Goblin. Goblins naturally have little bodyweight and are very wiry despite their shortness (unlike Dwarves). Richer Goblins tend to be able to build up fat and are ‘attractive’, while poorer Goblins tend to be almost skeletally lean and hungry (well… hungrier. Goblins are always hungry.)

Physical Strength: Goblins are on average stronger than Gnomes, but weaker than Dwarves. Individual strength varies based on the Goblin, of course, and some may be stronger than that. They’re very wiry and lean muscled like swimmers; lanky like Trolls, instead of the bulky muscle you’d see on Dwarves, Gnomes, or Humans.

Diet & Appetite: Goblins are Omnivorous and will eat very nearly anything edible; sometimes even things that under any other ordinary circumstances might not be. They are almost always hungry, and only the richest Goblins tend to sate that hunger fully (if briefly). They have a reputation for being some of Azeroth’s finest cooks in no small part due to this constant appetite and their sharp nasal senses.



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SENSORY NOTES FOR RP
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EYESIGHT: Goblins tend to have average eyesight, with particular attention to small details – which makes them very good at appraising things or doing tiny, intricate work like jewelcrafting or engineering. In darkness, they see at least twice as well as an average Human or Orc. As they age, however, they tend to become very nearsighted. Often, they augment their eyesight with fancy monocles or telescopic goggles to make up for this.

HEARING: Goblins have ears very similar in shape to those of Trolls and Elves, complete with all the musculature to aim them carefully if they try (usually Goblin ears are larger and floppier than more muscular/sharper Troll or Elven Ears). However, these ears are just as sensitive as those races, making them very good at hearing a wide range of sound frequencies, as well as picking up locations or listening for very, very faint sounds. Sharper pitched sounds, however, can cause massive pain to Goblins. Sounds that might otherwise be unharmful for an Orc or Human could cause huge damage to Goblin hearing. Many Goblins have their hearing sensitivity ‘adjusted’ over the years by machinery or proximity to explosives, weakening it greatly or even causing full deafness as they grow older. Once again, Goblins often resort to technology to overcome these issues – Goblin Hearing Aids are a great deal more sophisticated than Gnomish ones.

SMELLING: Their large noses lend them very keen senses of smell (more than most humanoids, comparable to an average Tauren, but far less than an average Quillboar or Worgen), allowing them to better understand certain ingredients in potions or seasonings in meals (as well as pick up on possible poisons). This is a talent that has made them great at Alchemy and Cooking.

OTHER SENSES: Goblins are capable of psychic awareness, but like most Azerothian races, they are not yet very advanced with it (nowhere near the psychic ability of average Draenei, Demon, or Ethereal) They do have a knack for ‘sensing’ gold, almost uncannily detecting the presence of good deals or gains. They are natural empaths and good at detecting lies by both body language and just this ‘sense’ of things, developed from a young age 'reading' other Goblins.


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APPEARANCE NOTES FOR RP
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Skin Tones/Feel: Goblin skin varies in shades of Green similar to Orcs; Bright Green, Dark Green, Olive, and even a slight tan color are not unheard of. It doesn’t feel too different from Human or Orcish skin, usually it's a lot smoother. As a Goblin ages, they lose elasticity much more quickly than those two races. Of course, Goblin Alchemists sell tons of makeup creams that can reduce wrinkles. Female Goblins love these creams, and the more expensive creams advertise how wealthy they are. Some male Goblins, however, like the wrinkles as a sign of age and how much money they have because of it. Those same Alchemists often have wrinkle creams that also help accentuate this.

Hair Tones/Body Hair: Goblin hair is coily, thick, and tough, similar to that of Trollish hair. It also comes in a similar spectrum of colors, but Blue-Black, Reddish-Brown, and Rusty-Orange are most common, but lighter shades of sun-bleached white, sandy blonde, aqua-blue, and other light bluish hues are not unheard of (if highly sought by ladies using chemicals!). It is very common for Goblins to get their hair done in ornate styles as well as buy expensive hair products, such as pomade or scented treatments to help show off how rich they are (in a style similar to Blood Elves). Goblins are similar to Trolls in that it is very rare for them to develop full facial hair beyond a five o'clock shadow, though wearing thick sideburns (similar to Gilnean Humans) is very common. Coarse facial stubble in Goblin Males and older Goblin Women is extremely common, however. Both genders often have body hair on their legs, toes, and personal areas – though Goblin Women often shave just about all unsightly body hair just like human women tend to do.

Eye Colors: Goblin Eye colors range from Amber Orange, to a deep Red-Crimson, to unusual tinges of Purple, Orange, or Violet. They are often very vivid and seldom dull. Older Goblins tend to develop dark circles around their eyes, especially if they’re really successful in business. Decorative Eyewear is very common for Goblins of all ages, but particularly common in older Goblins who quickly become nearsighted and need it for functional purposes as well - particularly in the case of Engineers.

Personal Scent: Goblins have a tendency to wear really expensive colognes or perfumes that emphasize how much money they make. In this sense, you could easily compare them to real life stereotypes of Persians. Other Goblins, who are poorer or more craft-oriented, tend to smell like oil, gunpowder, exotic chemicals, or other scents. Body Odor is very appalling to most Goblins, after all, it shows a Goblin has to WORK harder to get their money – and the harder they have to work, generally the less time they have to make real money. Goblins always smell strongly, but rarely of unpleasant body odor.

In General: When describing Goblins, its best to remember that they’re short, quick, agile and full of energy. It is rare to find a Goblin that doesn't have any actual 'pick up and go' to them, as those are the Goblins that tend to get early graves. They tend to wear bright colors, love gawdy jewelry, show off expensive things, and even when it comes to armor, like to emphasize that they have money. Unlike Elven Races that sometimes seem similar in their value on superficiality, Goblins tend to do this to excess on purpose rather than to feign any actual nobility. Thus, seem ‘tacky’ by comparison. But for Goblins, ‘tacky’ is the point; they have riches to waste on doing things over the top. Just remember the word ‘BLING’ and you have a good foot to stand on coming up with your Goblin’s appearance – every Goblin has got to have some sort of bling, and will undoubtedly be showing it off one way or another.


So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb World_13



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PSYCHOLOGY NOTES FOR RP
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Physical Attractions: Goblins tend to be attracted to those that have above average body fat (They look at fat much like Human Females tend to look at hands and feet; only to determine size of wallet instead.) Much like other Mammalian Humanoids (such as Humans), Goblins are attracted to breasts, buttocks, large lips, and other similarly erogenous body parts – in their own race as well as others. Most Goblins (both male and female) also are attracted physically to strong hands, quick feet, and large ears. Jewelry is often used to accentuate ear size and emphasize ‘richness’, as well as very lavish purses or wallets made to look very full. The more expensive the accessories, the more attractive the Goblin looks.


Psychological Attractions: Male and Female Goblins, alike, are attracted very much to money and property, as well as all around cleverness. Unlike most other races, Goblins are a great deal more open about the notion of inter-racial relationships, and have been known to be involved with just about any other race if they’re rich enough. Such a nature can give them a bad reputation with more ‘conservative’ races out there, who consider it disgusting to do that for money in any sense. Goblins, however, argue that their way is just more efficient – after all, “you still gottah pay for dinner for your date, don’t ’cha?” Goblins without money, that are poor or are generally ‘stupid’, are highly looked down on and are unattractive regardless of their body. Of course, stupid Goblins generally don’t last long anyway.


Physical/Psychological Turnoffs: Though attractions still differ slightly from Goblin to Goblin, most Goblins are universally repelled by poorness. Likewise, cheapness (though practical for most Goblins) is also considered a bit of a turn off as it is obvious you have to ‘worry’ about money. Along those lines, Goblins are turned off by sweaty body odor usually – particularly in the case of their own kind – as it proves you have to work for your living instead of spending the time to just con it and make real money. All goblins prefer strong colognes or perfumes - the stronger, the better, as they obviously don't have to water them down or buy the cheap stuff. Lack of intelligence or cunning is likewise considered very unattractive; the dumber the Goblin, the more unwanted they are (if they’ve even survived that long, that is). Even otherwise ‘good’ looks (by most racial standards, such as humans) won’t last long if a Goblin’s date is stupid with money, goods, or property. Most Goblins also tend to look for mates that are self sufficient, confident, and affable - they hitch to a Goblin that's a real go getter, witty, going places, and has something to show for whatever effort they do (and usually the most).



Cultural Relationship Viewpoints: Goblins are not very monogamous, even moreso now with the recent loss of their Homeland (and it's high death toll). Polygamy is very common in well off Goblin families, especially if the main Goblin Male or Female is older and can ‘afford’ lots of Issues (babies) and mates. Homosexuality is neither condemned nor endorsed, in fact, Goblins seldom really care about such things like other cultures might and are a very open society (sometimes flamboyantly). As for ‘Gender Roles’ in Goblin society, for the last fifty or so years, there’s been a shift in Goblin Women’s Rights – which used to be more Male dominated (as evidenced by the term ‘Trade Prince’; a more masculine title). Once upon a time, it is surmised, Goblin women were treated as domestic slaves. That has changed a great deal, of course, in the recent century or two. Now, the genders are pretty much equal in cultural and business affairs, though there hasn’t yet been an official ‘Trade Princess’. The loss of Kezan to the eruption has only helped emphasized this equality. The Goblins have more to worry about than those traditions.

Family Viewpoints: While Goblin families can be fairly warm sometimes, in a manner similar to Human or Orcish family units (especially in ‘richer’ Goblin families), they are almost universally sharper and more unforgiving. Like any other mortal race, Goblins are in fact capable of doting on and loving their offspring, but due to high birthrate, affection usually has to be shared substantially - favorites tend to get picked out of every family quickly and those favorites are usually the ones that get kept. From birth, every Goblin is considered an investment; an asset to be sold or otherwise used for the good of the ones who brought it into the world (or bought it). As they start growing up, they tend to grow or drop in value - becoming an ‘employee’ of their family or some other one, expected to learn how to bring in money (usually by stealing) and that the oldest/most influential family member is ‘boss’.

Other young Goblins, usually the family's least favorite, are sold to other families that are richer and can afford more mouths to feed – becoming servants, laborers, or other menial or undesirable tasks. Goblins that end up the slowpoke or runt, not very bright from a young age, not able to adapt or learn, are usually culled pretty young – sold to work mines, become hobgoblins, expendables, or otherwise just don’t survive very long. Generally, there are few families who'd buy such feeble Goblin. If you want insight into how this would work, be sure and watch the movie ‘Memoirs of a Geisha’. Though it’s through the viewpoint of oriental culture, it’s a pretty fair approximation of the general coldness a young Goblin can expect if they’re from a poorer family. Just picture all of that as a young Goblin girl and you can see what I mean.


So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Tumblr14



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CULTURAL NOTES FOR RP
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Primary Language: Goblish, but also known to others who hear it as ‘Gobbledegook ’- often insultingly at how fast and hard to understand it is. Based on how it sounds in game, it sounds very similar to the aliens from the movie 'Mars Attacks'. They often learn as many languages as possible, including Human ‘Common’, for trading purposes. Goblins have also created their own Mathematically based language (and claim that Gnomes stole it, though it may be the opposite – depending on whom you talk to) called Goblin Binary, which ascribes to each letter combination of ‘0’s or ‘1’s to create strings of encoded message. It isn’t yet becoming widespread, but there is a premium Goblin-made alcohol that is so strong it knocks a mind into speaking it.

Written Alphabet: Goblin ‘Sign’; a system of iconographic symbols representing representing ideas, people, and possessions. This is very close to Kanji - or Oriental Iconography in Real Life. They also dabble into as many alphabets as possible, just like learning languages, for trading purposes.

Written Math: Goblins use Titan-based Math Systems. The ‘common’ math; represented by numbers of the range of 0 to 9. Most races seem to use that anyway. Elves also have their own numeric system of marks (I, II, III, IV, V, etc) and most Goblins know it fairly well.

Accent: Goblins have a ‘Kezan’ accent. This is basically the Azerothian equivalent of a Jersey/Brooklyn Accent. If you want to sound like a Goblin, listen to how a person from Brooklyn or New Jersey accentuates their words.

Example: Whenever there’s a final ‘er’ to a word, say ‘ah’. Now it sounds Kezan. “Whatevah.”




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Aadaria-Ioanna
Aadaria-Ioanna

Posts : 835
Join date : 2010-01-31
Age : 38
Location : Norway, Sandefjord

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So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Empty Re: So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb

Post by Aadaria-Ioanna Mon Jul 30, 2012 5:20 am

CHAPTER 2: The Corporate Ladder - Goblin Naming & Titles

On Goblin Naming:
Every Goblin has a first ‘given’ name. That’s what they’re usually known by. They also have a 'family' last name

This is almost exactly the same as how human names work. Often, a Goblin that’s been adopted, married, or bought will pick up the name of his or her new ‘benefactor’. In marriages, whomever has the most money usually keeps the last name, the poorer taking that Goblin's name (unlike Human marriages, where usually they adopt the Male's).

To create a Goblin first name, keep it short. Consider that Male Goblins have a lot of ‘x’ or ‘v’ in it. Usually a consonant instead of a vowel. Often a Goblin male name will end in a double ‘zz’ or ‘x’.

Female names, instead, often have an ‘ee’, ‘i’, or ‘a’ at the end – making them feminine.

Noises resembling machines, or things that you’d picture a classic ‘alien’ named, make great Goblin first names; such things as ‘Gibble’, ‘Gleep’, ‘Blork’, ‘Zebbo’, etc. Add an ‘ee’ or ‘i‘ at the end and you can make it a more female name.

Most Goblin family names usually portray an achievement from an ancestor, though a Goblin may create a new family name if they have really done something to set themselves apart from their family. Usually this is when a Goblin has become really, really successful and rich, but failed to take command of their own family, or has done or invented something so great that it’s outshined their original family name specifically.

For example, Magan Blastfurnace (Who’s ancestor claims patent of the Blastfurnace) ended up creating a special bomb that shoots shrapnel with deadly accuracy and ends up making him a lot of money. That Goblin might rename himself ‘Magan Blastshards’ or ‘Magan Bladebomb’ to commemorate his fantastic new invention. This new name will always relate to either the device, or what the device does.

So in that sense, you can create a lot of personality in your Goblin by coming up with his/her family’s biggest invention (or his/hers, if she’s gone and made something!). Lots of character can be come up with in this way. What kind of personality do you think a goblin with a last name of ‘Blastface’ might have?

Of course, it’s also a very very good idea to look around the game for hints on how to name your Goblin. It can be a huge help to you fit into the lore if you pick a last name you’ve seen in the game – you could even RP that Goblin NPC as distant family. And who knows? Maybe some other player will pick it too – and thus you have actual family you didn’t even know. Sure would be fun to run into, wouldn’t it?


Several Known Male Goblin Names in Warcraft and the Card Game:

Zautso, Beedle, Chizbolt, Nuzak, Landro, Krixel, Bindo, Vixton, Zaphod, Revilgaz, Gazz, Krazek, Kravel, Razdunk, Tekzik, Marin, Mebok, Maldy, Nazz, Rilli, Axle, Azzleby, Riggle, Beardo, Wizlo, Weegli, Fizim, Kerpow, Blixxrak, Bliztik, Miglik, Kizz, Xark, Zeggon, Buzzek, Bragok, Grex, Ecton, Glyx, Hornizz, Blizrik, Jaxin, Izzy, Dillord, Hecht, Kaymard, Kosco, Nardstrum, Whulwert, Grikkin, Alowicious, Cozzle, Crazz, Fizzle, Dond, Drazzit, Bibbly, Zorbin, Noggle, Fin, Nixxrax, Ziz, Crank, Explodyne, Frezza, Fuzruckle, Puzik, Gant, Gazban, Geezle, Gibbert, Gilnid, Gimbletron, Gikkix, Cork, Bipp, Sneed


Several Known Female Goblin Names in Warcraft and the Card Game:

Lystis, Mefeero, Sazai, Rossa, Mida, Wenikee, Audi, Alley, Bijou, Frixee, Snurk, Jaycrue, Penney, Seersa, Evee, Remee, Zap, Mixiee, Spraggle, Beetix, Fima, Jang, Guchee, Macee, Mirvyna, Meggi, Pixel, Qia, Liv, Umi, Yorba, Yuka, Mupsi, Leeni, Grisi, Lunnix, Rizzle, Tinkee, Vizzle, Evie, Beka, Zixxy


Several Known Family Names in Warcraft and the Card Game:

Steamgear, Boltnose, Manclamp, Leafgrinder, Blastnut, Gearbomb, Pinchwhistle, Longshot, Silvertongue, Boombox, Sprocketspring, Bilgewhistle, Fuselage, Gallywix, Gigglefont, Noggenfogger, Riddlevox, Silversnap, Steamwheedle, Steamboil, Dizzywig, Bigglefuzz, Greasygob, Brassbait, Bearingshiner, Blastfizzle, Blastfuse, Blastwrench, Blotstorm, Bluntstrike, Boltbucket, Bolthammer, Boltshine, Bomblast, Botsnap, Bracketswing, Brainboiler, Brasstumbler, Brewright, Brimbuzzle, Buckshot, Bucksquick, Cableclamp, Coilspanner, Coppergrab, Coppernickels, Coppernut, Copperpinch, Cozzle, Copperspring, Crosswire, Cutpipe, Dripvalve, Futzbuckle, Fandazzle, Farshot, Farflinger, Fastwrench, Ficklespragg, Fizzracket, Fizzbolt, Fizzsprocket, Fizzgrimble, Fizzlebulb, Fizzlespurt, Fizzledowser, Gagsprocket, Gazzlegear, Gearspinner, Gizzletron, Gizlock, Hammertink, Jinglepocket

And there are even more than that in both TCG and in-game. Look around, get a feel for it, and get creative.





On Goblin Titles:

Goblins live in a very capitalistic society; the more money, and the more ways you have to keep that money coming in, the more influence you have over Goblin civilization. To get far, a Goblin has to be ruthless, cunning, innovative, and creative – being well planned, using cloak and dagger politics, and fighting every moment of every day to keep the position they’ve earned by these virtues as every Goblin is looking to climb to the top of the mountain. Their society is a business, and only the best can rise to the highest positions. It is not recommended to RP as any of the ‘Ruling’ Titles mentioned below, any more than you’d RP as the Warchief of the Horde or anything else impractical. Consider that you’re an adventuring character, and all the rigors of earning such coveted authority as these Goblins have would seriously keep you from being able to do so.


So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Goblin10


Ruling Titles (And their ‘rank’ in Goblin Society!)

(#1) Trade Princes : “The Trade Princes are the rulers absolute of all Goblin-kind; the richest, most successful, and as influential as any Human King or Queen. Officially, there are only Five spoken of Trade Princes (spoken of, mind you!), yet only two Trade Princes are known public figures. Each one of them has acquired and maintained their rule by shrewdness of business, raw cunning, brutal viciousness, and underhanded dealings. They are masters of industry and politics, and the epitome of Goblin capitalistic values. All Goblins aspire to become a Trade Prince someday. To anyone’s knowledge, there has never been a Female Trade Prince. Since the events of Kezan’s eruption, the status of the other Trade Princes is unknown. However, Trade Prince Gallywix, perhaps the last of them, is now leader of the Bilgewater Cartel Refugees. Trade Prince Donais is a complete mystery at the time of this writing (12/03/2010). NEVER roleplay a Trade Prince. First of all, a Trade Prince rarely goes around tooting their own horn - it makes them even more of a target, Gallywix being especially bad of this, and it almost cost him his life - Secondly, it is a position ALL Goblins aspire to, and a position of supreme power in Goblin society. Neither of these things make being a heroic adventurer any easier. You can't be directing Goblin society on the level Trade Princes do while fighting on the front lines of the Horde, besides, a Trade Prince would literally just send someone to do that for them. Likewise, there's no such thing as an intact Ex-Trade Prince, there's only one way to go once you reach the top - and the amount of enemies a Trade Prince makes in reaching the top ensures they will never, ever, be able to live a normal life - if they even get to live for very long without all their plans and mooks."

Some Trade Princes = Trade Prince Gallywix (Current Ruler of the Bilgewater Cartel), Trade Prince Steamwheedle (Status currently unknown, but presumed Alive), Trade Prince Donais (Lurking in Gallywix's Pleasure Palace - Holdings unknown)

(#2) Moguls : “Moguls are the hands and voices of the Trade Princes. The equivalent of ‘Lords / Ladies’ in Goblin society, and often have control of entire regions of Goblin holdings in Azeroth. They are master entrepreneurs: Goblin men and women who run various companies and cartels, businesses such as deforesting, drilling, strip-mining, and the like, throughout the world, appointing Barons / Baronesses to oversee the larger holdings at a distance. Most of them aspire to become Trade Princes themselves, but are kept in check by constant scheming and competition with other Moguls as well as the Trade Princes they serve, and the sneakiness of Barons or Baronesses that serve them. Never roleplay a Mogul, for the same reasons you wouldn't roleplay a Trade Prince. A Mogul is in the position they are because they can pay others to do the dirty work for them, and because the Trade Prince is generally counting on their influence a large amount of the time. There are tons of business decisions to make that just can't be done reliably from the front lines of the Horde. Likewise, an Ex-Mogul either retires as Trade Prince, or gets fired. Literally. In short, at this level, they are literally in too deep.”

Some Moguls = Mogul Razdunk (Owner of the Venture Company), Mogul Jinglepocket (Owner of Smokywood Pastures), ‘Boss’ Mida Silvertongue (Though she doesn't see herself as a Mogul; Operates Orgrimmar’s Goblin Slums)

(#3) Barons / Baronesses : “Barons / Baronesses are the hands and voices of Moguls, overseeing operations in places distant from Kezan and acquiring a great deal of power as a result. They are essentially ‘Mayors’ of Goblin Towns or holdings. Many Moguls started off as Barons / Baronesses until they bumped off their bosses metaphorically or literally. These are Goblins who have amassed a very nice fortune by running all the businesses of a very successful town. Not a easy position to keep, though – as their own employees are constantly vying for their job. As such, I don't recommend roleplaying such a high position as a Baron/Baroness, nor as an Ex-Baron/Baroness. They either retire higher on the totem pole, or six feet under. This isn't a position Gobs just walk away from; they make too many enemies along the way.”

Some Barons = Baron Revilgaz (Oversees Booty Bay), Gazlowe (Though he doesn't consider himself a Baron; Oversees Ratchet).


(#3) Admirals : “Of about equal power to Barons / Baronesses, Admirals are essentially the overseers of the great boat fleets that the Goblins use to trade worldwide. They are often very brilliant strategists, combatants, navigators, and tacticians with plenty of experience fighting against pirates and surviving the deadly rigors of life on the open sea. Admirals answer to a Vice Admiral, who has authority equal to a Mogul. Sometimes Admirals settle down to become Barons / Baronesses (or become Moguls, even). Mogul Razdunk is rumored to have been a very fierce Admiral before he claimed enough power to be considered a Mogul. I do not recommend roleplaying as an Admiral due to the sheer time at sea an Admiral has expected of them, nor an Ex-Admiral because that power or influence just doesn't 'go away', similar to the fate awaiting Barons/Baronesses. Pirates take vengeance, and if they don't, Gob competition will.”

(#4) Slavemaster: (NOTE: Slavemasters are mentioned in PnP; which is considered non-canon. It is extremely likely however that in the worldview of WoW that they would exist somewhere so I include them here) "Ranging between greater and lesser power than Admirals or Barons, but still with no small measure of influence - Slavemasters are maligned, vile, and dreaded figures in the Goblin chain of power. While many Slavemasters claim allegiance to one Cartel or another, many are strictly freelance, offering their 'product' to whichever Cartel pays the most at a given moment. They're treacherous as Goblins get, and many Trade Princes have worked very hard to disguise the fact some of them got their starts as Slavemasters. Though Goblin civilization understands slavery to be acceptable in pursuit of the capitalism that powers it, it's kept very quiet so as not to offend (or even provoke hostility) from outsiders - which are sometimes even taken as slaves. Often, Slavemasters are cut-throat criminal figures that specialize in contraband, gambling, assassination, as well as trafficking in the misery of Slave Trade. Truly, the worst of Goblins. Generally, you will not know you are looking upon a Slavemaster in World of Warcraft. Anyone that chooses to roleplay as an obvious Slavemaster, which I would not recommend, will make no few enemies. Generally, you will not ever know you are looking upon a Slavemaster in World of Warcraft."



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Lower Titles
(It is not impossible that your character could aspire to these and still be an adventurer. I’ve included optional in-game requirements to ‘earn’ these to help give Goblins out there an estimate.)

Boss : “These Goblins usually report to a Baron or Baroness (even an Admiral or Slavemaster), and are in charge of a variety of different workers, projects, or merchants, served by groups of Foremen/Foremams – usually within a certain trade (such as mining, lumberjacking, building, etc.). This is an upper middle class position and pretty well regarded.” Note that 'Boss' Mida Silvertongue prefers to consider herself this way - even though she is just now realizing the real power she's starting to wield.

(REQ. = Be Level 80+, Exalted with the Bilgewater Cartel or a Steamwheedle Cartel Town (whomever your ‘Baron’ works for); Report to someone like Baron Revilgaz, Riddlevox, or Gazlowe for RP purposes. Have both Professions at Illustrious.)

Foreman / Foremam : “These are Goblins that are in-charge of large groups of lower laborers, usually very tough and bright. A lower middle class position, and not too shabby.”

(REQ. = Be Level 70+, Exalted with Ratchet, Booty Bay, Gadgetzan, or Bilgewater Cartel (Whichever your ‘Boss’ is working for). Have both Professions at Grandmaster or Higher.)

Captain :Goblins captain a lot of vessels over sea, but are best known for being the first to create lighter than air balloons for use as vehicles. They are, quite possibly, the first race to take flight. Often enough, they call captains of Zeppelins or other airships ‘Sky-Captains’ – a term now used by other races of both the Alliance and the Horde. Captains usually answer directly to Admirals and are about equal to ‘Bosses’.”

(REQ. = Be Level 70+, Exalted with Steamwheedle Cartel or Bilgewater Cartel (Whichever your ‘Admiral’ is working for); Be at least a Grandmaster Engineer {Goblin or Gnomish, doesn’t matter here} Find an Admiral NPC for that faction that you ‘report’ to for RP purposes.

‘Chief’ or ‘High’ : “Usually used as a modifier to signify ‘best at’ something, such as ‘Chief Engineer’ or ‘High Chef’ or something like that; basically a Goblin who is so good at what he/she does, considered special; an irreplaceable asset to company, cartel, or family. It isn’t used to describe Bosses or Captains, as those two titles are usually fairly complementary as it is.”

(REQ. = Be Level 70+, Exalted with Ratchet, Booty Bay, Gadgetzan, or Bilgewater Cartel. Grandmaster or Higher with the profession you want to claim your talent with, and have at least 20-30 of the non-trainer patterns. If you’re doing this for a Secondary profession such as Fishing, Cooking, First Aid, or Archaeology, be sure and have at least four achievements relating to your profession as well. Remember, you’re special for a reason!)




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Chapter 3: Business is Business; The Factions of Goblin Society.

GREATER POWERS


- The Bilgewater Cartel (Horde Aligned, Led by Trade Prince Gallywix)

The Bilgewater Cartel was one of the two large Cartels of Goblin Society, led by miserly Trade Prince Gallywix. The Bilgewater Cartel was mostly focused on internal trading, importing and excise throughout the South Seas. Their signature product is a fantastic, bubbly canned drink made with real Kaja’mite minerals, as well as exotic island ingredients of guarana bark, cane sugar, and cocoa pods. This beverage is called ‘Kaja’cola’, and the Goblin’s love for this drink is unfathomable. The product has an incredibly addictive buzz that also creates bursts of manic creativity in those who drink it, which is the cure for the low that the race has been having when the supply of Kaja’mite was starting to run out within the last century or so. Before the Cataclysm, Bilgewater Cartel was the leader in Kaja’mite mining and Kaja’cola manufacture, as well as maintained very profitable trade fleets that navigated across the South Seas.

During the events of Cataclysm, Trade Prince Gallywix offers up his personal Yacht and several other merchant ships to evacuate their capital city of Bilgewater. However, the eccentric Trade Prince intended to sell his entire surviving Cartel into slavery to retire in comfort. This did not go as planned, the Bilgewater Cartel retaliated, saving the Warchief of the Horde, Thrall, in the process – who in turn offered these Goblins hospitality in his Horde. But now, Thrall is gone – off to save the world, and in his place, a short-sighted Warchief named Garrosh Hellscream. Those Goblins now toil – laboring for the arrogant Warchief in a life that little different from slavery, while Trade Prince Gallywix lords over Azshara from his ‘Pleasure Palace’.


- The Steamwheedle Cartel (Neutral Aligned, Led by Trade Prince Steamwheedle)

The Steamwheedle Cartel is the other of the two large Cartels of Goblin Society and led by Trade Prince Steamwheedle himself. The Cartel owns several companies, such as the Gadgetzan Water Company in Tanaris. They even have their own protective fleet of pirates turned privateers, in the form of the Blackwater Raiders. During the Second War, it was the Steamwheedle Cartel that lent its services to the Horde. Since those times, the Steamwheedle Cartel has kept a strict neutrality clause involving both the Alliance and the Horde, offering equal hospitality in Booty Bay, Ratchet, Mudsprocket, Gadgetzan, and other holdings across Azeroth. This has in time since enabled them to sell to both sides, vastly increasing profits and success. To this day, Trade Prince Steamwheedle refuses to choose a side as the money keeps coming in. Though his whereabouts are unknown after the destruction of Kezan, it is clear that the Steamwheedle Cartel is not as critically affected as the Bilgewater Cartel has been. It is even possible that if the Goblin capital city of Undermine has survived at all, it is in Steamwheedle hands.


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LESSER POWERS

- The Braintrust of Orbital Operations & Mechanics AKA B.O.O.M. (Neutral Aligned)

B.O.O.M. is an intrepid offshoot of former Steamwheedle Cartel goblins that were brought back to Draenor from Azeroth through the Dark Portal during the Second War to produce weapons for the Horde. When Draenor was ravaged, becoming Outland, many of these Goblins survived – coming to settle on the continent of Netherstorm. In the wake of those events, they became Neutral – staying out of the surviving Orcs and Human refugee’s battling and providing a safe place for travelers against Demon attacks. For a long time, most of their goal was to return home – building massive rockets in hopes of traversing the great dark beyond to return home to Azeroth. Netherstorm had plenty of exotic minerals and metals to work with, as well as the remnants of the great war-machines of the Burning Legion. These Goblins are rugged, tough, and wily, having survived against Demons, the ever-dangerous weather of the Netherstorm, and the devastation of an entire world. They’ve made first contact with the Ethereal, a race of energy beings that have similar merchant mindsets as the Goblins do. Trading between them has enabled all sorts of advances in Goblin Technology. Since the Dark Portal re-opened, many of these Goblins have returned home to share their new discoveries with both major Cartels. Others simply decided to stay – more curious to explore the great dark beyond than simply to go home at this point.

- The Venture Trading Company (Neutral Aligned; Enemy of all Goblin Cartels)

The Venture Company can be considered the worst of Goblinkind; the Dark Cartel rising, if you will. It is an unruly offshoot of the Steamwheedle Cartel, which has since become its own powerhouse. In doing so, it's become the pariah of the Cartels, but also the enemy of countless factions on Azeroth, for reaching so recklessly and ruthlessly to give even Trade Princes pause. They've devastated entire ecosystems, put our very world at risk at times, and endangered the lives of Goblins by creating even more deadly enemies than the Steamwheedle Deal. Their insatiable greed, complete and utter disregard for what they call 'mere profit', contracts, nature, and literally anyone or anything that gets in their way, has put Goblinkind at huge risk, and is responsible for sticking many negative stereotypes about Goblins in the minds of would-be customers. Even for Goblins, they are ruthless to the point of barbarism, seeing only the immediate profit they can crudely rake in. And above all? They KEEP DOING IT - and the damage they do turns the world against us worse every day. To make matters worse, in the less than a century they've been around, they've got their fingers in almost every pie, greased so many wheels, they have still have an unspeakable amount of influence even while they are vilified in most Goblin society.

Founded by Mogul Razdunk during the early days of the Second War, the company got its start connecting various trading posts throughout the Eastern Kingdoms - primarily throughout the southern regions. His breakthrough invention of the now famous Goblin Shredder, along with trade revenue filed back for the Steamwheedle Cartel, built up an incredible wealth in difficult economic times. Much of which he embezzled. He had a huge hand, along with Baron Revilgaz, in the construction of Booty Bay - his inventions performing plenty of profitable logging operations in Stranglethorne Vale. Later, his company would be one of the first to profit eagerly off Steamwheedle's post-war reforms - swiftly selling out many Goblin 'war criminals' (often enemies of Venture Company interests) to the vengeful Alliance as well as selling lumber to the Stonemasons' Guild rebuilding Stormwind. As a result, the Venture Company gained in power quickly - its influence spreading like wildfire along investors.

They became shrewd war profiteers during the Third War, making a cut from selling Shredders to the Horde operations in Ashenvale while simultaneously helping outfit their former contacts in the Stonemason's Guild that would later become the Defias Brotherhood. Glutted with influence and resources, as well as ambitious, nearly imbecilic recklessness, Mogul Razdunk began to plot against Trade Prince Steamwheedle with the desire to create his own Cartel and elevate his status to Trade Prince. Though the details are not fully known at this time, it is obvious that he hasn't been entirely successful; matters resulted in a cold war of all Cartels' against the Venture Company rising influence, disobedience, and recklessness. Steamwheedle puts hits out on Venture Company employees, and the Venture Company is hostile to any non-company personnel. In time since, the Company has expanded into nearly every corner of Azeroth, exploiting, pillaging, murdering, and outright wrecking whatever they can't steal or stripmine, without any subtlety, cunning, or suaveness. They're avid slavers, as well. They even sell precious Goblin technological secrets to GNOMES. Mogul Razdunk himself resided on Kezan, enjoying a certain immunity in Undermine where he can be watched by the agents of the other Trade Princes. Even still, he's a personal fly in the ointment there whilst collecting ruthless investors daring enough to share in the plunder (and who knows, there may be some Trade Princes who may be too, even as they vilify him and his company.) With Kezan's destruction, the Mogul's whereabouts are not known. Even today, however, the Venture Trading Company has shown no signs of slowing down - if anything, their profiteering has increased during the Cataclysm.

- The Smokywood Pastures Company (Neutral Aligned)

The Smokywood Pastures Company consists of two well-to-do Goblin Families that have capitalized on the gift-giving festivities of Winter Veil. They’re also pretty renown for their Cooking - their delicious holiday meals and treats are world famous, even now popular off-world in Outland. Though their most talented merchants and chefs come to capital cities during Winter Veil, they primarily base their operations in Alterac – selling much needed foods to both the Frostwolf Orcs and the Stormpike Dwarves in exchange for allowing them a protected base of operations just near the battleground. There is a friendly rivalry between the two families (The Copperpinches and the Jinglepockets), who more or less favor selling to the Horde or the Alliance respectively, but they’ll sell to both sides either way – and this rivalry does not impede them at all when Company interests are to be protected. Among their most interesting inventions, they’ve come up with the festive ‘PX-238 Winter Wondervolt’ Device, which can transform any race into a Gnome for about thirty minutes. Though many races out there consider this a novelty, the Goblins consider it a subtle joke every time they pull the switch.


- The Gill-Goblin "Kingdom" (Neutral Aligned)

The race of Gill-Goblins has grown massively in the past fifty or so years since escaping Hobart Grapplehammer's lab, and developed very rapidly into a crude kingdom. These aquatic Goblins are entirely independent of their air-breathing relatives, and are also notably less intelligent. They appear to be part-goblin part-shark, and are scavengers of the ocean floor. The Gill-goblins of Vash'jir are led by a large specimen that has been referred to as King Gurboggle, though for the most part, all other specimens seem mostly primitive - forming tribal bands around their families but giving him a token respect (possibly as an Alpha Male). Gill-Goblins are extremely territorial and will attack any who get too close to their salvage hoards.

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OTHER POWERS

(Disclaimer: Much of this information is in regards to that mentioned in the PnP Warcraft game. There are points in WoW that allude to the legitimacy of these Unions in Lore Canon - such as the Goblin Tinker's Union - so I include them with the understanding that they are very possible in the gameworld.)

- The Alchemist's Union (Neutral Aligned / Overseen by Head Alchemist Gigglefont)

In essence, this is the long standing Union that holds the traditions of all Goblin pharmaceuticals, transmutations, potions, and herbalism. As their name implies, their primary focus is all things of an Alchemical bent. Like most Goblin Unions, the Alchemist Union's roots go back to the Golden Age when Kaja'mite was plentiful - leading to some of the most potent recipes and concoctions ever conceived. They came to the forefront (along with Alchemy in culture) when the Kaja'mite Crisis came - the entire Union struggling, with no small amount of funding, to transmute new Kaja'mite. Unfortunately, this 'Philosopher's Stone' was only discovered as recently as the last hundred years, but can only be created in very small amounts from a myriad of rare, exotic ingredients - and even still, it was never was it as potent as true Kaja'mite. A side effect of their experiments was the creation of 'Hobgoblins', using very unpleasant concoctions. Now, Hobgoblins are a household fixture - every well-to-do Goblin family will have one on employ, while the Trade Princes themselves pride them as Bruisers. To this day, countless advancements in Alchemy are attributable to the efforts of this Union, and though it guards its recipes very carefully, it has begun in recent years to strengthen connections to the Forsaken's Royal Apothecary Society in order to trade secrets.

- The Goblin Tinker's Union (Neutral Aligned / Overseen by Director Tek'zik Riddlevox)

While there are other Tinkering Unions on Azeroth (such as the Gnomish and Dwarven ones) that have only in recent centuries been forming at least a familiarity with one another, the Goblin Tinker's Union is one of the oldest of all. Hailing back to the Golden Age before Kaja'mite was scarce, the Goblin Tinker's Union almost religiously passes down and tries to preserve the brilliant inventions created by their forefathers. Many members of this Union strive their entire lives to adapt and improve on those original designs, as well as focus on securing more Kaja'mite in hopes of returning Goblins to that heightened level of advancement their 'Golden Age' Inventors attained to create new ones. Of all Unions, the Tinker's Union is the most welcoming despite its fierce rivalry with the other Tinker's Unions - even allowing Dwarves and Gnomes on occasion into its number. NOTE: If a player chooses Goblin Specialized Engineering, this is the Union they become affiliated with. They are welcoming of any Goblin Cartel or Company, even other non-Goblin Factions, so long as dues are paid and they show potential to further the Union's innovations.

- The Trade Coalition & Trade Fleets / Ruled by the Trade Princes [Trade Prince Steamwheedle in particular] & Overseen by Vice Admiral Grizzlek (Neutral Aligned)

The greatest achievement of Goblin Civilization, founded in the panic of the Kaja'mite Crisis, the Trade Coalition is the one 'government' of the Goblins that connects the scheming Cartels, as well as Goblins as a people. In the time since it's creation, it's dominated trade on the seas of Azeroth, equipped with several armadas of heavily armed Goblin Warships and versatile trade barges, crewed with intrepid Captains and overseen by Admirals. The lifeblood of Kezan, and Goblin Civilization in general, is built on the protection offered by the Trade Fleets and the import/export of items throughout Azeroth by the Coalition. In the beginning the Coalition set down the first laws of business, founded on the Manifesto of Profit, and ushered in the Goblin civilization we know today built on pure Capitalism. Once, it was neutral, but in the last two hundred years of its life, the Coalition is no longer built on fair trade. Taxes, tariffs, racketeering, even the 'Cartels' themselves have become what they have in spite of it. One Cartel, the Steamwheedle Cartel, now possesses most of the stock and control over the Coalition itself, rivaled only by the smaller, more domestically focused Bilgewater Cartel. Traditionally, it's still overrun by the Trade Princes as a sort of council, but they seldom meet face to face - which is far too risky.

- The Gob-Squad (Horde Aligned)

One of the developments in response to the hostility from the Alliance's SI:7, a group of elite Gobs formed in the Bilgewater Cartel as strike teams and information specialists. Agents of Bligewater Cartel, and for the Horde itself. They operate similarly to SI:7, and it's reported that one Goblin instrumental in its founding actually served as an influential operative of SI:7 itself for a number of years until being expelled due to recent racial tensions between Goblins and the Alliance. In this sense, the Gob-Squad takes its opposition to the SI:7 very seriously - matching their machinations everywhere possible. They also serve as the Bilgewater Cartel's combat elite without direct authority of the Trade Prince; strike teams with Sapper Training and Gobs of the toughest calibur that serve the citizens of Bilgewater.

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So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Empty Re: So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb

Post by Aadaria-Ioanna Mon Jul 30, 2012 5:35 am

CHAPTER 4.) Goblin Beliefs / Cultural Views

Religious Beliefs
Primary Faiths:


The 'Golden' Light, The 'Empty' Shadow, Technomantic Exchange, Burning Bargains, Mystery of the Makers, and Agnostic

The 'Golden' Light:

Goblins worship the Light in a very strange way when compared to most other races. They term this philosophy 'The Great Exchange'; but more commonly it's referred to as the Golden Light - as most races understand what 'Light' means. Instead of mere rules like the Human Church of the Light has (Goblins aren't real big on rules), Goblin worshipers of Light focus on the positive power that comes from financial exchange and trade that benefits both sides; the positive connectiveness that currency creates between spender and spendee. The thoughtful give and take that creates neighborhoods, friendships, and families, making the world go 'round. In a sense, they worship this concept as the very cycle of life itself; the deepest force of good that keeps the world going onward and upward to better things for all. They don't advocate things like charity (like other light worshipers tend to) so much as loans - that bit to get others on their feet to do for themselves, and to keep on for themselves as well as others. Best way to describe it? "Pay it Forward."

The 'Empty' Shadow:

Much like how they worship the Light, Goblins worship the Shadow just as strangely. Instead of acts of direct cruelty or bitterness for the sake of them, negative things that oppose 'Light' driven positive things, Goblin worshipers of the Shadow focus on the negative emptiness that comes from the lack of exchange. They call this idea 'The Big Empty'. It's the lack of connectiveness that comes from trade by greedily hoarding or even outright destroying valuable things, especially things others use and depend on - whether out of spite, ignorance, or pure malice. It's the potent power of 'loss' and 'debt' unending; greed that gives nothing back. The isolation and personal empowerment of one who needs nothing, shares nothing, wants nothing more than to take everything from anyone just to take it away. The average follower of the Empty usually worships nothingness as an ideal, rather than simply not committal to any idea (like an Atheist). It's very nihilistic; seeks the cheapening and destruction of all things - the purest concept of entrophy. In this sense, they worship financial depression or economic recession - the hopelessness, the miserliness of one who is greedy for greed's sake. The one who hoards all, burns all, and wants for nothing. Entrophy AND non-productive Stasis.

'Technomantic' Exchanges:

Despite the outcry of countless other Shamanic faiths out there (such as those of Orcs, Trolls, Dwarves, Tauren, and Draenei) the Goblins none-the-less have their own unique form of Shamanic reverence of the elements. In keeping with the capitalistic bent inside the Goblin mind, a Goblin Shaman 'brokers' special deals with every Elemental or Natural Force - paying a price for service, in exchange for the service rendered. A quick witted, rapier tongued Goblin can smooth talk even the wind into a sail or a fire into picking something ELSE to burn.

For some types of Elementals, particularly the fickle Air and Fire Elementals, this is a perfect arrangement, so susceptible they are to compliments and bargains they believe benefit them. Often, the Goblins offer excellent kiss-assery, as well as favorable exchanges as reverently as any other business partner with something both sides want. Nearly all Elementals agree that this is a mutually beneficial partnership, and though very untraditional compared to the appeasement and reverence other Shamans perform, is very efficacious. To that end, Goblin 'Totems' are advanced pieces of technology that enable them to empower and communicate with the elements to seal those deals.

Bargains with the Burning Legion:

Goblins will turn anywhere to make even a bit of money, to some desperate Goblins, literally pacting themselves to the Burning Legion - making diabolical deals. The Burning Legion is rich beyond imagining, and can deliver on that bargain without any trouble - providing them with all the power, influence, and raw cash they could ever want (which in the end, never enough) for a Price most Goblins find all too easy to pay. And for those Goblins, eventually, nothing else matters but their pursuit of MORE Gold - even to the greedy unmaking of the world, ideals similar to those who worship the Empty.

Mystery of the Makers:

Most Goblins could care a Tinker's Cuss about Titans - usually only caring about harnessing advanced technology they could dig up or turn it around for profit. Same with artifacts. We know nothing about how Goblins relate in the scheme of Titanic Creation, or if they're connected at all. You can see the Goblin consideration of the Titans' geological handiwork in the form of what they've done to Azshara.

Agnostic and Secular:

A majority of Goblins are just worldly types. They worship little more than the common Gold piece, and what it can get them or their families/businesses. What may seem shallow or materialistic has done fine enough for their civilization for hundreds of years.



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Views on different Classes

Warriors : There is a lot to be said for a Goblin's Rage, especially when it's backed up with the right chemicals and compensation. Though their size is deceptive, most Goblins are hardy, strong, and make very good fighters; capable of mastering a variety of stances and martial disciplines. All Cartels employ 'Bruisers'; who epitomize the strength of Goblin Warriors. These dedicated, well-paid enforcers help protect Goblin holdings as well as attempt to keep the peace. Other Goblin Warriors end up as similar Freelancers or Mercenaries, selling their muscle to the highest bidder.


Paladins : The concept of the Light, as seen by Paladins, seems very foreign to most Goblins, given how they view the connectiveness that the Golden Light. Conflict is to be avoided at all costs, as it's not good for direct trading, whereas to the average Goblin, Paladins simply crusade looking for a fight, which would get in the way of business. Also, the honesty and selfless virtues of codified Paladinhood don't mesh well with the sneaky, for-profit mindset of even a priestly Goblin. Even despite those things, there is no tradition of such zealous sense of right and wrong that allows channeling Holy Power of the caliber Paladins do (even races such as the Tauren have always had an overwhelming sense of 'Right' and 'wrong'). Goblins live forever in the gray; more chaotic by very nature than lawful. As such, one should not expect to see Goblin Paladins.


Druids : While Goblins do possess a particular knack for bargaining with the Elements, Nature itself is much harder to bargain with directly. That's even if the Goblin would try to do so. Those that follow the teachings of Cenarius & Ysera hold most Goblins in contempt for their recklessness actions towards nature and the land. An average Goblin sees nature as any business-minded person would - a product. A 'crop'. A thing... nothing more than another source of income. It is partially accurate to say that Goblins do not respect Nature with quite the same reverence as, say, a Night Elf or Tauren. Despite that, it doesn't mean most Goblins are out there expressly with the idea of tearing it down, either. As such, Goblins have never been offered the connection to the Emerald Dream, nor any teachings from Moonglade, nor have they ever sought it.


Shamans : As mentioned above, Goblins have a particularly unique take on dealing with the Elements. A typical Goblin Shaman often acts as a free-agent in mediating between the average Gob and the Elemental force. Fisherman needing some help? Shaman goes and cuts a deal on behalf of the Fisherman with the spirits of the watering hole. Forgewright looking to galvanize some steel, but needs a particularly hot flame? Shaman makes offerings to volcanic spirits tough enough to take the job. In a sense, Goblin Shamans are the 'Talent Agents' of the Elements, and they're well revered in society for it.


Mages : Arcane magic users have existed for quite some time in Goblin history. While it is a mystery as to how it started to develop, it can likely be traced to the effects of Kaja'mite Minerals on certain early Goblins. Watching the arcane magical crafts of their Trollish slavers, these incredibly intelligent Goblins mimicked them, adapting their own powers to use against them, and helped lead the way for rebellion. In time since, magical training is one of the highest premiums a Goblin family can purchase for their issues. Mages are among the higher aristocracy of Goblin civilization, much as they are in most other races. They offer their crafts for civilian uses such as creating food and water out of thin air for worker's meals (Most richer Goblins turn their noses up at 'fake food' that hasn't been prepared from really rare, expensive materials and takes a rich expensive chef to make, while the average 'mouth on two legs' Goblin holds that power with an almost dogmatic worship). Mages also enlist in the Trade Fleets as artillery and tacticians. Fire Mages at sea are especially sought as boat-burners, while Frost and Arcane are also well regarded for practical applications as navigators. When a Shaman's rates are too expensive, often a Mage charges even more for more direct work with the Element itself.


Warlocks : With Dalaran being a long distance away, the rules that dictate contact with beings from outside Azeroth have never been enforced on Kezan. As such, Warlocks have existed for quite some time in Goblin culture and have a reputation that's both applauded and dreaded. They're considered the ultimate 'cheats' of Goblin society, and nobody ever wants to cross one. Often, word on the streets are that these Gobs came from families down on their luck but possessing magical talent - unable to afford expensive lessons and instead turning to Fel bargains to get their know-how. Stories and tales often speak of wily Warlocks who've cheated their own Demonic tutors, enslaving them, and taking their cheated lore - eventually selling their minion's services, fel magic, or demonic secrets for top copper. This practice even continues today - though has increased a great deal in the last century due to heightened demonic activity and the events of the Third War. Warlocks usually charge slightly less than Mages do, but most Gobs watch them close - knowing that Warlocks are some of the craftiest con artists out there.


Priests : The Priesthood of Kezan, sometimes known as the 'Kinship of the Coin', are a for-profit organization. These priests are the ones that both founded, and continue to run, the Bank of Kezan. Nearly all Goblin Priests proudly claim employment in this exclusive company and are very evangelistic about donations to keep the connections of the goblin people alive. Priests offer their services as well-paid financial advisers, negotiators, and executors of wills or estates - especially on deals that need representation that both sides will trust (when they definitely don't trust each other). The Priesthood is THE most honest of Goblin institutions, providing the collection plate is well-paid.


Death Knights : Though a particularly new arrival to Goblin society, Death Knights are not unfamiliar to them. During the Second War, many Goblins died and even a few of them made their way to altars in Gul'dan's Temples of the Damned to be piecemealed back together with foul warlock spirits in them. Just about all of those makeshift Death Knights are gone now. Hunted after the Second War, or otherwise lost to the chaos of those turbulent times. Some may have (un)lived on, however - finding solace with the Cult of the Damned. Still other Goblins, looking to make a fortune at any cost, signed on also with the Cult - only to be made into reanimated horrors. When Ebon Hold established its' independence from the Scourge, some Goblin Death Knights are known to have been among the ranks. Unlike how Death Knights are received elsewhere, Goblin Death Knights find a warmer welcome from businesses and find many financial opportunities as grim bodyguards or soldiers-for-hire. Some even find new purpose as necromantic Bruisers for their Cartels.


Rogues : While a majority of young Goblins grow up as thieving scamps in the streets of Kezan, a few enterprising Gobs never seem to grow out of it or transition to other, less risky means of making profit. For the average Goblin Rogue, it's not just the profit - as hard as that is to say - but the challenge. They make their living as excellent cat burglars, cut-throats, and spies for hire. Many a Goblin Rogue has been hired for purposes of gathering information, even SI:7 in the Human Kingdom of Stormwind has had one under employ for many years. Nothing that can be stolen is without profit, especially secrets.


Hunters : While Goblins are not as in-tune with nature as Druids are, making a bargain with an animal companion is a great deal easier. Over time, the give and take of food and companionship, tit for tat, creates a deep bond with a beast of the natural world - providing Goblins an 'in' for it, while providing that beast with more practical needs (or even, increased sentience). Also, though it is grudgingly admitted that Goblins were not the first to create Firearms (An achievement of Dwarven origin), Goblins have been very quick to innovate on the design, and master them. Goblin Hunters hire themselves out as marksmen, trappers, sappers, scouts, trackers, beast tamers, and gunfighters - making as lucrative a living off of a city as the untamed wild that most Goblins dare not tread, yet can bring great profits back from.

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Views on different Professions

Engineering :

I could do an entire chapter on how important Engineering is to Goblin culture, even to the average individual Goblin, and still not do it justice. I may write that much, unintentionally - but this is a passionate subject to me. Goblin Engineering is one of the two most renowned schools of Engineering in the world, of that nobody would dare deny. However, and though this is biased of course - as I'm a Goblin Engineer - I'm certain that most simply do not have a decent understanding of the underlying principles of our specialization, and as such, listen to deceitful half-truths regarding it. While most races have a handful of rudimentary advances in Technology (Dwarven Guns, Tauren Mechanical Elevators, and, of course, Kaldorei Aquadynamic Fish Attractors - as just a few examples), Goblins, like Gnomes, have a long established tradition of very advanced technology, and the world knows it. Especially the Gnomes, and the Gnomes sure do love to talk, don't they?

As such, there is a perception that there are no truly talented Goblin Engineers out there, or even old ones. They say (and I've heard them) 'there are old goblins, but no old goblin engineers'. Well, simply put, that's incorrect. I'm an old (well, relatively old) Goblin. This, like many other opinions of our form of Engineering are often fallacies or falsehoods meant to detract from us as legitimate engineers. I wonder who'd do that? So I'm going to put to rest a few things about Goblin Engineering that tend to get misinterpreted.

Number One, among most other races that Goblin technology is seen merely as simple as 'push this, blow up' only often without the 'push this' part. That everything 'explodes' and causes fatal injury, while common, is not always unintentional. The truth is that where us Goblins excel is in the form of reactive Chemistry - mixing our signature mastery of Alchemy with complex Scientific engineering. The true emphasis, one can find, is on the concept of 'Entrophy'. The breaking down force of the universe, and how it can be harnessed to change things - even create things if applied correctly. A contradiction if ever there was one, but brilliant none-the-less.

Consider the most simple, and yet iconic, device of Goblin technology - the common Bomb - is an example of this Chemistry in action. In inexperienced hands, a Bomb can cause a mess to clean up. In the hands of a soldier, a Bomb can make a mess for the enemy to clean up. But in the hands of an architect? You can forge art from the destruction; creation from this explosive detonation. Why carve out a rock face by hand when with well placed, timed explosives you can have fiery force carve it out for you? What most view as simple destruction is only the beginning.

It would be incredibly inaccurate to say that mere bombs are their only contribution. Consider that we were the race that discovered uses for Oil or 'phlogiston'; the 'Black Gold', as it became, of the Second War. With it, we created the first Combustion Engines, for example, which were virtually unknown of until before the Second War. As the name implies, these mechanical devices use controlled explosions to move highly tempered pistons with greater locomotive force than steam or water. When we Goblins arrived with the Horde - our technology was quickly seized upon by Gnomes (and later, Dwarves allied with them). That is not to say we didn't secure some things for ourselves - we stole the secret of Gunpowder and Firearms from the Dwarves and the basics of early circuitry from the Gnomes. I can admit that, you won't find many others who will.

While Gnomes were off adapting the combustion engine into Flying Machines of increasing sophistication, and getting their Steam Tanks to work, we Goblins were off adapting that advanced circuitry along with mechanical expertise into full fledged Shredder Suits, as well as Rocket Launchers to counter their vehicles, causing quite a stir worldwide. Why, even in Wintergrasp today they use our Rocket Launchers against Alliance and Horde vehicles alike. And who do you have to thank for that Mekanochopper? That's right, us. That is the power of the feared Goblin 'explosion', harnessed for practical use as both a transport and stylish ride.

But still, that brings me to my Second point, they say our Mechanical Devices are piecemeal and do not work very well. Which is insulting. Anyone who's seen a well oiled Shredder do fifty Goblins worth of lumber can attest to the reliability and practicality of our inventions. They like to claim we are not brilliant inventors any longer, citing our decline due to lack of Kaja'mite. Well, that is also incorrect - as we do, in fact, have at least some remaining Kaja'mite. We even drink it (Drink Kaja'cola, its' the BOMB). So this is inaccurate, to say the least. While yes, the younger of us do have the attention spans of excitable murlocs in a school of fish, this is not to say any differently of a young gnome deciding to build a can opener, which quickly decides to eats people. That's right, I heard.

Now, what is accurate is that our pursuit of technology is fueled by the most potent fuel of all - money. We are very motivated by that, and we'll cut corners where we can. However, just ask any old grump if they'd invest in a machine that would blow up their homeland and they'll say 'GET THE FEL OUT OF MY CHAMBER YOU NUB!' and have you thrown into the sea by your ears by Bruisers. As I said before, there ARE old Goblin Engineers - but what feeds the rumor is that they are rare. Accidents are plenty, for ANY Engineer. I've known Gnomish Engineers who lost as many limbs in portal accidents as sapper crews in the war from charges. There are Masters. Grandmasters, even Illustrious Engineers exist out there. Even during the Third War, some of the most powerful old Goblin Tinkers offered out their services as mercenaries - constructing pocket factories of explosive war machines the likes of which you'll see nowhere else, or even showing off their mechanical prowess in the form of immense rockets and robotic-vehicles. Many young nubs give our particular brand of Engineering a bad name, but the same should definitely be considered of Gnomish Engineering (and gnomish can openers).

Despite all of the derision, our daily lives, many of the clothing, foods, weapons, and even our homes or transportation, are powered by 'electricity' and fabricated from advanced chemical-engineering practices that strengthen and waterproof metal. Goblin Engineering touches our lives every day, even non-Goblins. So keep that in mind before you go and brand us all psychotic suicide bombers. YOU'RE WELCOME.



Alchemy :

Before the rise of the Forsaken, and their swift prominence in the field of Alchemy, Goblin Alchemy was (and according to most, still is) the apex of the craft. The use of magic and science, along with the laboriously studied properties of a variety of unusual plants and minerals of their jungle island home, has been a natural talent for Goblins as long as they've had noses. For literally, the sensitivity of a Goblin's keen sense of smell has contributed a great deal to their long term success in this craft.

Through Alchemy, many Goblins have extended their own lives unnaturally, quickly cured ailments that would otherwise ravage an isolated island society during contact with outsider diseases, even created potent adrenaline/growth hormone cocktails to breed subservient 'Hobgoblins' of twice the size (and stupidity) to serve as menial laborers to an otherwise much less physically imposing society.

Even more importantly, though, Alchemy formed the foundation for all Goblin Engineering - giving them the exotic fuel, the treatments to make metal stronger in absence of more advanced metal tempering methods (such as those of the Dwarves), and transmutations helping to counter scarcity of rare metals on their island nation.

From simple remedies to common ailments to chemical enhancements for physical or mental ability to transmutation of garbage into more useful base metals, Goblin Alchemist's services are always in demand. Many Alchemists function as Potion Docs, using their Alchemy exclusively to create potions or elixirs that remedy or enhance (similar to a Pharmacist). During the Third War, some of the most powerful Goblin Alchemists often acted as mercenaries, offering their services to the highest bidder. Atop Hobgoblin servants (often mistaken as Ogres due to their size), they were capable of using their concoctions as weapons, in fact, even a few were capable of transmuting living flesh into statues of raw gold adding to the profits of their employers - one of the rarest transmutational masteries of all Alchemy.


Jewelcrafting & Tailoring :

In Goblin society, the drive to look good is very strong. The better you look, the more money you appear to have. And the more preferable for a mate you are. So on and so forth. As such, it is very often that you'll find Goblins that are specialists in Jewelcrafting or Tailoring the fine wares that keep others well dressed. It's a lucrative business, but cannot match the sheer artistry of Draenic Jewelcrafters or Elven Spindleworkers.

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Gathering Professions :

Goblins are a wily and resourceful people, and pretty determined workers. They have a tradition of skill in Mining, their appraisal skills and knack for finding riches have served them well despite being on a volcanically active island. Their largest city, Undermine, is an example of just how important Mining has been to their history. Some inventions (such as Goblin Mining Helmets) can attest to its importance in society. Other gathering professions, such as Skinning and Herbalism, are also practiced very widespread - fueling the crafts of Alchemists craving rare materials. Lucrative businesses abound Kezan and elsewhere with Goblin employees building up stockpiles to sell off.


Blacksmithing & Leatherworking :

Goblins are quite capable metalworkers in a pinch, at a par somewhat beneath Dwarven craftworks but still superior to that of Human smiths. Goblin Smiths make a pretty decent trade. By contrast, Goblin Leatherworking cannot hold a candle to the mastery of an average Gilnean or Elf - leading many Goblins to import, or a few to go abroad to try to learn their secrets.

Fishing, First Aid, & Cooking :
If there is one thing Goblins excel at, it's making a profit off of just about anything. Most Goblins tend to be jacks of all trades, dabbling a bit into any business that can make a copper or save them one. Goblin Fishermen are among the finest in the world, their ancestry spending their lives on islands where the bounty of the ocean sustained much of their civilization. Their skill is akin to Kaldorei and Human fishers. Only Trollish fishers seem to put all the others to shame.

Of particular note is that Goblins are ravenous eaters, and as ravenous eaters, they've got a tradition for cooking that is world famous. Recipe by recipe, Goblins have contributed a great amount to world cuisine - from Undermine Clam Chowder, to Dirge's Kicking Chimerok Chops, to Goblin Gumbo, and countless other exotic delicacies. Goblin cooking is one of the most intricate and underestimated specialties of their race, working hand in hand with their talents of Alchemy & Engineering to create memorable meals. Only the Human race seems to have had as drastic and varied an effect as the Goblins on the Chef's art. Goblin Chefs make great money in business, selling quickly prepared pre-made foods for people who don't have the time to cook - which is becoming a lot more popular with the adventuring crowd where time is premium.

Goblin understanding of Medicine is also considerably advanced, but also incredibly expensive. Much like magical arts, the intricacies of Goblin Medicine are at a lofty premium, but general First Aid is very common among the Goblin lower class as street-docs help fix 'accidents' in their kin. Just about every Goblin knows at least something of First Aid, 'just in case'. Often, Goblin talent at Alchemy helps a great deal in the preparation of bandages, anti-venoms, cures, and tonics. Goblin Doctors are very well paid, while Street-Docs are very well loved. Medical minded Gobs are never both.


Enchanting, Inscription, & Archaeology :
The desire of Goblins to seek profit has not failed to notice interest in historical or clerical subjects. While the Explorer's League has been becoming more prominent or the last several years with famous faces like Brann Bronzebeard and Harrison Jones, and the Sin'dorei Reliquary has been generating publicity much more recently under Belloc Brightblade, many adventurous Goblins have shifted their focus away from mining and more towards the current vogue of tracking and excavating rare artifacts to sell for profit. Information is as precious a product as any, to smart Goblins, and learning about the past is something most races will play top gold for.

Clerical duties have always been in demand in Goblin civilization; keeping track of orders, profits, and managing businesses is an everyday need. As such, there are many Scribes to be found throughout Goblin society making a living - a rare few of whom also moonlight as runestudiers, arcanists, or linguists. The trade in exotic Inks, while not nearly so lucrative as in other areas such as Quel'thalas, is still pretty stable among Goblins, as well as Arcane Scriptures, Manuscripts, and useful Scrolls or Vellums.

Meanwhile, while the presence of craftsmen is hardly in shortage for Goblin societies, those that mix arcane magic with that sort of labor is much more uncommon. Those Goblins with a knack for both extracting and applying Enchantments to the works of other Craftsmen are highly sought, many Mages or Shamans often offer that service in addition to their other talents. However such Enchanting abilities are sub par compared to an average Sin'dorei Enchanter. Many Goblins, since recent events, have sought study among them.



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Views on different Races

* NOTE : I have gone to great effort to ensure that every racial opinion is both researched, as well as drawn from an average Goblin's perspective. There IS bias, but it is not merely Bias of the Horde vs Alliance (Though for the Bilgewater Cartel, it's more than clear there will be at least some bias, considering events of Lost Isles). It's the Bias of Goblins in their interactions with other races in the last hundred or so years. Naturally - opinions vary from Goblin to Goblin, just as any other people out there, so this is more of a rough idea to start with. Your own character's opinion will vary based on your upbringing or experiences with those races.


THE HORDE :

While Steamwheedle Cartel did offer their services exclusively to the Horde during the Second War, they did so because they considered the Horde incredibly gullible and the profits practical enough to outweigh the loss of trade with the Humans (not to mention the access they would have to snatching up Gnomish and Dwarven technologies). However, they did not expect just how deep enmity from the Humans (and the Alliance entire) would ultimately be, as well as how damaging to their business interests. So Steamwheedle Cartel went neutral, broke all 'official' ties with the Horde, and started selling to both sides - which was hard going at first, but eventually proved too useful for the Alliance to ignore. Meanwhile, many Steamwheedle Goblins that worked in service of the Horde as Sappers or Zeppelin workers/pilots decided to stay - getting effectively disowned by the Cartel. ('course, some of us that went home as decorated Horde Heroes didn't get much better treatment. Read my bio if you want more info on that.)

Now, due to the cataclysmic circumstances, the Bilgewater Cartel has rejoined the Horde in its entirety. The Bilgewater's opinion of it is simple - they'd rather not have joined up, but now that they're there, they're going to make the most of it. While Goblins under the rule of Garrosh's 'revitalized' Horde are treated more like second-class citizens or (at worst) slaving Peons, fit only to work on warmachines or construction, this has been a very profitable decision. Though Bilgewater faithful chafe at that treatment in their own way, they're making nice, quick profits from the exclusive deals with the Horde and enjoying a great deal of protection.

Meanwhile, Steamwheedle Cartel's remaining holdings still maintain their ambivalent approach to the Horde, selling to them just as they would to Alliance. Other Goblin factions (Such as BOOM and Smokywood Pastures) are relatively amicable to both sides, as well. Venture Company is still as antagonistic as ever.



Orcs :

Goblins and Orcs tend to get along like peas in a pod most of the time. Diplomacy has always been favorable between their races due in no small part to the overriding Orcish concept of 'Honor' and how Goblins appreciate that in oral contracts or deals; deals being things that pass the closest to 'Honor' most Goblins have. At the height of this diplomacy, some Orcs even visited Kezan, successfully commissioning services from the Steamwheedle Cartel for the Second War for massive amounts of gold, oil, and plunder. Many Gobs from Undermine, and all over Kezan, fought and died beside Orcs. While most Orcs seem somewhat primitive to the Goblins, they consider them a lot more 'civilized' than Trolls overall. The only real chafe between Goblins and Orcs tends to come from young-bloods who attempt to dominate comparatively smaller Goblins, leading to brawls, explosions, and messes for both sides to clean up. Usually, these fights work themselves out - and neither side really holds grudges about it.

(In RP : Orcs are ok; preferable on average to most really. They've got a tendency to be a bit thick, so talk to them like you would a child. Still, treat them like any valued customer, as they're good for their word. Orcish Honor is never to be questioned unless you want a boot on your throat. When they start blustering about how big or bad they are, roll your eyes and agree but make no move to dissuade them. Use your wits and you'll come out on top in the end anyway. Once they're done talking about their own strength and honor, they'll be sure to overpay for any merchandise. At least they're not as bad bullshitters as Humans, or as 'Trollish' as Trolls.)

(FROM Orcs : The average Orc generally looks at a Goblin as a weaker, smaller Orc. Younger fire-blooded Orcs joke at them as Peons only fit for work, act as though they're generally too frail and tiny for combat, and not worthy of individual honor - but doesn't matter, as what does a Goblin care for honor? Older, wiser Orcs who remember the Second War have a lot more respect for Goblins, having seen the bravery the little guys had when running with explosives lashed to their backs knowing they were going to die and wanting glory in it by turning the tide of battle. They died honorable deaths, and they've not forgotten it. Overall, Orcs - even young fire-blooded Orcs - are very welcoming of Goblins and what fancy goods Goblins bring with them.



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Trolls :

An average Goblin from Kezan does not regard any sort of Troll very highly (many do not even care to make distinctions between Troll Tribes) but they are not outright hostile to them unless provoked first. They look down on them, consider them little more than animals (little better than Gnolls, Kobolds, or Murlocs). While no living Goblin directly remembers when Trolls held their people as slaves on Kezan, most Kezan-born Goblins have been brought up to think of Trolls as little more than savage monkey-brained animal people. Yes, that's very racist, but there are three main reasons for that.

First is Lore-History itself - we know Trolls enslaved the Goblins for many centuries on Kezan to farm Kaja'mite, which in turn made them intelligent and led to the Goblins turning the tables, eventually enslaving their own Troll slavers. Thus, Goblin tradition paints Trolls as vicious, oppressive savages who brutally dominated the Goblins, and thanks to their own stupidity (as well as Goblin cunning) Goblins changed things - now Trolls are the ones chained up and working the mines, just as much as any stupid Goblin would be ('Trolling', thus, is a Goblin insult for other Goblins or people acting stupid AND brutal; kind of like calling someone a 'redneck').

Second is more recent history. In the centuries since Goblins freed themselves and became what we know of them today, they've bred and grown as a people. Kezan is a metropolis of Goblin building progress, which has forced the few non-enslaved Jungle Trolls on Kezan to survive only in the fringes or tiny pockets of untouched jungle, where their decreased population has led to a bunch of inbreeding and desperation for food or space against a much more overwhelming march of Goblin civilization. This means the resulting Trolls on Kezan are not the finest specimens of Troll-kind, having become very feral and even more primitive just to survive. Goblins born on Kezan see this, and of course they see Trolls as barbaric monkey-people in the trees.

Third is what most Goblins who've had dealings in the South Seas have seen of Trolls. They come home to Kezan with horror stories about head-shrinking cannibals on neighboring islands - populations of Trolls much larger, and much more powerful or organized. Dangerous. These Trolls have reacted violently against almost any visitors, let alone just the Goblins, and this hasn't painted them in a very nice light. They won't trade, burn entire boats of trade goods (such a waste! Nobody smart would do that!), and barbarically butcher then eat even their own kind.

Thus, for the most part, Goblins fresh off the boat from Kezan won't likely see Trolls in the Horde as very much different. Darkspear Trolls were, after all, Island dwelling Trolls with similar practices and traditions to Trolls on Kezan or elsewhere in the seas. They'll have to prove they're not the same monkey-brained, head-shrinking, cannibalistic animals.

A few Goblins that are more worldly, such as those of Steamwheedle Cartel, have a bit more experience and understand there are vast differences between certain Troll Tribes (those that fought with the Horde remember the Forest Trolls of the Amani Tribe, and might view them in a somewhat more positive light) but those from Bilgewater Cartel, or have never left Kezan before at all, are very likely to simply go by Goblin tradition on the subject.

(In RP : Consider Trolls to be what they look like - bestial primitive savages. They're dumb, dangerous animals. Don't expect them to get your jokes and don't be outright insulting to them. Makes them crazy. Sure, trade to them if you can get them to do so without eating you. Talk to them, but talk to them like they're big angry gorillas. It is likely if you have more a Bilgewater background that as a young Goblin you've been literally brought up thinking of Trolls as stupid, stinking beasts or slaves. If your Goblin has more of a Steamwheedle background, you're probably more open minded to them; after all, you have more experience to know that they are capable of being better than just bestial savages. At any rate, until a Troll proves his or herself to you, you probably won't think any differently of them just off the boat from the South Seas.)

(FROM Trolls : More often than not, Trolls are pretty ambivalent to Goblins (Goblins that aren't noticeably rude to them, that is). They don't regard them either way, and just don't matter to them beyond goods. Most Trolls in the Horde (or elsewhere in the world outside of Kezan Mines) don't have any clue how Goblins regard Trolls. Darkspears in the Horde extend a token-respect for them based on how the Orcs regard them, but otherwise don't treat them any differently. Trolls do appreciate the goods and services Goblins bring to the Horde, though.




Forsaken :

Just like all other races out there, Goblins that have heard of the Forsaken immediately don't trust them at all. While most Goblins on Kezan have been lucky enough not to have had to deal directly with the Scourge, other Goblins who have don't have any real sympathy for the Undead. Still, unlike most races, Goblin desire for profit makes them very bold, and as no Goblins died at the Wrathgate, most Goblins are always cautious but otherwise unperturbed about the whole event. As such, Goblins have had many business dealings with the Forsaken - especially when it comes to their mutual appreciation of Alchemy. For the Goblins that deal with the undead, they consider them just like they would living humans - and living humans are no less trusted. Negotiations are all smiles and polite conversations, and take FOREVER. Humans have the tendency to talk a lot, and while the Forsaken are on average quieter, they're no less capable of arguing out a deal. Goblins usually come out on top in these deals, of course. They realize that the actions of the Forsaken have cost them a lot of goodwill from the other races, and that very few welcome trade with them. The Goblins capitalize on that.

(In RP : While you don't trust the stiffs for a moment, don't be impolite to them if you can help it. That alone will get your foot in the door for good deals. If you can, overlook the fact their hair's falling out or their jaw's falling off. Whatever you do, don't stare. As much as it might seem like a good idea, don't compliment them either - undeath's made them a little odd so it's hard to tell what they think should or should not be nice looking, and will get you glared at. While most Forsaken put up that front of undead badassery, you know they need what you got - and deep down, they know that too. They're smart. But they were (and still very much are) humans. Be prepared for long negotiations and showers of bullshit coming out their mouths.)

(FROM Forsaken : Most Forsaken look at Goblins as useful, necessary tools in otherwise difficult times. The arrival of the Goblins in the Horde is very, very handy at this point - especially when most of the other races, even ones that they've been working closely beside, are pushing them away at arms length. Goblins don't hold a grudge about that incident at Wrathgate, and Goblins are always willing to sell vital things the Forsaken need that others either won't provide or only at a very impossible markup. Forsaken know this as much as the Goblins do, so when Goblins charge a slight markup as opposed to the crass gouging of others, it's understood and not insulting. Still, Forsaken don't look at Goblins anymore sympathetically as they do any other living race - they're tools to the Forsaken, much needed tools of course, but nothing more.




Themselves :

Goblin civilization has been very shaken up since the exodus from Kezan. Before that, Goblins looked at each other based on what Cartel they were with, or what company. Or Family. Every single connection of that nature was grounds for constant competition over profit, goods, and space. Now, for the first time in Goblin History, the entire fabric of their society is getting a reset. It's more chaotic than it ever was.

While the Bilgewater and Steamwheedle Cartels still exist and hold some semblance of structure (at least in a Goblin sense of structure), there are more 'free agent' Goblins out there than ever due to the circumstances. Families, some with businesses that were very very old, have lost literally everything and find their own internal pecking order ravaged. Some families of Kezan have been annihilated entirely along with their holdings and power. The losses in life and finances when Kajaro erupted can't be overstated, nor the voids left in Goblin society as a result. In the wake of that, not surprisingly, there's energetic chaos. Groups of survivors band together to fill those gaps, take up those trade territories or products, and clash to re-establish some semblance of the crazy, jumbly status-quo that held their race together before.

But there's also potential for change. There's a rising commonality to Goblins in the wake of that disaster as well - fragmented families and individuals band together as refugees seeking the same needs. Figures like 'Boss' Mida Silvertongue and others are starting to have Goblins question many old traditions and authority figures they've held for centuries before their births. Such as the authority of Trade Princes over the affairs of individual Goblins. Gallywix's actions have stood out very loudly in the final days of Kezan - his monopoly so dreaded - and it's had an effect on the survivors. The pursuit of Profit is still a vital force to every Goblin, but the newfound freedom, coupled with the fact the majority of their race are no longer so secluded , strange outside notions are capable of creeping in. The Goblin race is at a point in history where EVERYTHING is changing - who knows what we may see in the post-shattering world?

(In RP : Kezan blowing up has changed everything. That family down the block your family was feuding with for the last two hundred years? Yeah, they're gone. Edj? Gone. Bilgewater Port? Gone. Undermine itself? Who knows. So few Goblins have survived and now, while you still need to pursue profit, now's the most important time to back them up as well against outsiders. If you're both dead from some other race out there, who's going to make a profit? Back a Goblin over someone else every time. You might've hated some Gob from a rival Cartel, Family, or Company, but that doesn't matter two-copper now since the Shattering. It's all about survival, and the average Goblin is realizing how much they need to cover each other so they can ALL make profit, later.)





Blood Elves :

The Sin'dorei have always stood out as rich customers to sell to. Even just after the Second War, when the Humans and Dwarves were turning their noses up at Steamwheedle Cartel's attempts to re-establish trade, the Elves went on trading with the Goblins as though nothing changed. Which is unusual, as the Elves usually turn their noses up at everything. To the average Goblin, Blood Elves represent the richest, most ripe marks for buying expensive things ever. They appreciate lots of bling, and offer many quality goods that Goblins themselves don't make near so well (Such as certain Textiles or Enchantments). Like Humans, Elves have always put a lot on pomp and procession, and Goblins don't really care but learn to work with it when trading. Elves really do have expensive tastes and desire grand, expensive things. Unlike Humans, though, Elves are immensely patient. Something about their age, perhaps, but they care less about what they consider 'smaller' deals that have made many Goblins quite a bit of money - accounting for that reputation of Elves being treasure-boxes on two legs.

For some Elves and Goblins, though, there is remaining animosity from the Second War. Goblin Sappers were used frequently to level forests and fortifications in southern Quel'thalas when the Old Horde was working to steal the Runestones. Elven veterans of that period are deadly aloof to Goblins, and most Goblins approach Elven leaders with a lot of caution; many of those leaders were the enemy not so long ago.

(In RP : Ah, Elves. Some of the best customers in the world. Treat them very well and your coin-sack will drag the ground. Compliment them shamelessly and as sincerely as possible. Their egos have appetites more than a street-rat in Bilgewater Bay. Don't EVER insult them outright, and if they insult you, and they will definitely insult you, just laugh it off. Don't play dumb, that just invites them to stoke their egos more on you - keep your temper. They're very passive-aggressive, so be on the lookout for that. They're pretty bright, too, so keep your head on strait around 'em or you'll never get a deal going. Be wary, they can be just as bad bullshitters as Humans - be ready to use your best bullshit right back. Be incredibly polite if you can and compliment their hair. Every Elf treats their hair like their lifetime project - can't go wrong with flattery!)

(FROM Blood Elves :The average Blood Elf looks on a Goblin as a lowly, craven type good only for what they bring to sell. They don't see any nobility in them, or any redeeming feature other than their knack for finding obscure treasures or artifacts of immense value. Elves think Goblin fashion is gawdy and pathetic - leading them to be somewhat sympathetic at times, or otherwise passively insulting. What every Elf recognizes about the Goblins, though, is that they're very useful as tools (a mindset similar to the Forsaken). Need something built but don't want to spend the magic? Buy a Goblin to do it for you. Need some rare, obscure material from the end of Azeroth? Contract a Goblin to find it and bring it back. Of course, Elves tend not to trust Goblins with anything too delicate - they regard Goblins as unstable and prone to blowing up or breaking everything and anything. Since the Wraithgate incident, though, Elves are far more inclined to buy things such as potions from Goblins than the Forsaken.




Tauren :

Lesser Goblins (such as the Venture Company) tend to look at the cow-people and discount them as simple animals, like Trolls. Smarter Goblins know better, such as Gazlowe, and the town of Ratchet. Overall, the view of the Tauren is mixed. For the Goblins born and raised on Kezan, few have seen Tauren first-hand, let alone know what to think of them. Goblins that have dealt with the Tauren consider them very similarly as the Orcs. They get along relatively well together, though its always clear the Tauren don't think highly of how Goblins do things - especially when how they treat the environment is considered. Goblins appreciate that a large amount of Tauren don't really grasp the 'value' of some things as readily as Orcs do, while simultaneously honoring a verbal contract as though it was spiritual law. Still, few Tauren really go out of their way to make deals with Goblins, usually only in emergencies, and don't put as much emphasis on value of property - which often confuses Goblins who may try to understand them. Most Goblins have learned recently that dark-hide bearing Grimtotem are extremely hostile to Goblins, and are hostile back.

(In RP : Tauren are BIG. Watch out when you're around them, they might not be paying attention and might step on you by accident. Treat them politely, and Tauren usually treat you polite back even if they don't like you. Must be a cultural thing or something. Other than that, if you can convince them to trade at all, you're in for all sorts of good deals. They have little idea of the values of most things and will make your sack heavy. They might start lecturing you about respecting nature, or the elements, or something. Fake paying attention, and if you seem like you're a good listener, they'll gradually start to like you. If the Tauren's hide is black, WATCH OUT. That's a Grimtotem, a 'bad' Tauren, and it probably wants to stomp on your face.)

(FROM Tauren :Tauren, overall, tend to not understand Goblins, but are just as confused by them as Goblins are of them. The Tauren come from a society where property is a limited concept, and nobody 'owns' the land or what's in it. Goblins are polar opposites to them on many levels, which puts most average Tauren off. Younger Tauren, quick witted and inventive as they are, are attracted to Goblin technology (usually being rebellious to tribal leaders who think science evil). More militant or traditional minded Tauren are steadfastly opposed to Goblins entirely, viewing them as dangerous and an affront to the Earthmother in their actions. This has been much worse since the Goblins did what they've done in Azshara. Still, wiser Tauren tend to look on Goblins as small-minded children with often good hearts but lots of recklessness, but are smart and might listen to the wisdom of the Earthmother. Recently, Tauren have been needing the aid of Goblins quite a bit, and the Goblins were there for them when it most counted. Like other races in the Horde, the Tauren recognize the Goblins presence as very helpful in difficult times, but hope that the Goblins will wise up before they destroy too much.

[DISCLAIMER: I will endeavor in the following opinions to put them forth as best I can from a purely Goblin perspective, not just from that as a Horde-aligned Goblin. It does bear noting that having nearly half of the Goblin population joining the Horde recently, as well as having been part of the Horde during the Second War, has influenced a great deal of Alliance opinion of them, and in the case of Bilgewater Goblins, the unprovoked attack of the Alliance on them has not created any goodwill on their side either. There are prejudices on both sides of the fence, and my effort here is to present those overall opinions with as minimal personal bias as possible. As such, this may be the single most difficult part of this entire primer to write, and a grain of salt should be kept firmly next to the keyboard.]


So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Wallpa10



THE ALLIANCE:

One of the biggest mistakes that Goblin society acknowledged in recent years was the choice to become exclusively contracted to the Horde during the Second War. Before that War, trade with various races now part of the Alliance accounted for great profit in the Cartels. The loss of that, and the fall of the Horde, led to a miserable economic backlash that took decades to work through by the time the Third War came about. The Alliance has not forgotten - and many rivalries have gotten much deeper as a result, particularly the rivalry between the Goblins and the Gnomes who were forced to compete in wartime for both the Horde and the Alliance respectively. In the time since the Third War, Goblins began to slowly slide back into Alliance holdings on an individual basis - mostly here and there - and while some Goblins still sided with the Horde, Goblins as a majority had tried to rekindle old contacts and mercantile. However, with the Cataclysm, and the attack on the refugees of the Bilgewater Cartel - it was enough for Trade Prince Gallywix to sign exclusive with the Horde once more. Bilgewater loyalists, particularly those who lost loved ones or precious cargo, have great reason to despise the Alliance. Likewise, many veterans of the Second War are just as against the Alliance as the Horde they've remained with. The Alliance has not improved matters much, many Goblins that had gotten back into positions of trust found themselves ostracized and thrown from town - particularly examples such as the goblins operating the Barber Shop in Stormwind, or Renzik "The Shiv" - Matthias Shaw's own second in command in SI:7. Many of these Goblins instigated nothing but for safety reasons expelled them from Alliance holdings. Though the Steamwheedle Cartel's holdings still remains true to the reforms, and the Alliance doesn't target their towns at this time, it is clear with the Bilgewater Cartel and the Venture Company, that the Alliance and Goblin kind are not going to be on truly friendly terms for quite some time.



Humans :

Humans were one of the first races the Goblins came into contact with after forming the Trade Fleets - particularly those of the seagoing Kingdom of Kul'tiras. For much of the history between Goblins and humanity, it's been simple mercantilism. Business. Humans would trade with the Goblins wares from much further inland of the Eastern Kingdoms while Goblins would offer exotic items from the farther corners of Azeroth, such as the South Seas or even Kalimdor. Humans became known for being diplomatic, cunning, and bureaucratic. They frequently became competition (especially in the case of Tirassan Merchants), or occasionally literal enemies (Primarily human pirate organizations - such as the Bloodsail). Generally, it wasn't until the last century or so that there was any real honest conflict between the two races short of business competition, disputes, and general wheeling and dealing. That changed real fast with the Second War. In many ways, Humanity is quick to use its glib tongue and diplomacy to great underhanded effect. Again, it can't be stipulated enough that most Goblins consider humanity to be real competition when it comes to haggling, manipulating publicity, and negotiating. There is a respect in that, but there is also no short end of animosity or, at this point, subtle hostility. Humans were quick to take advantage of decrying Goblin loyalties during the Second War as a means to cut down on competition - their words influenced the Dwarves and the Gnomes especially. While many Goblins still managed to weasel in influence, such as the Venture Company that sold lumber to the Stonemasons rebuilding Stormwind - which would also see a lot of lumber going north for other reconstructions where Goblins were a great deal more demonized - just as many Goblins found themselves the objects of hostility. Especially at sea, where such things could be gotten away with. As a result, Goblins as a people consider humans to be frustrating if grudgingly capable, generally doing business with them only when it's most profitable. They tend to compete the rest of the time.

(In RP : Tread lightly. Humans are competition, and they know that. Simple as that. The local humans are just as stingy as your average merchant, and while that can make a respectable bit of coin, it is far more likely it'll come back and bite-cha. You also can't trust them like you would an Orc or Tauren. Human 'honor' is fickle as can be, worse than Trolls sometimes. They will try to gull you, you just got to realize that and work with it. Of course, these days, a Human will just as much stick a blade in yah than talk deals. Best to get them for all you can get, then blow before they can get you. Even if you end up liking some human, watch out - most can be tricky with the best of 'em. Never let your guard down.

(FROM Humans :Goblins. Greedy little greenskins. Like I don't know where their loyalties lie these days! Once in a while, you can get something valuable out of them - but watch out, they're as tricky as they come. Check everything before you buy it, too. They have no shame, and their craftmanship is very questionable. Even if it isn't going to fall apart on its own, who can say they aren't hiding a bomb in there somewhere? You can never, ever trust one a Goblin. Keep your wits about you and don't deal with them unless you do not have a choice. Besides, everyone knows that Gnomish technology is more stable - and you don't have to worry about them attempting sabotage. You'd definitely be better off.




Dwarves :

Before the Second War, the Goblins and Dwarves had very little contact at all. Dwarves had generally been an insular people dealing with their own kind, trading very little with outsiders like the Humans. The only exception to that was the Gnomes, whom most races didn't even know existed for the most part. As such, Goblins have very few preconceptions about Dwarves save stereotypes learned in the time since the Second War. As the Goblins were vilified alongside the Horde by Human diplomacy and history books, the Dwarves trusted their newly sworn allies. While the Goblin technological competition with Gnomes has been much publicized, competition with Dwarves has - if anything - never been acknowledged. In general, there had been little tension between the Goblins and Dwarves that hasn't come about as the result of Alliance politics or Venture Company recklessness. Any merchant competition with the Dwarves tends to come in the form of Goblin Cartels financing non-Dwarven breweries during Brewfest time. A concept which undoubtedly curls no small amount of Dwarven beards.

Gnomes:

Night Elves:

Draenei:

Worgen:

THE OTHERS:

Ethereals:

Demons:


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So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Empty Re: So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb

Post by Aadaria-Ioanna Mon Jul 30, 2012 5:53 am

CHAPTER 5.) THE LEDGERS OF HISTORY - A History of the Goblin Race
---------------------------
Goblin Prehistory
(Pre-Titanic Times to Post-Sundering & The Enslavement)
---------------------------


- ??? to -65,000 before the Dark Portal Opened.

IN THE BEGINNING...

We don't know when the Universe began. We just know it was a very, very, VERY long time ago. The Universe is older than the Titans. Older than the Old Gods. Older than the Elementals themselves. None of them, it is said, know when it began, or how. It just happened. And our planet came to be. Some of us like to think there might've been some sort of explosion that blasted out the Universe, and that we're living on a rock flying from that big explosion - which we can see now, and call the 'Sun'. That makes some sense. Everything, good or bad, begins with a Bang usually.

What came next, near as we can figure, was an undefined count of ages upon ages of Elementals fighting over the rock that was our young planet. Different kinds of elements fighting one another in endless wars of creation and destruction, becoming 'Elementals'. Nothing that 'lives' existed yet so far as we know - just elementals. To hear told, there were no plants, no animals, and of course, no Goblins. That constant warring kept on until something from out there in the Twisting Nether came to our rock and changed everything forever.

I've heard it told both ways, though I'm going to go with the Old Ones landing first. That's what the oldest books say. We don't know why they came, and probably we can't ever know what they really want. We don't know how many of them came here, or where they came from. We just plain don't know when it comes to these things. What we do know is that they are pretty damn powerful. They dominated the elementals before too long, and turned their armies into their own chess pieces for entertainment (or whatever unfathomable motives they had). The chaos wasn't just random anymore, it was THEIR chaos.

Then, it's said, the Titans came. Furbolgs are said to remember that time, so too the Murlocs, so maybe the Old Gods actually created some races out there from the Elemental chaos. That'll factor later on, as I theorize where we came from. The Titans, according to the myths, had been wandering around the universe since its beginning 'ordering' worlds around. That consisted of beating down Elementals and turning the general primordial chaos into ordered little clockwork worlds based on their own sense of rightness. We don't know where the Titans originally came from, or where they got this idea to organize every damn thing in the universe, but they sure as fel came here and decided they were damn well going to do that. And they didn't like the Old Gods at all, calling them "infectious parasitic, necrophotic symbiotes". Whatever that means. Titans seem to be contradicting themselves, as parasites and symbiotes are two very different kinds of critters.

Maybe there's some primordial hatred between the two. At any rate, the Old Gods didn't like that, so the Titans and the Old Gods fought like two fat hobgoblins over a Winter Veil Ham, changing the world with every conflict. Eventually, the Titans won out. General consensus paints that at about -65,000 years before the Human Calendar, and that's if you go by the Titan's description of it, which the Dwarves dug up from ruins like Uldaman and Ulduar. The Titans sealed those Old Gods beneath the ground, sealed the Elementals in their own little pocket-dimensional bedrooms, and set about taking the mess and making it more into what they considered a proper world should be. They also took the Dragons from the Proto-Drakes they were during the great Elemental nightmare the world was supposed to been beforehand, and took five of the toughest ones to make their Pets/Custodians. Red, Blue, Black, Bronze, and Green, each with a job to do. Evolution started, nature 'began', so on and so forth. That's also the time they created things like the Earthen and Giants as tools from the very ground to do the job. After, we presume, hitting it with a big 'OK' stamp, they flew back off into the Cosmos to go order something else around.

Still, some histories say that the Old Gods tried a prison break of sorts back then through a world tree even older than the one at Hyjal, spat some curse out that turned the Earthen and Giants (maybe even other things in nature, maybe even the trees were metal things... hard to say with Titan's order fetish) into fleshy things like Dwarves, Gnomes, Vrykul, and Humans we know today. The Titans claim that this was to 'Weaken and facilitate corruption', though to hear told, that doesn't sound like a Curse. Sounds like a damn blessing, even a gift even. Can you imagine what it must've been like to NOT eat, drink, feel, or fornicate? Sounds like a bad rep given by Titans sore that they fucked up their sandcastle. The Titans were not amused. They came right back to punch the Old Gods in the kisser.

And beat they did, but thanks to this 'curse', they figured out they couldn't kill them or it'd kill the world (presumably tying us to the Old Gods themselves in a way). They sealed up the Old Gods but good this time, and plopped their scary big Black Dragon Earth Warding Aspect in charge of the keys (Not unlike a Dog from a certain Disney Movie about Pirates in the Carribean). Because there's no way that could go wrong, of course. They left some other Titans behind, presumably ones they didn't like too much, and set back off to go build more sandcastles on distant worlds.

After that, our world just kinda evolved. The Old Gods whispered some things in Deathwing's ears and got him more paranoid than an island chicken in a pack of sleeping tigers.

And it's in that time period of post-Titans where we come in. Or perhaps, we came in earlier than that. That's the real question.


So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Wow-ca10



THE QUESTION OF ORIGIN: Where did the Goblins Come From?

So we come to the big question: Where did the Goblins, as a race, originate from? While the Dwarves, Humans, Gnomes and the like have uncovered the truth about their creation as Titan tools, we Goblins have no demeaning origin story. Nor any at all. It's a difficult question, and one that in order to find the 'truth' of, we'll have to shed our racial pride and really get down to the gritty about history.

Let's first examine the FACTS of what we know from established Lore:

IMPORTANT POINT ONE:
According to The War of the Ancients, Deathwing, in ancient times, used Goblin Artificiers to create the Dragon Soul Artifact, which was used in the battles against the Burning Legion during the first invasion of Azeroth which preceeded the Sundering.

"At some point shortly before the War of the Ancients, Neltharion used his own essence and the skills of his goblin artificer-servants to create an artifact of incredible power, in order to combat the invading forces of the Burning Legion."

IMPORTANT POINT TWO:
There is an Aquatic Species of Goblin, Gil-Goblins, which exist in Azeroth's Ocean. These are our closest relatives. We have seen them now. We know they exist.

"My guess is that they're the precursor race. Goblins lack any link to Titan origins, and they originated from the isle of Kezan, which means they could be evolved to live on land. Not to mention goblins prefer to live along coastlines or anywhere close to large bodies of water, namely oceans. Also, going along with the murloc similarities, Murlocs were said to have predated the Titan's arrival, meaning they were a natural Azerothian species. Could be the same for goblins, or in this case Gilgoblins."

IMPORTANT POINT THREE:
In an early Goblin quest, a very powerful ancient Deep One mentions that it remembers when Goblins were 'Created'.

"Faceless of the Deep yells: Little goblins? I remember when your race was created."

With those three important points addressed, and existing Lore we're aware of from the Origin of the World itself, we can draw the following:

A.) Goblins, as a race, are older than the Sundering, but not older than the arrival of the Titans or the sealing away of the Elemental Lords. We are, however, older the corruption of Deathwing, who was hatching his first major evil scheme with the Goblins as his servants. This would suggest that Goblin Origin comes in sometime between the Titans sealing the Elementals away and well before Deathwing had them create the Demon Soul; a window between -65,000 to -10,000 [A whopping 55,000 Years!] for the Goblins to have evolved even by 'natural' means, let alone artificial ones. Still, this makes them potentially an older race than Humans, Gnomes, or Dwarves (all of whom were still Titan constructs during that period of time) or the the land-dwelling Antediluvian races of Furbolgs & Murlocs (who claim to have remembered the arrival of the Titans, which imply they were flesh and blood during the Elemental Chaos), Trolls, Azj'aqir, and Hyborne, who also claim origin in that general period of time post Elemental Chaos but pre-sundering.

B.) In addition to that, Goblins were an advanced race pre-sundering. They had 'Artificiers', arcane craftsman of enough skill and renown as to have a Dragon Aspect of Earth choose them for his very ambitious evil project. Mere mindless slaves aren't able to craft the intricacies of an advanced artifact of that nature, let alone do the enchantments required to be a true 'Artifact'. There was more than enough time for them to develop that even by natural means, but we know Goblins were 'created'.

FURTHER evidence even mentions that it was Goblins who were chosen as the first to fix metal plates to Neltharion's rage-ravaged body afterward. This was long before Adamantine ones were affixed to him, and way before the more recent Elementium plates were added by the Twilight Cult.

FURTHER evidence of a Goblin/Deathwing connection is evidenced by the fact that Deathwing, after he emerges, goes out of his way on purpose to strike at Kezan, the homeland of the Goblins. We know Deathwing easily holds grudges, especially considering how savagely he attacked Stormwind (it is rumored) due to Onyxia being slain by Varian Wrynn. Deathwing's attack on Kezan could possibly be out of similar vengeance for failing him in ancient times somehow?

C.) Pre-Sundering, Goblins are mentioned as 'Reclusive' and 'didn't have a fraction of their current intelligence'. They were not a directly present force in the great war before the Sundering. So they were known of and somehow intelligent enough at the time to serve Deathwing as well as keep reclusive from world powers such as The Aqir Empire, The Zandalari Empire, and the Hyborne of Queen Azshara. None of these would be minor feats for an unintelligent race.

D.) Again Goblins are were in fact created , and are mentioned as ancient.




So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb World_14




EMERGENT THEORY

According to the many pieces of evidence we've viewed here, Goblins are clearly a very ancient race. From what the Deep One stated, Goblins were 'created'. But by whom, and when? This is the million gold question - and extremely important to the understanding of Goblin origins themselves.

We know very little of the pre-sundering Geography save that the area that is now Kezan was once likely part of a landmass that fell beneath the waves only to be lifted again by volcanic activity. Kezan, as an Island now, has only existed for about 10,000 years. Tops. Goblins are older than that. We have evidence that Goblins existed pre-sundering - for such a time period as to become advanced Artificers in the service of the Deathwing before his full corruption.

THEREFORE; Goblins did not originate from Kezan the 'Island'. Clearly, as it was not an Island - and it is not likely they were located in that inland location where Kezan existed during Ancient Times, as we have a note of aquatic origin/creation from a Deep One. Could they have migrated? And where from?

Note that Goblins were a reclusive race, as was also mentioned. In order to be so reclusive, it would not have been likely they'd have had any proximity to any of the real world powers of the Ancient World. Consider also that Goblins are not connected to any other race we know of on Azeroth short of appearance.

This leads me to one primary Theory:
The Mephit Genesis.


What is a 'Mephit'? Well, in the pen and paper RPG, Mephits are basically Sprites (See Pictures) - tiny element-made-flesh creatures that serve certain Elements. They are 'created' from an Element or Compound Element (such as Ice(Water/Air), Mud(Water/Earth), Magma(Earth/Fire), etc) and made flesh (possibly via the same methods as the 'Curse' of Flesh). Note that Warlock's Imps are a similar kind of creature, and are thus likely 'Fel' Mephits in this sense. How did they come to be in the service of the Burning Legion? That also can be explained later.


A 'Flamekin' Sprite; Fire Based Mephit


A 'Grell'; An Earth based Sprite

Note the features. Pointy ears. Short stature. Oversized Hands, arms, and feet with clawed fingertips. Intelligent and energetic. Agile, NON-hooved feet (Different from most Demons). Large noses. And look, they even have green skinned subspecies!


A 'Vile' Sprite; A Water-based Poison Mephit

How does that connect? Very interestingly so, as we'll examine.

Mephits were created by the Elemental Lords, who in turn serve the Old Gods. These 'sprites' are thus based on elemental themes and origins. The key is 'Created'; made from element and transformed into flesh. The Deep One who mentioned Goblins as a created race is also a servant of the Old Gods, who in turn would know this. Mephits are not fully elemental, and are thus not capable of being as easily bound as pure Elementals are to the pocket-prisons the Titans confined them to. They are the 'cheat' to the system, possibly as a way to help free the Old Gods themselves.

Thus, Mephits are an old creation. VERY ancient. There are accounts of them well before the Sundering - the stragglers of the Elemental Lords, and a force of the natural world.

Now, here's where it gets interesting. The morphology of the Mephits/Sprites when compared to Goblins and Trolls is very similar. The same characteristic pointy ears. The same gangly appearance, long forearms, large hands and feet. It could well be that these Elemental creations are responsible for both races. Not a very popular concept, I assure you, among the Gobs who think very lowly of Trolls - but then, not that different from the Night Elves who can't stomach the idea that they may have come from an offshoot Troll tribe that settled around the Well of Eternity more than 10,000 years ago.

Eventually, the result could be that we'd see Goblins and Trolls over time - perhaps a common origin; analagous to how Dwarves and Gnomes are related despite their size, sharing a common origin. Consider also that both Trolls and Goblins make very capable Shamans, with the ability to speak to the elements, share similar physical features (except height) and even strikingly similar accents (one could even say DIALECTS). Goblins, especially, have a knack for taking the elements (in the form of Engineering) and making fantastic things. Trolls revere the Elements very heavily, as well as the primoridal spirits of the world - as though they know deep down such origins - but never seemed to use the advanced crafting techniques of the Goblins.

It gets even more interesting if you consider that this 'Curse of Flesh' that could've allowed for the creation of Mephits/Sprites came from the Old Gods, but has also the noted effect of confusing the heck out of the creature made flesh (note how most Dwarves never really knew they were Earthen until the last couple years or so). Given flesh, many of these creatures - possibly meant to help break the Elemental Lords/Old Gods out of prison - would undoubtedly get side tracked. All that energy, food, and a wash of sensation leading them astray. And suddenly, they bred. A lot.

So for ages after the Titans left, as the Old Gods and Elemental Lords facepalmed in their pocket dimensions, some species of Mephits just kept breeding and breeding without the direct control of their imprisoned creators. Evolution took its toll, of course, and the eventually the taller 'Trolls' went one way, the smaller 'Goblins' went the other. The Trolls created Empires, and the Goblins created whatever reclusive civilization they had - until Deathwing, under the sway of the Old Gods, decided to use these wily old Mephits that still contained the cunning of their birthright as part of both his (and their) designs.

Thus, the Goblins served Deathwing (and their old Masters) by creating the Demon Soul. The events of the Sundering happened, and many Goblins might've been taken during that conflict - or perhaps other Sprites/Mephits - who would become Fel Tainted. The First Imps, joining the Burning Legion as lackeys. 'Fel' Mephits. Others might've fallen beneath the waves - getting offered a deal not unlike the Hyborne, in service of an Old God or the Elemental Lord of the Sea, Neptulon. And that bargain could be where Gil-Goblins came from.



So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb World-15



POST SUNDERING & TROLL ENSLAVEMENT

Some time later, post Sundering, some Gil-Goblins may have started doing the same thing Murlocs were doing - coming up on beaches to be safe from the conflicts beneath the waves. Or perhaps for some other reason - the existence of Kaja'mite, perhaps, might explain that. Perhaps an attempt of an Old God trying to get the errant Mephits to get back on task, to use their cunning technology to break the world open and free them. To do that? A mineral distillate that inspires intelligence and brilliant innovation. Kaja'mite.

All of that is conjecture, of course. Perhaps simply some Goblins survived the sundering through Deathwing's aid. Through whatever means, we know early Goblins ended up on Kezan, and that they ended up incredibly stupid. Perhaps it was something to do with the Sundering itself, a condition similar to what the Broken Draenei experienced after Outland was blown up. Either way, history paints us as losing out in the brains department. For a while, the Goblins just kinda existed on Kezan - we think just fornicating and enjoying the beaches.

Not long later, the Troll Empire that survived would eventually colonize Kezan, enslaving those native Goblins, and have them mine Kaja'mite for their Voodoo Rituals. Apparently, Kaja'mite is useful in really dark spiritual rituals - gee? Who'd guess? However, what we DO know is that Kaja'mite had properties that didn't seem to improve the Trolls near as much as the Goblins who mined it.

As Goblins were subjected to the mineral, it caused massive shifts in intelligence. Over a long period of time (easily a couple hundred years), Goblins developed increased mental ability while Trolls didn't seem anywhere near as affected. Almost as though Kaja'mite had a purpose in the Goblins specifically. Ultimately, the Goblins would take the tricks, magics, tactics, and weapons of the Trolls and emacipate themselves - throwing the Trolls instead into the mines to farm THEIR Kaja'mite. The mineral that gave them everything back.

And that's where theory ends and recorded history begins.



So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb 4416c710


---------------------------
The Golden Age
(Emancipation to The Kaja'mite Crisis)
---------------------------



-??? to -200 before the Dark Portal.

The Golden Age of Kezan

While the exact date of the Emancipation is unknown, what we do know is that Goblins turned the tables on the Trolls that enslaved them, throwing the Trolls into the mines to harvest Kaja'mite for themselves, and began what we refer to as the 'Golden Age' of Kezan.

For countless centuries civilization erupted. Undermine, the largest source of Kaja'mite, changed from a literal mine to a sprawling underground metropolis. The swiftness of Goblin breeding, along with the unique properties of Kaja'mite, hastened evolution. Goblins themselves changed. If the Mephit Genesis theory is accurate, this is the period of time where Goblins themselves grew several sizes taller, developed the skin tones they have today, and started using their existing knack for shaping elements into useful things - the origins of Goblin Engineering. As Goblins on Kezan advanced, Trolls on Kezan atavized; devolving into shadows of their former advancement - more primitive than their forebears.

Goblin building techniques and styles went through constant reinvention and innovation. Everywhere throughout Kezan was the dynamic essence of a race in its prime, fueled by the power of the Kaja'mite Mineral. Technologies such as steam power, electricity, and early mechanical sciences developed at an alarming rate to a level of advancement seen no-where else in the world at that period - rumors even point that at that same time in history, not even the technological prowess of Dwarves or Gnomes surpassed them. Isolated on Kezan from outside interlopers, the Goblins enjoyed relative safety to devote to their advancement.

It is during this Golden Age that the first major economic concepts started - as direct violent conflict between Goblins in such a short space, with such advanced technology - led to incredibly advanced forms of psychological warfare. Trade became the 'real' conflict, and rigid pecking orders in society were established. The creation of 'Trade Princes' and Cartels developed in this period.

Then, about 200 years before the Opening of the Dark Portal, Goblin society hit the apex of it's Golden Age, and with it, the limit of their Kaja'mite.



The Kaja'mite Crisis

Throughout the Golden Age after the Emancipation, Kaja'mite Minerals became not just the instrument and symbol of Goblin ascenscion, but also increasingly rare and valuable. Undermine's supply of Kaja'mite had reached its limit, prompting expansion into other regions of the island nation to hunt for it. Cities such as Edj and Bilgewater were founded in that period of time. Kaja'mite had a value well above precious metals such as Gold and Truesilver, used in everything from being cut to fit Jewelry to Magical Foci, to even edible forms like a kind of salt or food additive. As Kaja'mite supplies dwindled, the Goblins noticed a slump in their own creativity and innovation. A kind of 'withdrawal' from the effects of Kaja'mite, leading to desperation.

As supplies on the Island dipped lower and lower, this desperation further tempered the place of business in society. Wealth became synonomous with 'I have Kaja'mite' which reads more like 'I have your fix, I am smarter and better than you'. Goblins became a great deal more like what we know them today. To compare this to another race, such as the Blood Elves - the loss of Kaja'mite was like when the Elves lost the Sunwell. Imagine if magic was as simple as buying. You'd see a TON of increasingly shrewd Elves selling off their own children for their precious Magic, and literally devoting themselves to becoming world masters of merchantile to trade for the wealth needed to buy the magic.

A decision was handed down from the Trade Princes to set out from beyond Kezan to find new sources of Kaja'mite - founding their own Fleets to seek it out. They proposed trading with other Races, who may have located some, as well as to provide Kezan with further wealth to trade amongst themselves for Kaja'mite. They had known there were other races out there; other seafarers had come across Kezan on the rare occassion, usually in the form of pirates or explorers with very coveted exotic items like Silk. At any rate, the decision was made - the Goblins would expand outwards from Kezan, trading and exploring, to grow richer and find more Kaja'mite. The idea was really popular among all Goblins, from the aristocracy to the working class - a kind of Gold Rush, leading to countless Goblins building boats to seek a fortune to bring home.

It wasn't long before the huge Trade Fleet became a truly huge force, and established several enclaves in locations such as southern Stranglethorne Vale and the sandy beaches of Tanaris.



So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Suave_10



---------------------------
The Rise of Merchantile & The First Great War of Azeroth:
(Warcraft I: Orcs and Humans)
---------------------------



0 to 8 years after the Dark Portal Opened.

World Class Merchants

In two centuries, Goblins had become well known throughout the world. Brazen traders, with a knack for haggling and no pre-existing grudges against any race or people, offered many races out there a way to get goods they otherwise wouldn't. Goblins also became a very masterful seafaring race in that time, adapting their technology and cunning to navigating Azeroth's oceans, while the Trade Fleet became one of the toughest, armed to the teeth armada's in the world - fighting off pirates and creatures of the sea.

The sheer scope of their influence on the seas is unfathomable. Most other races tended to stick to their own continents; Kaldorei as well as other races of Kalmidor stuck to their side, while Humans, Dwarves, Sin'dorei, and others stayed among the Eastern Kingdoms. Only the rarest lot would try open ocean travel, fear of the maelstrom, and of the creatures of the deep, kept them close to known shores.

However, Goblins themselves were one of the first true, neutral, intercontinental traders. The exclusivity of their goods imported from exotic locations were valued on both sides of the world, further cementing them in the public eye of most races. Their neutrality in politics, and lack of existing bad blood with ANY race gave them an incredible position in trade as well. The coffers of Kezan grew quickly with an influx of exotic goods and gold, but still, no Kaja'mite - nor any account of it from anywhere in the world. Not the frozen north, not the wilder west, or the developed east. The demand of Kaja'mite became more and more expensive, the need more desperate, leading to more and more fervent Goblin trading.

And then came the arrival of the Orcish Horde from the Black Morass - who, with their tales of 'Draenthyst' Minerals, mysterious new worlds, and the spoils of an ever growing War, would make the Goblin race an offer they literally couldn't let themselves refuse.

The Arrival of the Orcs, and the First Great War
Contrary to accounts from non-Goblin sources, when the First War actually began, Goblins were mostly unware of it. The Trade Fleets were already established, trading throughout Azeroth, and the Goblins didn't 'create their Trade Empire' exclusively from being War Profiteers - as Alliance biased history books try to encourage. Goblins traded on the Eastern Kingdoms as far north as Westfall and what is now Duskwood along established Human roads, trading with Humans for exotic goods from other races - such as Dwarves or Gnomes, who dwelt further inland. For the few years before the First War, trade was amicable between them.

Eventually, Goblin trade routes discovered Orcish forces. This is where history changed. Fortunately for the Goblins (and the Horde) first contact with the Orcs did not come from the vicious conquering axes that would come from the second big push (that destroyed Stormwind and many other Human Towns) but from routed forces of the First Push recovering from the early offensive, on the run from Human retaliation. Obviously desperate for supplies, the Goblins offered to trade with the Humans - in a sense waylaying them, allowing the straggling Orcs some time. Other Goblins made first contact with those Orcs, trading with them for supplies and information on routes through Duskwood. It wasn't long before those Orcs returned to Warchief Blackhand (and always listening Gul'dan, who puppeted that Warchief) with accounts of little, smart (possibly domitable) greenskinned world traders who could be potentially useful against the enemy, and knew the world as they did not.

Envoys were sent not long later, into Stranglethorne Vale and to various Goblin caravans traveling the roads. These Envoys spoke of things that made Goblins have itchy palms. They spoke of profit, of spoils of war (that could make Trade Princes of them all). Most importantly, they spoke of another world, rife with possibility - Draenor. And when asked of Kaja'mite, the Orcs spoke of magical minerals of Draenor - such as Draneythst. In the mean time, during those talks, most other Goblins were still selling to the Humans - particularly the refugees fleeing Stormwind in a mass exodus north.



So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb 580_fe10



----------------------------------
The Post-First War Period & The Second Great War :
(Warcraft II: Tides of Darkness & Beyond the Dark Portal Era)
----------------------------------



9 to 20 Years after the Dark Portal Opened.

The Steamwheedle Deal & Wartime Inventions

It was only after the fall of Stormwind and the end of the First War that serious negotiations were taking place to secure exclusive Goblin support for the Horde. This would be the first time in Goblin history that they would be non-neutral in a conflict. Envoys (direct from Gul'dan - who quickly saw the benefit of Goblin navigational knowledge, knowing what HE wanted) would be accepted on a voyage to Kezan to negotiate with the rulers of the Goblins.

An exclusive deal was reached between Trade Prince Steamwheedle, and his Cartel, with the Orcish Horde. A deal the Prince would later regret, of course. This deal provided Goblin navigational training for Orcish Mariners looking to sail Azeroth's seas as well as crews of poorer Goblins swept up from the streets who would become disposable Sapper Crews in hopes of making enough money to change their fortunes. The Horde heartily approved and the deal was signed in Undermine itself.

For a few years, Goblins worked with the Horde - teaching and inventing. Many incredible breakthroughs in invention came about during the pre-second war period. For example, the discovery of 'Black Oil'.

Though that Goblin's name is lost to the Second War, a black substance was discovered in murky patches of water of Stranglethorne Veil. This 'black oil' was incredibly flammable, yet much more stable than Gunpowder traded from Dwarves and reverse engineered. Sifting it from the water was very difficult, but that Goblin discovered that if you can build a pump, you can literally bottle it out of the ground. Goblin Alchemists further refined that Black Oil, transmuting and adapting it into a clear, super flamable concentrated form that was well neigh-explosive. In that period of time, a think tank of cunning Goblin Engineers adapted several steam engines to use 'Phologiston' (The 'Converted' Black Oil; what RL we would call 'Gasoline') in a series of controlled explosions, powering huge pistons steam would normally be used for, and creating a dynamo of mechanical power far more powerful. Thus was discovered the first combustion Engine. With both the raw Black Oil and Phlogiston, the very first Goblin Zeppelins took to the skies of Azeroth.

As the time of the Second War was approaching close at hand, and the Horde brought in Ogres from their homeworld, the Humans began making deals with the Dwarves, whom the Orcs had already started attacking, and their smaller cousins, the Gnomes. This new 'Alliance' had recieved reports of the Goblins working with the Horde, and immediately became hostile - no longer trading, instead preferring to trade internally with Gnomes for advanced Technology. Thus began the start of the infamous Gnomish/Goblin rivalry, which heated up a great deal in wartime.

And the Second War, the 'Tides of Darkness', began.





The Second Great War of Azeroth; The 'Big One'

Much has been written of the Second War by a variety of other sources (the best one probably being the Article 'Second War' on WoW WIKI). So I'll only include the highlights - especially where Goblins factor in.

The Second War opened up with invasions through Khaz Modan as well as a massive naval invasion from Silverpine to Arathi in southern Lordaeron, but mostly centered on the Hillsbrad Shoreline. There, a massive armada of Orcish seacraft (Amani Warships, Ogrish Juggernaughts, and, of course, the aerial superiority of Goblin Zeppelins) clashed against the shoreline defenses of the newly formed Alliance. It was a big battle, one that the Horde ultimately won toeholds in - pushing into the Hillsbrad countryside and establishing basecamps to strike north.

Rather than moving westward through Silverpine forest and risking counterattack from the forces of Gilneas and Dalaran - with their Mage support and well trained armies - the Horde decided to move northwards through Alterac. Along the way north, the Horde freed a Troll Hero, Zul'jin, and secured the alleigence of the Forest Trolls against the Alliance. Alterac, secretly, betrayed the Alliance and made deals with the Horde to open up an easy path to the Lordaeron Capital city. In the mean time, Kul'Tiras - a Human seafaring nation that had long been competing with Goblins for trade on the open seas - was mounting a counterattack in the Bay of Menethil to cut off Horde reinforcements from the south. Meanwhile, Dwarven support had arrived in Alterac from the Hinterlands - riding Gryphons that were very hazardous to our Zeppelins.

To counter the Naval forces encroaching from the Bay, as well as to secure air superiority against the Gryphon Riders, the Horde turned to Goblin ingenuity.

Meanwhile, The Bleeding Hollow clan of the Horde had the rest of the Dwarves and Gnomes, back in Khaz'modan, pressed back into their capital cities. Goblins were used there to assault the gates, though the sapper charges were not yet strong enough to bring them down. Along the way, many schematics and technological advancements were taken for Goblin use. And they were definitely useful.


"Seatuttles, mite. Seatuttles."

We were all too happy to help against Kul'tiras - and several Gobs from Kezan came up with just the idea. The crazy Gob who invented this solution is just quoted as saying 'Seatuttles, mite. Seatuttles'. His plan was a bold one - using chemical mixtures secured from the Horde's new Troll allies, refined and adapted with Goblin Alchemy, we doubled the size of aquatic Southsea Turtles called from the depths by Stormreavers, and made them completely obedient to our will using the chemicals and electrical wiring adapted from Gnomish designs. Who needs a carrot-on-a-stick? The next order of business was to use 'Black Oil' to create a waterproof canopy to allow a wily goblin pilot to stay on that turtle's back, and not drown in the chilly ocean. Easily done. We created the first submersible - armed with phlogiston-fueled rocket launchers adapted on principles from Dwarven Firearms. Of course, the turtle would have to surface to shoot them.

In short, it was if anything INCREDIBLY effective against the Tirassan Navy. So much so, that our wartime rivals, the Gnomes, developed their own highly advanced submerssible to counter our simple turtle submarines. It was grudgingly effective, in the end, as the Alliance would eventually prevail there.


"Some of the boys back during the war. 90% of Goblin Sappers died detonating their payload, and died for the Horde."

By that time, the war was in full swing. Goblin Sappers were blowing down walls of castles and keeps, as well as Elven forests. The Horde - now led by Orgrim Doomhammer - pushed northward to Lordaeron and Gul'dan used Goblin explosives to free Elven Runestones in Quel'thalas. We became instrumental to the Horde war effort, and much maligned by the Alliance races. Though the spoils were as great as the Envoys made them out to be - securing the schematics to Dwarven Firearms, Gnomish advanced Mechanics and Electrical Circuits, as well as Gold, Black Oil, and all manner of other neat things, the cost in Goblin lives, as well as in trade concessions, would haunt Trade Prince Steamwheedle until his death.

On the eve of what would've been the final battle of the Second War, Orgrim Doomhammer's forces marched squarely onto the Lordaeron Capital city. It was to be a two pronged attack - his forces taking the center, covered from behind by Gul'dan's own Stormreaver and Twilight Hammer Clans. Well, that wouldn't happen that way. Gul'dan took Goblin Zeppelins and Orcish ships, abandoning the fight to seek the object of his goals - the Tomb of Sargeras.

Orgrim, and the Horde, were pushed back by a spectacular counter from the Alliance, and further routed, one step at a time, all the way down to the fiery lands around Blackrock Spire. There, the Horde was broken. Ogrim went into hiding, the Orc Clans scattered, the Amani Trolls fled into the Hinterlands and southern Quel'thalas.

As for the Goblins, most returned home. Others (such as yours truly) fell in with the Orc renegades that escaped the concentration camps. Other Goblins, however, went through the Dark Portal with the Orcish Horde. We wouldn't know of their fate until just a year or two ago.



So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb 20090810



----------------------------------
Post-Second War Period & The Third Great War of Azeroth
(Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos & Frozen Throne Era)
----------------------------------



20 to 30 Years after the Dark Portal Opened.

For those that stayed: The Holdouts

For those that remained with the Horde, life was hard. It wasn't about the profit anymore. It was about survival, day to day. The Alliance had come close to annihilation, and their vengence was just as bloodthirsty as any battleraging Orc or Ogre. Many Goblins didn't return back to Kezan - either being cut off from any means to return, or simply by comraderie they'd developed with their companions. Renegade clans, such as the Warsong under Grom Hellscream, prided their Goblin's talents in their hit-and-run tactics against the Alliance. Goblin Land Mines, it's said, were developed in this timeperiod for just such purposes.

Other Goblins, as we mentioned, went through the Dark Portal in search of money, glory and Kaja'mite. There, when the Alliance led expeditions to stop the Orcish Warchief, Ner'zhul, many Goblins were caught in the crossfire. When Draenor became Outland, still many Goblins survived. They gathered in a place known as Netherstorm, built their own city with the help of Ethereal traders and carved a life for themselves out against the warped wildlife and savage demons. They founded 'B.O.O.M.' in interests of building a rocket to return to Azeroth, to Kezan. We wouldn't hear about them until about a year or two ago.



For those that went home: Repercussions of War

With the Horde shattered and defeated, the economy of Kezan suffered a backlash. The Alliance, now recumbent and vindictive, were hostile to the Goblins and as such, the Cartels not only lost the huge income from Horde spoils but the revenue from trade with the Humans. Only one group would trade with them, the Sin'dorei who pulled from the Alliance shortly after the end of the Second War. Even then, they were harsh times in Kezan. An economic recession happened, resulting in many larger Companies and Cartels going bankrupt, being merged into either the Bilgewater or Steamwheedle Cartels - the two financial giants of Kezan.

This taught Trade Prince Steamwheedle, and the Goblin people themselves, a huge lesson: Stray from neutrality, and you risk bankruptcy. The Steamwheedle Cartel was quick to jump on the bandwagon of neutrality - so much so that they went so far as turning over Goblin 'war criminals' - members of their own Cartel - to the Alliance in efforts to restore trade. Many Goblins, for whom surviving the war was actually quite uncommon, were shocked at that betrayal and left, some losing their holdings, getting ousted by their families, even killed by Bruisers or by bounty hunters. Others left to join the Bilgewater Cartel, who considered leaving Kezan to have been a bad idea anyway and wanted to focus a more 'homeland' based plan for the future.

The sad part is that the Steamwheedle Cartel's plans worked out well - and they may well have not even needed to throw their own to the wolves.



The New Neutrality & Economic Renewal

The truth is that the Alliance would've eventually had no choice but to turn to Goblin aid anyway. While the Alliance 'won' the Second War, the damage was still very extensive. Entire Towns and Cities needed to be rebuilt, and to do so, the Alliance taxed a great deal of its survivors. Dwarven and Gnomish architects were called in, faithful to the Alliance, but the cold fact is that many of the building materials needed came from Goblin deals.

In the time following the Second War, Kezan, in its recession, held its remaining Kaja'mite tightly, and developed a few new innovations from the stolen technology of the Second War. The most brilliant masterpiece of this period was the 'Goblin Shredder'. A machinized suit, using the latest advances of Gnomish Fused Wiring & hydraulics and Goblin-based phlogiston Combustion Engines, complete with advanced gyro-stablizers and arm mounted chainsaws. This impressive machine, needing only one quick witted Goblin, was capable of doing easily ten to fifteen peon's worth of lumber harvesting, not to mention its practical applications in combat. A former Admiral of the Goblin Trade Fleet that invented it, Razdunk, made a fortune from the design and it formed the finances he needed to found the Venture Company - dedicated to making profit in otherwise hard times. He quickly rose to Mogul status, renting his design outside of his native Cartel of Steamwheedle, and making one of the most potent profits of the recession. He set about putting his Shredders in the jungles of Stranglethorn Vale, quickly amassing lumber - which was readily sold to the rebuilding Alliance from Stormwind to Lordaeron in the north.

Meanwhile, a miracle seemed to occur on the far shore of Bilgewater Port. New advances in the field of blasting technologies (from the Second War) yielded the first Kaja'mite deposits in over two hundred or so years. The Bilgewater Cartel quickly leapt onto the opportunity, harvesting fresh Kaja'mite from just under sealevel. In addition, new sources of Black Oil were located off the coasts by submersibles - leading to the construction of oil rigs. The potential was there, between Bilgewater Cartel's new Kaja'mite and Steamwheedle's new Shredder (and glossed over trading) to pull the Goblins out of the rough patch that'd been causing a decline for centuries.



The Goblin that Gave Thrall Wings

For other Goblins that still remained on the run with the renegade Orc Clans, time was growing short. Holdout clans such as the Dragonmaw and the Warsong, who employed quite a few Goblins, found the Alliance coming down hard on them.

It was during this time that one Goblin would play an incredibly important role in the life of a young Orc who would one day become the Warchief of a completely new Horde.

Gazlowe was his name; a veteran of the Second War - a Zeppelin pilot and talented engineer. When Thrall escaped from Durnholde Keep's Orcish Internment Camps, he enlisted the aid of the grizzled Goblin renegade. Using limited parts, he managed to get a downed Zeppelin going - allowing Thrall to escape to Alterac, where the young Orc would meet his destiny with the Frostwolf Tribe.

From then on, Thrall would be leading the charge - freeing the Orcs from Internment, and giving them a fiery new spirit. For the Goblins that remained with renegade Horde forces, Thrall's insurgence was the first legitimate ray of hope in quite some time. The Third War was quickly coming.



The Third Great War of Azeroth

When the Third War came, it was a wonderful time for Goblin Civilization. Far from harm, Kezan thrived without the fear of the Burning Legion or the Undead Scourge - meanwhile offering transportation and services to both the Alliance and the Horde, as they pushed westward to the unknown lands of Kalimdor - places many Goblins had been trading with for quite some time. With the Alliance splintering and desperate in that period from the events of Lordaeron's fall, even veterans of the Second War formerly hostile to Goblins were desperately quick to purchase maps, bearings, and equipment.

Meanwhile, some Goblins stayed with Thrall's new Horde and going westward. Other Goblins simply decided to return home to Kezan - or else retired to other locations, such as southward to Stranglethorn Vale or locations on Kalimdor. Gazlowe, for example, established the boom-town of Ratchet there on Kalimdor's east coast not too far from his Orcish allies.

Despite the scope and magnitude of the War itself, most Goblins stayed out of the direct conflict. The exceptions being Horde loyalists who abandoned their Cartels to remain that way, as well as Venture Company Freelancers what were contracted by the Warsong Clan - using their Shredders to begin harvesting wood from Ashenvale Forest. To this day, many of them still serve the Horde via contract or sense of friendship or profit.



So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Goblin11



----------------------------------
The Modern Era
(Pre-World of Warcraft, World of Warcraft, Burning Crusade, and Wrath of the Lich King)
----------------------------------



30 to 35 Years after the Dark Portal Opened.

A New Golden Age Dawning...

The end of the Third War was a time of rebuilding and relative peace, where the trading efforts of the Goblins were again most fruitful.

Gazlowe, and his Goblins, aided Thrall in the construction of the Horde Capital of Orgrimmar on Kalimdor. The resulting finances from that enabled him to re-establish himself with the Steamwheedle Cartel as an unofficial Baron of Ratchet. Upon doing so, he declared Ratchet a neutral town, which was quickly respected by both Warchief Thrall of the Horde and Jaina Proudmoore, of the Alliance. So successful was Goblin expansion of this period that many new towns sprung up around Kalimdor - following Ratchet's success. Gadgetzan was founded in the Desert of Tanaris, as well as the Everlook - way up north in Winterspring. Eventually, even the neutral Goblin tradepost of Mudsprocket was founded in Dustwallow Marsh with the permission of the Alliance.

It was a boom-time to be sure. With a rich new source of Kaja'mite exclusively being mined by the Bilgewater Cartel, as well as Steamwheedle Cartel's massive boom in fully world-wide trade cross continent - smoothing over the difficulties of the Third War - the Goblins were set to be entering a new Golden Age. Meanwhile, Horde and Alliance expeditions beyond the Dark Portal saw the return of many other Goblins lost since the Second War - many members of B.O.O.M. returned home with fantastic new technology plundered from the Burning Legion as well as traded from the Ethereals.

All, however, was not as well as they thought. The most trying times were yet to come.



So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb J10


----------------------------------
Monopoly, Cataclysm, and an Uncertain Future...
(Cataclysm, and Beyond...)
----------------------------------


- 36 Years since the Opening of the Dark Portal and counting....

Rumblings of Instability

In the time since the Third War, Goblinkind had been riding high. Exotic new materials were coming in from the far corners of Azeroth, trade was established with many unusual races, as well as with the Alliance races. Gold and Kaja'mite was plentiful once more.

Even still, the shadow of the difficult economic times not long ago had not gone without lasting damage. Many of the Cartels that had existed before were no more; having been swallowed either by the Bilgewater or Steamwheedle Cartels. The time was set for a possible conglomeration of the two Cartels... Bilgewater, with it's rich Kaja'mite and brand new product, 'Kaja'Cola' - providing that Kaja'mite for the Goblin people in very well rationed, delicious doses - and Steamwheedle, with it's world spanning trade holdings.

For the first time in Kezan History, the potential of a single, supreme Cartel loomed. This would've been the ultimate achievement of Goblin solidarity, were it not that it was in the hands of two Trade Princes that had come out on top. In so doing, the Cartels became monopoly of greed and personal domination. In the hands of figures such as Trade Prince Gallywix, the worst of Goblin greed reared its ugly head.

In a time of plenty, Trade Prince Gallywix began to hoard his lavish possessions and tighten his payout to workers. As supreme Trade Prince of the Bilgewater Cartel, this had a chilling effect on the people - an artificial depression, tempered by his absolute power over the Cartel's assets. He became a financial dictator, demanding vicious things of his employees - a full half of the Goblin population - as well as exercising his megalomania. Goblins, desperate for pay to afford Kaja'mite, food, and property, had no choice but to cave to his demands. Meanwhile, he taxed outlying goods to the Steamwheedle Cartel, earning emnity from the Barons and Moguls. Trade Prince Steamwheedle said nothing, his silence odd considering the circumstances.

The world shook, and society rumbled as easily. Gallywix lorded over the entire Cartel as a vicious, decadent dictator - abusing the people, locking them up, or conscripting them into duties that would threaten their lives.

Heroes of the people, such as Mida Silvertongue, began to speak out against Gallywix and his well-paid Bruisers. However, before any real revolt could possibly take place - the entire world was interrupted by an even greater catastrophe.

The Devastation of Kezan
Exacerbated by the earthquakes caused by Deathwing's explosive re-emergence into Azeroth (as well as a stray footbomb that didn't help matters much) the slowly awakening volcano of Kezan - Kajaro - rocked into violent eruption. There was widespread panic, looting, and anarchy in the streets - as well as an opportunistic attack from Southsea Pirates taking advantage of the chaos.

Within a day or two, Kezan's surface itself was leveled by lava and pyroclastic flows. By that day's end, countless Goblins died in the violence, and the safety of distant Kezan was lost to the Goblin people.

Mere handfuls of the Goblin population were able to escape that destruction. Some paid exorbitant prices to escape on Gallywix's personal yacht, while others attempted to row away into the open ocean rather than succumb to the magma and choking ash. Others managed to be picked up by Trade Fleet ships stopping in for supplies, or worse, taken as slaves by Pirates.

On the other side of Kezan, the cities of Edj and Undermine are still unaccounted for. Many Goblins evacuated with the Blackwater Buccaneers - the pirate employees of Steamwheedle Cartel - from Edj. Those that dwelt in Undercity, beneath Kajaro itself, have not been heard from since. Even Trade Prince Steamwheedle's whereabouts are unaccounted for - leaving Trade Prince Gallywix as the only confirmed surviving Trade Prince. A thought that doesn't echo well in the minds or hearts of the survivors.

Elsewhere, the Cataclysm affected many goblin holdings. Booty Bay in Stranglethorn Vale was nearly annihilated by tidal waves, while Gadgetzan barely avoided flooding as well.

Bilgewater refugees landed off the tip of Kalimdor. The majority of them also on Lost Islands not far from Kezan - there, to find another steadily active Volcano about to go off, as well as the hostility of a warzone between the Horde and the Alliance.



Aadaria-Ioanna
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Post by Aadaria-Ioanna Mon Jul 30, 2012 5:59 am

CHAPTER 8: Sources & More Information.

Bibliography
• The War of the Ancients Trilogy, by Richard Knaak [First Official Mention of the Goblins]
• The World of Warcraft Pen & Paper Role Playing Game, by White Wolf Studios [Background on the Goblins & Kezan]

Gameography
• Warcraft II: Tides of Darkness [Which first introduced the Goblins!]
• Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos [Where the Goblins shined as Neutral in the conflict]
• Warcraft III Expansion: The Frozen Throne [Gazlowe helping build Orgrimmar, and other fun]
• World of Warcraft, and all of it’s Expansions (Burning Crusade, Wrath of the Lich King, and, of course, Cataclysm)



Websites
• The World of Warcraft Official Community Website = http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/
• WoW Wikipedia = http://www.wowwiki.com/
• WoW Trading Card Game Online Database = http://www.wowtcgdb.com/
• WoW Insider, the Premier E-Magazine = http://wow.joystiq.com/
• MMOChampion = http://www.mmo-champion.com/content/
• Thottbot, the Online WoW Database = http://thottbot.com/
• WoWHead, Another Online WoW Database = http://cata.wowhead.com/


Special Thanks to:
• Blizzard Entertainment, for creating this life-alteringly badass game and making Goblins more than screaming Middle-Earth savages!
• Michael Sacco, Matthew Rossi, Daniel Whitcomb, Alex Zeibart, and all other columnists at WoW.com, for their highly informative articles – especially the ‘Know your Lore’ ones, which remind us that the game we’re playing in a world of more than just gearscores and raid lockouts.


So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Tumblr23


9.) Bonus Appendix - The Goblin Manifesto of Profit
THE GOBLIN MANIFESTO OF PROFIT!




This ancient guide to successful life business is rumored to have existed since long before the Sundering. Many countless copies of this guide have existed, and this one is far from complete. Often, Goblin families pass a copy down, each successful Goblin adding an idea, observation, or handy tip they heard, stole, or just plain bought, as an investment in their family.

In Kezan tradition, successful families would bestow upon their most gifted young Goblin the handed down copy of this manuscript as well as a handful of family gold (or land title, depends) to get them started.

My family was much too poor to give me one (it went to my much older fourteenth brother, Kazz, who left home not long later, never to be seen again). This copy was a gift from an old friend back in the War who flew a Zeppelin. He gave it to me before he got shot down, and now, I'm sharing it with all of you. May its wisdom guide you as we make our way to better days and better profits.


So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Tumblr25


1.) Time = Money! All Goblins know this, and it’s the sacred truth of all Goblinhood.
2.) Always sell their shoes.
3.) A deal is a deal is a deal.
4.) Kill Three out of Five Business Rivals.
5.) Opportunity + Instinct = Profit
6.) Knowledge = Profit
7.) Profit = Profit
8.) Nothing is more important than your health… except your Gold!
9.) A contract is a contract is a contract… but only between Goblins!
10.) It never hurts to suck up to the boss
11.) Never spend more for something than you have to
12.) Once you have their Gold, NEVER give it back
13.) A wise Goblin can hear profit in the wind
14.) The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife
15.) Never offer an open back, not even to your ‘friends’
16.) Peace is good for business
17.) War is BETTER for business
18.) A Goblin without profit is no Goblin!
19.) A Goblin that gives away Gold without return is a green-painted Gnome.
20.) Never trust anyone wearing a better suit than yours.
21.) Free advice is seldom free; its leased at best, taxed at worst. Pay up front if you can, and pay good.
22.) Randomly declare peace with your enemies, confuses the Fel out of ‘em.
23.) Expand or die
24.) Every critter has its cost (variant, ‘every person has his price’)
25.) Nature decays, Gold is forever
26.) Dignity and an empty gold sack is worth the sack
27.) Whisper your way to success
28.) The squeaky wheel is the first to get replaced
29.) Clothes make the Goblin, but Profit makes the Clothes



So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb World-16


30.) Hear all, trust nothing. Agree totally.
31.) You can’t free a fish from water… unless it’s a Murloc, then keep it away so you can sell it water
32.) Never be afraid to mislabel a product
33.) No good deed ever goes unpunished
34.) If it exists, there's profit of it somewhere! (Thanks Phelix!)
35.) You can’t make a deal if you’re dead
36.) If you can’t make a deal, you’re better off dead
37.) What goes up, must come down (*unless you’re in Outland, then you’re just fucked)
38.) Always make the bomb five seconds fast and six seconds slow
39.) Only fools and gnomes sell wholesale
40.) After you’ve screwed someone, thank them - makes it easier to screw them next time
41.) A good lie always easier to believe than the truth
42.) The older it is, the more expensive it is
43.) Always examine the goods three times before you make a deal
44.) If they say you can’t sell arms, shoot ‘em – if they come back, offer them something to shoot back with
45.) Small print is huge risk
46.) Never confuse luck with wisdom
47.) Never ask when you can take
48.) Never trust anybody taller than you
49.) Never trust a Hobgoblin with a Secret
50.) Never trust an Elf with a Man’s job
51.) Never trust a gnome with a Goblin’s job
52.) Never trust an Ethereal. EVER.
53.) Never cheat an Ethereal… unless you can get away with it!
54.) Enough is never enough
55.) If you make a bad bargain, hug it all the tighter.
56.) Never overestimate the spending power of stupidity
57.) You can always sell someone a Bridge in Redridge
58.) There’s nothing more dangerous than an “honest” Goblin, except a She-Goblin
59.) Ask not what the profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits
60.) Everything is for sale, the trick is in the deal
61.) Everyone loves the bartender
62.) Fucking and Finances don’t mix, unless you’re a Pimp
63.) Even a blind Murloc can see the glitter of Gold
64.) There’s nothing wrong with charity, as long as it ends up in your pocket
65.) When a messenger comes to appropriate your profits… kill the messenger
66.) Anything worth doing is worth doing for a shitload of Gold
67.) Stick to your principles, you can afford better ones later anyway
68.) Always duck, for death is tall
69.) You can always sell Druids fertilizer



So you want to Roleplay a Goblin? By Zeeky H. Bomb Tumblr24


70.) Always keep your ears open
71.) A chicken is only an egg's way of making other eggs
72.) The flimsier the product, the higher the price
73.) Never teach what you can otherwise sell
74.) Trust is the BIGGEST investment, buyer beware!
75.) That which is free shouldn’t be
76.) You can’t buy fate, but you can bribe it for a while
77.) More is good, all is better
78.) Win or lose, there’s always fire
79.) A wealthy Goblin can afford anything except a conscience
80.) If YOU believe it, THEY will believe it
81.) All that Glitters is not Gold
82.) Catch an Orc a fish and you can sell it to him. Teach an Orc to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity
83.) It’s never too late to fire the staff
84.) Let others keep their reputation, you keep their Gold
85.) Even in the worst times, you can turn a profit
86.) Deep down, everybody’s a Goblin – we’re just better at it. (*Except gnomes. There’s no excuse for them.)
87.) Know a new customer before they walk in the instance!
88.) Sometimes, you just gottah go in low.

This last one was my own invention, you're welcome:
89.) When there’s no rule, make one up. If it works, sell it!

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Aadaria-Ioanna
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Post by Sohan Mon Jul 30, 2012 8:17 am

The people who made these guides have put SO much work into them. I love the devotion.
Now, gief me some Alliance ones Aadaria Very Happy (Take your time, though. Smile )
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Post by Aadaria-Ioanna Mon Jul 30, 2012 12:00 pm

Helrog wrote:The people who made these guides have put SO much work into them. I love the devotion.

That's why making new for everything isnt needed:P

And before any alliance guides atm, there is the trolls first:P There area few ones on the link however that is posted in the gamerelated siticky guides thingy:P

Aka:
Roleplaying Corner

They will be re edited however and posted over here, in due time along with new ones.
Aadaria-Ioanna
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Post by Sohan Mon Jul 30, 2012 12:30 pm

Aadaria-Ioanna wrote:
Helrog wrote:The people who made these guides have put SO much work into them. I love the devotion.

That's why making new for everything isnt needed:P

And before any alliance guides atm, there is the trolls first:P There area few ones on the link however that is posted in the gamerelated siticky guides thingy:P

Aka:
Roleplaying Corner

They will be re edited however and posted over here, in due time along with new ones.

Goodie goodie Smile
Sohan
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